Things That Amuse You

[::: :::]

[TStriker]

[evdog]

Quite the list for rectum

https://defector.com/what-did-we-get...ms-last-year-5

[Core Shot]

Quite the list for rectum

https://defector.com/what-did-we-get...ms-last-year-5

I’m familiar with rectal insanity. The straight dope had a yearly list. Two stand out. The u bend of a sink and a a 5x4x10” toolbox with socket sets inside. Wtf.

But your list freaks out my urethra. What the hell. How is any of that possible? A penile catheter seems bad enough. That list is mind boggling.

[old goat]

Quite the list for rectum

https://defector.com/what-did-we-get...ms-last-year-5

I saw a crystal ball in someone's ass once. The fortune teller predicted a trip to the ER.

[riser4]

I made the mistake of searching the web for 'ass berry'. I was interested in the etymology of this insult that I use occasionally. I did not realize that it is a product that you can buy from Amazon. However, as usual the reviews are gold.

[old goat]

Now you're on their mailing list. Haha.

[toast2266]

This falls somewhere between amusement, annoyance, and maybe the child abuse thread. Yesterday was the first decent pow day of the season at the local hill. On my first lap, I see an ~11 year old kid in a full rando racing skin suit skinning up (inbounds) on rando race skis behind her dad. No race or event, just skinning up for exercise or whatever.

I mean, good on the dad for getting the kid out. But a full rando race kit is fairly unnecessary for inbounds skin laps. And more importantly, it's a pow day. 700 gram carbon twigs are not the weapon of choice.

Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

[ötzi]

Quite the list for rectum

https://defector.com/what-did-we-get...ms-last-year-5

I dunno, the plastic Triceratops in the vagina is hard to beat. How could that have seemed like a good idea?

[skaredshtles]

I dunno, the plastic Triceratops in the vagina is hard to beat. How could that have seemed like a good idea?

Drugs, maaaaan... drugs.

[PB]

I dunno, the plastic Triceratops in the vagina is hard to beat. How could that have seemed like a good idea?

Dunno man, a stegosaurus could beat it.

[Rideski]

This is hilarious.

[whipski]

maybe shoulda built a fire before bed last night?

[Name Redacted]

[gravitylover]

Copied from a post in a great FB group:
The following may be dull to most as it is a first hand account of an unforgettable mishap. I share it as a warning, that the often mundane and dull tasks we perform frequently can take a turn for the worse when we stray from the familiar.

"I'm writing the following exposè in hopes of saving some poor man or woman from what just happened...it's still happening, if I'm being honest.

It started out innocently enough. It was the end of my day, and time for a shower. I noticed the body wash I usually use was on the bathroom counter. I discovered it was empty...no worries, I thought, surely in a family our size I would find something else. I did.

It was some foo foo, pink, rose petal, girly stuff. So I scanned the bathroom landscape for an alternative when a blue bottle on the top shelf caught my eye. Blue bottle, ehh, at least it's not pink, I think to myself. Now, I want you to understand, there is like a whole book written on this bottle, (which I may have taken the time to read if I was in there to do paperwork) so I glance over it and quickly decipher some of the more prominent words.

"Pure" that's good. "Castile" can't get more manly than castles. "Soap" yep, bingo! Heck, the dude who made it is a Dr. and has the word bro in his name. To top it off, my wife bought it, and she wouldn't buy junk. I figured it was on the top shelf for a reason, kinda like the good liquor is called "top shelf liquor". Anyway, I thought I should just get what I need and put it back...and here's where it gets interesting.

I'm 250 pounds of man flesh, so I squeeze a palm size amount straight onto my head, and then I proceed to balance it so it doesn't get in my eyes as I board the soon to be shower ride of my life! Within seconds, I was beginning to regret my choice. I had brain freeze...from the SOAP, ON MY HEAD. The introduction of the tepid water only complicated things. My eyes began to hurt like they did when I thought it would be a good idea to open them underwater in a FROZEN pool.

Now my eyes have brain freeze! By now little avalanches of super surfactant are draining down my skin, and then...

You know that feeling you get after chewing on a fresh stick of mint gum before drinking something cold? The nether regions of my sensitive man parts do! AAAAIE! Fellas, it's like that feeling you get as you slowly descend into really cold water and you think you might be able to audition for the Vienna Boys Choir. Oh, the onslaught of clean cuss words that followed that in a falsetto voice. Oiiiii!

Of course, I do what any sensible person would do in this situation...I start rinsing myself off...NOT GOOD! By this point, I'm not sure if I'm in pain or my body's largest organ is in sensory overload. I finish, open the curtain to grab my towel, and the wind created by the curtain moving about did me in! I regain composure and get dried off. I realize, as I step out of the shower, I have not done a good enough job in my arm pit and nether region that once again feels like a brain freeze.

I get dressed, grab the bottle of deception, and head straight out to have a talk with my wife (very slowly though, as the slightest air movement is still too much). It doesn't take her long to piece together the scene. Before I'm able to talk, she's all like, "You didn't use that in the shower did you?" "It was smelling very strongly of mint (that's an understatement) out here, and you were making weird noises." "How much did you use?" A palm full. "What!?! It's concentrated (no sheep dog Sherlock), it only takes a couple of drops!", she tells me.

I hope this is able to save someone from going through the same torture. Read the labels folks. I guess I will be smelling like a rose tomorrow night."

I laft

[singlecross]

I’ve used Dr. Bronner's for decades every time I shower... my wife won't let me buy Peppermint anymore after she had a one time mishap with it years ago on her undercarriage. I heard plenty of those funny sounds coming from the shower.

I recommend Tea Tree or Lavender depending on the season, mood, or stink level. A little bit goes a long way.

[AlpiNord]

Ginger ale as a substitute for preferred ginger beer. Irish Whiskey for blended, gives you a Ginger Bush:




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[Name Redacted]

[skaredshtles]

I chukkled.

[Ted Striker]

That's actually pretty good.

[riser4]

In.

[BmillsSkier]

When a snowstorm hits ATL, social media feeds are undefeated when it comes to the lulz.

Seen so far today: a $300K Lambo Aventador SV Roadster doing donuts [please let the influencer wreck]; Altima drivers showing they're still the most dangerous thing on the road even in snow; and ICON passholders getting their vertical in for the day:

[J. Barron DeJong]

The Lambo is good actually…. at least if they managed not to get it stuck and blocking traffic (and weren’t fucking with traffic while they were goofing off).

[riser4]

Nissan Altima FTW!!!

[BmillsSkier]

The Lambo is good actually…. at least if they managed not to get it stuck and blocking traffic (and weren’t fucking with traffic while they were goofing off).

Don’t get me wrong. If I had FU money, a $300k supercar and snow covered empty streets? Hell yeah I’m seeing what 12 cylinders in 3” of fluff can do.

Nissan Altima FTW!!!

Undefeated worst drivers on the road, 4 seasons running.