What it Really Takes to be a TGR Intern

We had no idea what was in store for us this summer... Katie Cooney photo.

It has been widely acknowledged since the concept of an “internship” was established that an unpaid position essentially means that you will become a company’s bitch, but with the “invaluable experience” of learning from the greats. An internship with TGR is no exception. Sure, we get to breathe the same air as Todd Jones on a day-to-day basis, occasionally make fleeting eye contact with a pro, and flaunt our free merch on nights out on the town, but at what cost?

Hand-picked from thousands (five) of qualified applicants, TGR set itself up with a satisfactory roster of summer lackeys. And so, as May rolled around, 12 eager youngsters packed up their lives and headed West for the summer, in hopes of earning a 5 star letter of recommendation from the illustrious company.

By some miracle, all 12 of us managed to secure housing for the summer, despite Jackson’s notoriously difficult market. Please, don’t ask questions about how this happened. We still have no clue. Despite our housing fortune, however, the summer hasn’t been without its challenges. We’ve learned what it really takes to be a TGR intern, and are here to share with you.

#1) SCARING OFF YOUR BOSS

HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE! TGR Archives photo. 

Summer 2016 got off to rough start with Intern King Ryan Dunfee abandoning the new crew within days. After enticing the editorial interns to move West with promises of gear to test, athletes to meet and valuable skills to be gained, Dunfee fled the premises immediately upon their arrival, for fear of disappointing his new charges. He has not been seen since then. Rumors are that he has become a hermit in the Gros Ventre wilderness with mystery intern Wes Thompson. Any information on the missing man should be sent directly to 1260 North West St, Wilson, WY.

#2) DECIPHERING JONSH

Intern Maddy Pigott asked the Desabris twins if they "knew each other before TGR" during her first week of work. Katie Cooney photo. 

The summer crew has dropped everything to kiss the feet of the magnificent Desabris brothers here at TGR’s headquarters in Wilson. Josh Desabris, self-proclaimed ‘king of the soft smile,' has joined his brother Jon, to the great confusion of many interns. With strikingly similar faces and matching tattoos, the interns have had a great deal of trouble telling them apart in order to decide whose feet they should actually be kissing.

#3) ALTERNATIVE FOOD SOURCES

If it weren't for the kindness of the ladies at Pearl Street Bagels, we would have starved this summer. Katie Cooney photo. 

When July came around, the wallets of the interns began to crumble under the financial pressures of living in Jackson. Lunchtime favorite Pearl Street Bagels has reported sightings of intern Hannah Clayton begging for day-old bread at their back door, then scurrying into the nearby bushes to feast on her first non-cup-noodle meal in weeks. The Desabris brothers have generously contributed the occasional cookie and iced coffee to fill the interns’ grumbling stomachs, at least temporarily.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Katie Cooney photo. 

The ski-town myth of “Angry August” is alive and well here in the office. Senior Contributor, Bumion slanger and resident grouch, Sam Morse, has refused to speak to interns for the past 3 days following the mysterious disappearance of his non-fat, low-cal Greek yogurt from the office fridge. The prime suspect for the crime is Maddy Pigott, a fugitive from the Canadian government who is believed to be residing in Jackson illegally. Other suspects include Zack Altschuler, who was last seen taking GoPro selfies with the aforementioned snack while riding a Boosted board during the work day.

#4) A SERIOUS DOWN JACKET

AOCC has hit the TGR World Headquarters hard this summer. 

Despite the mid-summer heat, conditions at the office are ... less than tropical. In addition to researching gravity, this summer, TGR interns have also had to battle AOCC (Acute Office Climate Change), asking mothers around the country to send down parkas and mittens to protect their bodies from the cold.

#5) CREATIVE TRANSPORTATION METHODS

Oh-so-generously, Charlotte has agreed to drive Katie, Katie, Kristin, Kyle, and Maddy to work. Katie Cooney photo. 

As budgets got tighter, interns were forced to resort to creative tactics to make their daily pilgrimage to the TGR World Headquarters. Gas prices, at an outrageous $2.52/gallon, became too much to bear. Residing in Idaho, intern Katie Cooney has often been known to hitch a ride over the pass on her rollerblades. Charlotte is the only one who can currently afford a car, or gas, and has ever so generously offered to shuttle her fellow interns to and from Jackson. At risk of smelling up the cab of the truck, she has been forced to turn to alternative methods of transporting the moochers.

THE BREAKDOWN

Cost of living in Jackson for one month: $24,592.12
16 6-packs of PBR tall boys: $96.00+tax
A parfait each day for the Desabris brothers: $12.95

A summer in the Tetons and a TGR internship: Priceless

Sound like fun? Apply today for Fall and Winter internships!

About The Author

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stash member Katie Cooney

Skier, photographer, dog lover, adventure seeker. Native of the land of cheese and beer, sometimes called Wisconsin.