Anyone have a kid skip a grade?

[Dee Hubbs]

Math in Spanish? No wonder she struggles with that.

Better than in French:

[GeoMatt]

Different perspective here. My sister skipped from kindergarten to 2nd grade - as suggest by the school. She has a January birthday, so nothing age related. She was a super voracious reader from early age and had an incredible ability to focus. Went on to be the HS valedictorian and was top 4 in her class at the Air Force Academy - heading there at 17yo. Just recently retired as a Lt. Col. It worked out pretty good for her. Didn't seem to have any impact on her socially, but we did grow up in a small town/rural community.

I've asked her before, if she would have wanted to do it any differently - and thinks it was by far the best situation for her. Her peers in kindergarten were in no way at her level academically, and the teacher was teaching to the average. The grade ahead of her was much more gifted, and brought her a more fulfilling educational experience both academically and socially.

I think every situation is very different and you have to weigh pros/cons. It has to be a good decision both socially and academically to really be in the students best interest.

[skaredshtles]

Is it a humblebrag that I can give advice on raising both exceptionally overachieving and underachieving children?

You're a parenting savant.

[Mani_UT]

I skipped a grade and HATED it. I was short (and immature) on top of that. I was just good at school. I moved to a new school in 5th grade and as we all lined up to get in our classes, a teacher came to me and said loudly "the line for the 3rd grade is over there..." Great. First day at school It all came eventually crashing during puberty (late as well) and I eventually doubled up 9th grade where some teachers saw me quickly go from first to nearly last grade wise...

I think a girl would do much better especially because of the maturity part.

[ghosthop]

I vetoed skipping a grade when I was 7 and am long term glad for that decision. My elementary school piloted an accelerated program that was later instituted county wide. By the time we got to high school, there was a core group of us that took every AP course offered at our school and really pushed each other academically.

It’s hard to tell at 7-8, but the kids I most likely would have been friends with in the grade above me were smoking oxies by 16. We were still part of a larger social network but that’s not whose house I was going to after school.

My wife started college at 14, was setting the curve in complex analysis at 16, and made up her social loss in grad school. Being young and nerdy gave her the extra time in the lab as an undergrad which changed her whole trajectory. We have a friend who was accepted into a well know private research university at 16 and promptly joined a frat. He is incredibly successful in his career but in social settings reverts back to a kid trying to impress his older frat brothers.

[snapt]

I mean, Idaho grades are likely a few behind most states?

I skipped ahead and have a November birthday, I couldn't imagine spending another second in high school. Playing sports a year younger than everyone else is character building. The only downside I found was being 17 my first year of college, but that honestly didn't effect much and was kind of fun.

[Buzzworthy]

Do it. She’ll be much happier trying to excel than she will being bored in classes till she graduates high school.

One option teaches her hard work to get where she needs to be. The other lets her coast while bored and that’s not a good life lesson for later.

My two cents.

[MarcusBrody]

I'm on Team Move given the circumstances, but do people think that age really matters that much for being bored with school work in later grades? I get it in elementary school where a lot of it comes down to being developmentally advanced enough to focus, but I don't think age matters nearly as much for dealing with material once you get to later grades. If (assuming you've taken the same things previously) you're bored by a class at 18, I suspect that you'd have been bored at 17 as well.

[Adolf Allerbush]

Rev, I'd stick it out with her in 2nd grade in your situation. That said, here are some thoughts:

My sister (you know her) basically mirrors your daughter's situation. The youngest of her grade with her July birthday and she was also born a month earlier than planned. My folks could've done what you guys did and had her repeat pre-k but instead stuck it out, so she was the kid that started kinder at 5. Academically she had no issues since she's very smart. I don't think it messed with her athletically...and maybe it's a girl thing, but she seemed the right maturity for her grade to me.

That said, my youngest boy has a Sept bday, and academically could've handled the grade ahead of where he is now but maturity-wise no way. Also, maybe it's just where I live, but as a boy being on the older end for sports is a nice feature. He'd be physically small and not as advanced if we had pushed him through.

I've got a coworker who did the opposite with her boy and he's doing fine academically, but his teachers say he's immature and sports are a struggle. Maybe it's character building?

[californiagrown]

There is more to school than academics. If you think she wont struggle by being a year behind physically and emotionally/mentally then go for it.


Personally, i would never move my kid ahead in grades unless he was crazy MENSA smart. IMO you gotta think holistically- think of the whole package that school entails and realize that academics is really only a small part. The majority is the social aspect where your kid will be a full year behind mentally and emotionally, and there is also the athletic part where they will be a year behind physically. Just make sure they are advanced enough in those other areas to move up, not just academically.

If my kid is smart enough to skip a grade, then I will take the time outside of school to work on advanced curriculum with him. Most decent middle schools will allow younger kids to take certain upper level classes and will have advanced placement lanes. So this should really only be an issue during elementary school.


At the end of the day, you know your kid and their personality best. If you think she will thrive in all aspects of the upper age group, then go for it. If you think she will struggle, maybe reconsider?


FWIW i was a july boy, and didnt get held back. I didnt start to go through puberty until senior year. It sucked watching kids half as talented but newly twice as big and strong as me pass me up starting at age 13. By the end of HS i was so burnt out i didnt bother with the handful of partial scholarships i was offered and instead quit all sports and went to a college a few states away where no one knew me. Of course freshman year i grew 6" and gained 40lbs. You really only get to play competitive sports once- when you are school aged. I wouldnt want to disadvantage my kid in that arena by moving him up, espeically with his late bloomer genetics.

[Buzzworthy]

Girls mature much faster than boys.
My advice has absolutely zero to do with athletics and everything to do with academics.
As a father my focus for my daughter has always been academic. Athletics come naturally or they don’t in my opinion and have never been a big concern.

My daughter is also graduating high school with a 3.98 gpa in all AP classes, is graduating her HS International Baccalaureate program with 30 college credits, and got a Flagship Scholarship to the U of U for $7k a year for 4 years. This is the type performance that makes us parents proud. Not how many goals were scored or if she’s the popular athlete in school that everyone knows in the hallways.

[MarcusBrody]

There is more to school than academics. If you think she wont struggle by being a year behind physically and emotionally/mentally then go for it.


Personally, i would never move my kid ahead in grades unless he was crazy MENSA smart. IMO you gotta think holistically- think of the whole package that school entails and realize that academics is really only a small part. The majority is the social aspect where your kid will be a full year behind mentally and emotionally, and there is also the athletic part where they will be a year behind physically. Just make sure they are advanced enough in those other areas to move up, not just academically.

If my kid is smart enough to skip a grade, then I will take the time outside of school to work on advanced curriculum with him. Most decent middle schools will allow younger kids to take certain upper level classes and will have advanced placement lanes. So this should really only be an issue during elementary school.


At the end of the day, you know your kid and their personality best. If you think she will thrive in all aspects of the upper age group, then go for it. If you think she will struggle, maybe reconsider?

I think the thing is that in Rev's situation, his daughter won't be that young for her grade. She will be on the young side, but the majority of students with her birthday (in a non-Covid year) would be in 2nd grade, where she's moving now.

I do totally agree with you about the multifaceted nature of education though. I definitely wouldn't consider moving my kid either way right now just because he seems to be in a good social development position more than any thing that's academic.

[I Skied Bandini Mountain]

You're a parenting savant.

Nah, I second guess everything I've done and it still keeps me up nights. I really shouldn't be giving any advice to anyone.

[californiagrown]

Athletics come naturally or they don’t in my opinion and have never been a big concern.

I disagree (only know about boys athletics though). Physical maturity plays a massive role in athletic success in boys from age 12-18. And yes, 1 year makes all the difference in the world during an age when it is common to grow 6" in a year.


You're daughter sounds like a stud. Good work.

[Adolf Allerbush]

You're daughter sounds like a stud. Good work.

Agreed. Buzz, are you saying that you attribute her success with pushing her forward a year in school? You feel like she wouldn't have achieved as well if she stayed back a grade?

[Buzzworthy]

I’m not sure there just one factor here but I do know she was bored in school early on as a young child and now she’s not. So this is a grain of salt really but yes, we could not be more proud of our daughter. Everyone is different so I shouldn’t say do it, I should say do it if it feels right for you, your daughter and your family life.
I am not a role model lol.

Edit to say thank you because I did not and I apologize. That was bad manners and I was raised better than that.

[SumJongGuy]

My sister and my son both started a year younger for different reasons. They both did fine with the school work when they applied themselves. However, they both got in more trouble than the other kids, detentions, suspensions... because they were trying too hard to earn the respect of the older kids around them. Luckily, neither one of them got in major major trouble, but they did take risks to the amusement of their older cohorts..

[DBdude]

Our oldest was born in July which meant we could have either started her in Kindergarten at 5 or kept her in preschool for another year and waited until 6. We opted to keep her in preschool for another year because it was during COVID and we were concerned about her social development while there was limited school going on that year.

She's now 7 and in first grade in a dual immersion school. She is a bright kid who lives school and occasionally grows frustrated with some of the other kids lack of attention in first grade. Basically kids mature so fast at that age that because she's the oldest in the class, she gets frustrated by young 6 year olds acting like they should, which slows the class down. She's also "bored" and obviously the nerd of that herd.

A few weeks ago they did their standard tests (I don't know the name) and she was in the top 1% in math, English and Spanish. Again, not claiming a genius kid here (this is Idaho public school, not St. Bart's) but she's smart and was clearly not being challenged.

Her teachers suggested that we immediately move her to second grade and drop her right in, which we did, hoping for the best. After two days, she's a bit overwhelmed by math (they do it all in Spanish) but loving English. She's definitely got some catching up to do which is probably good for her.

Wondering if anyone here has had a similar situation and had any advice for getting them caught up, pitfalls to watch out for, etc. We're not super concerned about athletics as she's probably not super gifted in that area, though she loves to ski, plays soccer, begrudgingly plays hockey and does JuJitsu. I'd say she's about normal in terms of maturity for a 7.5 year old. Any social concerns? Long-term stuff? I'm perfectly fine with her being the last to drive, buy beer, etc. But we have no idea what we're doing and looking for any pointers y'all might have.




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Teach her the math yourself

It’s easy

She will be up to speed in no time

Teach her your way -not the teachers

Seeing it two different ways is good

Second - no memorization

2 *2 = 2 + 2

2 * 3 = 2 +2 + 2

Number lines and fingers

Just make sure your daughter can present the answers in the form the teacher is expecting and explain that there are many different ways to a correct answer

My biggest battle was getting my boys to show their work - this lasted through high school




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[The Reverend Floater]

This thread has been absolutely fantastic. Thank you all. I'll keep you updated.

Teach her the math yourself

It’s easy

She will be up to speed in no time

Teach her your way -not the teachers

Seeing it two different ways is good

Second - no memorization

2 *2 = 2 + 2

2 * 3 = 2 +2 + 2

Number lines and fingers

Just make sure your daughter can present the answers in the form the teacher is expecting and explain that there are many different ways to a correct answer

My biggest battle was getting my boys to show their work - this lasted through high school




Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

Yes, we already have done some stuff in the past, as she truly enjoys it. She was doing basic multiplication and division and also knows her orders of operation. Nothing crazy but math is pretty easy for her, generally speaking.

What I've learned since starting this thread is that they have specific processes to do math. My daughter can do the actual problem in her sleep but she doesn't know the processes they are using and is frustrated. Here's an example called the "benchmark strategy". She can do the problem with no issues but isn't familiar with the processes they use. So now I have to learn all these so called tools just to get her where she already is.







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[Cruiser]

Elementary math curriculums are a shit show

[riser4]

Elementary math curriculums are a shit show

Yes. That's what got us in trouble. And I blame Dr Kenneth Gross from UVM with pure hatred. My kid was ready for Algebra in 3rd grade. However, even though he understood all the group shit in the new new math curriculum, the school insisted that he spend years practicing it. You show him something once and he understands it.

[MarcusBrody]

I understand the frustration with the extra steps on things you can do other ways, but I do believe in it. It's pretty akin to how most people who are good at mental math do it and there is a body of research that suggests it leads to a better understanding of what's going on down the line.

I sometimes teach college math classes and both the mental math and the ability to break things and recombine them are good to start learning from the get go.

[I Skied Bandini Mountain]

I like it too, FWIW. It was kinda fun to learn a new way when I was helping the kids with the math homework. "Muscle memory" also kicks in after you do it for a bit and get through the learning curve.

[The Reverend Floater]

Rev, I'd stick it out with her in 2nd grade in your situation. That said, here are some thoughts:

My sister (you know her) basically mirrors your daughter's situation. The youngest of her grade with her July birthday and she was also born a month earlier than planned. My folks could've done what you guys did and had her repeat pre-k but instead stuck it out, so she was the kid that started kinder at 5. Academically she had no issues since she's very smart. I don't think it messed with her athletically...and maybe it's a girl thing, but she seemed the right maturity for her grade to me.

That said, my youngest boy has a Sept bday, and academically could've handled the grade ahead of where he is now but maturity-wise no way. Also, maybe it's just where I live, but as a boy being on the older end for sports is a nice feature. He'd be physically small and not as advanced if we had pushed him through.

I've got a coworker who did the opposite with her boy and he's doing fine academically, but his teachers say he's immature and sports are a struggle. Maybe it's character building?

To be honest, the only memories I have of your sister were her hazing us for a) drinking too much when your mom was gone b) not drinking enough and c) being a bunch of little shits. To be fair to J, she was correct on all accounts.

[The Reverend Floater]

I understand the frustration with the extra steps on things you can do other ways, but I do believe in it. It's pretty akin to how most people who are good at mental math do it and there is a body of research that suggests it leads to a better understanding of what's going on down the line.

I sometimes teach college math classes and both the mental math and the ability to break things and recombine them are good to start learning from the get go.

This is helpful, thank you.

Also, I believe your changed your Avatar which is two demerits.