Your narrator Zachary Sanford enjoys the ambiance. Photo Konstantinos Noulis
Whilst only a 45-minute train journey from London, arriving in Milton Keynes gives one the sense that perhaps he’s in the sprawling suburbs of a city in the American Midwest. Identically constructed office buildings occupy massive lots with space to spare. Its strip malls, boulevards and smooth concrete all make it seem a lot more Milton Friedman than John Maynard Keynes. Although I suppose it is appropriate that in a town with a name combining those of the 20th century’s juxtaposed pre-eminent economists, one should be able see both the negative and positive aspects of suburban development. Of course I’d rather stumble around in the rain in dense, dirty and soulful London, but here, believe it or not, one can go shredding, on snow.
Having never been snowboarding in a refrigerator before, I had some difficult decisions to make that would, if judged incorrectly, potentially ruin the experience. Do I wear my boots or set out with shoes on and boots in hand? Do I dress for a powder day or an ice rink snow September jib sesh? I also wonder, is there a chairlift and can I smoke on it? You know, basic stuff. All of my indecision turned out to be superfluous, as street clothes with gloves and a helmet would suffice perfectly. Though I observed that many Brits opt to bring giant stuffed bags, pulled taut and ready to burst like sausage casings with gear for the high alpine, it turns out this was about as simple as going to open skate at an ice hockey rink.
We don’t know who the perpetrator of this melon is, but feel safe assuming he has bad teeth. Photo Konstantinos Noulis
The park itself is not as simple, with some jumps and loads of boxes, rails and corrugated tubes set up in an “urban” fashion. That I found anything that is set up “urban” in Milton Keynes is a feat in and of itself, as this “new town,” designed and planned in the 1960’s, seems to be effectively a completely inorganic super-suburb that is economically stable enough to stand on its own two feet.
Zach perfects his urban moves, such as this switch back tail danish. Photo Konstantinos Noulis
It struck me that the formal name for the venue containing the snowdome, Milton Keynes Xscape, speaks to the need to escape the frustrations of subdued suburban living… and the rain. Through rock climbing, skateboarding, bowling (rare in England so perhaps Xtreme by English standards?) and something called a flying tunnel, not to mention copious amounts of fried chicken (Colonel Sanders can even be seen slashing pow on the decoration adorning KFC’s windows), a bar/music venue, Subway and retail shops, Xscape offers entertainment for all types.
Amongst the escapees were shredders of high skill and technicality, ranging from spin-happy pint size lads in oversized trousers, to hipsters in skin-tight jeans. One shredder with particularly arresting style (who I’ve since discovered is Forum UK’s Gareth Andrews – definitely one to watch) pulled out a list consisting of 25 or 30 maneuvers he was committed to filming on the corrugated tube. This list, consisting of danishes and pretzels and everything in between, is representative of the kind of mechanization and disconnection from nature that this kind of snowboarding evokes. Perhaps though, this is the inevitable progression of a capitalistic society. Shredders in untraditional locations will likely emerge from these factories, where their mothers watch from an exercise room overlooking the slopes, and soon slay all that lies before them on a mountain.
Don’t be mad, there’s only one obstacle there. Photo Konstantinos Noulis
Though this initial assessment may be naïve, I hope to learn much more about these snowdomes, in the months to come. The realization that I can ride a park year round, less than an hour from my home in London, is just setting in.– Zachary Sanford
You wouldn’t think a guy in the sky shot would be possible in a place with no sky. Zach just goes that big (ps. the tube from whence he came is in the lower left.) Photo Konstantinos Noulis
From: YoBeat
Written by: Zachary Sanford
Photography: Konstantinos Noulis
