Random Unthreadworthy Questions

[Deebased]

As I should of said, I was not in the house to see what happened and no I didn't give my 30 year old daughter shit for telling Grandma to mind her fucking business and to back off. If you tell an adult what to do, they may tell you to fuck off.



Thanks for making me think about that. I could easily write my mom off, as she can say very hurtful stuff. I will think about what you said.

Cutting family out of your life is one of the worst decisions you can make. Perhaps get them together and act as the peacemaker.

[XXX-er]

my parents did that ^^ with my niece and it was all very fucked up, my mother was a nasty old lady who pushed my father ... exactly what was the point of it all

[old goat]

liv2ski--it sounds like your daughter is willing to be around your mother but not visa versa. Sounds like your mother is trying to make you choose between the two of them. I don't think you need to cut your mother out of your life but she shouldn't be allowed to decide when your daughter can be around. Your daughter shouldn't have to avoid being around you when your mom is around. If you invite your daughter and mom for an event I'd make it clear to each that the other would be there. If one or the other chooses not to attend so be it. If they both attend and one of them is being nasty, throw them out. If neither comes there's more food for you.

It sucks to be stuck in the middle between people you love or like or tolerate who don't get along with each other.

My granfather and his brother didn't talk for 50+ years. No one knew why. I'm not sure they did. Family estrangement is very sad. I can understand if there's physical or mental abuse or seriousl neglect but short of that we should grit our teeth and bear it.
My best friend is my cousin. We had words a few years ago. And stopped talking for a couple but thankfully he broke the ice first and we get along again. I'm not sure our relationship will ever be quite as close as it was but it beats not talking.

"I don't like half the folks I love", Paul Thorn, from a song of the same name.

[neufox47]

Guys, help me out here with your 2 cents. About 2 years ago my mom was over for the holidays, I was outside and she was nanner nanering my daughter who blew up and told her to keep her fucking opinions to herself.

Since then my daughter has apologized a dozen times and my mom continues not to accept her apology as "You don't yell at grandma". Previously, my daughter would be sure not to be here when my mom was (which is udder BS).

Thankfully Covid has kept my mom out of the picture this year so I can hang with my kids. On Christmas day I told my mom she needed to let it go or she was not welcome in my home anymore. She said she will never forgive my daughter yelling at her, so I said, "that is your final decision"? She said yup, so I said adios until you grow up.

Am I fucking up? She is the most adult of us all, so after numerous apologies, I think she should be able to let this go and I will not allow her to bully my family, as that is kind of her M.O.

Grandma should let it go. I’d point out that she apologized numerous times and ask her what more she expects or wants to make this right? Sometimes people who are bitching need to be asked for their “price”. If she sticks by her position then I think you are within your rights to not invite her over when the daughter will be there or not at all.

P.s. How much is Grandma worth? If she’s kicking 7 figures down a generation then she has a point and tell your daughter to keep groveling.

[Buster Highmen]

Tell them you love them, but you can't be around both of them at the same time.
They're each adults and should act like it. It's not your job to fix their problems even though it impacts you the most.

Since your mom sounds like she's being the most recalcitrant, I'd prioritize time with your daughter.
But don't banish your mom; find time for her too and let her know there would be more quality time if they could solve their problems.

[ncskier]

My Grandfather didn't talk to his brother-in-law (sister's husband) for 50 years after he crossed a picket line to go to work. He did go to his wake, though. At the wake, my grandfather said, "I guess he was an okay guy, for a scab." That was a pretty good grudge.

That is unbelievably stubborn. Like so stubborn it’s admirable,
Perfectly timed whit as well. Imagine a cantankerous old Irish guy doing that


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[PNWbrit]

What the fuck did your mother say to get a 30 year old granddaughter to drop the f bomb.

Why the fuck didn't your 30 year old daughter know not to?

Keep them apart if you cant bring them back together.

Don't cut your mother out or threaten banishing her from your home.

[shroom]

nuance matters

age doesnt

[The AD]

On Christmas day I told my mom she needed to let it go or she was not welcome in my home anymore. She said she will never forgive my daughter yelling at her, so I said, "that is your final decision"? She said yup, so I said adios until you grow up.

Am I fucking up? She is the most adult of us all, so after numerous apologies, I think she should be able to let this go and I will not allow her to bully my family, as that is kind of her M.O.

I don't think you are. Your mom is being an asshole.

[skiballs]

Women, can’t live (happily) with em, can’t kill em (legally).


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[MakersTeleMark]

I don't think you are. Your mom is being an asshole.

I was going to say that she's a pure bread cunt, but you put it more nicely.

[liv2ski]

Tell them you love them, but you can't be around both of them at the same time.
They're each adults and should act like it. It's not your job to fix their problems even though it impacts you the most.

Since your mom sounds like she's being the most recalcitrant, I'd prioritize time with your daughter.
But don't banish your mom; find time for her too and let her know there would be more quality time if they could solve their problems.

Thanks for the responses guys. I had a few good laughs and yes, my mom is an asshole and it kind of runs in the family, so I an going to go with Busters above suggestion so I am not one also, but I could be very easily as my mom is on my last nerve these days. Thanks for the 2 cents guys.

[easyrdr]

My .02, estrangement sucks. Even a strained relationship is still better than none. My wife is completely estranged from her entire family, mentally ill mother with BPD turned the whole family against her. We have tried everything, inviting them to our kids events, etc. We don't hear a word. Our youngest child does not know a single member of the family, our older two know all of them and don't understand why they don't speak to us. It has been 10 years now. There is nothing normal about it. Holiday's are the worst time of year for my wife. I'd like to say it gets easier but so far it hasn't. I truly believe some sort of relationship would be better than nothing.

[glademaster]

"A child can disown their parents, but parents can never disown their children."

Choice seems clear to me.

Family or not, you need to establish firm boundaries. If people can't abide by them, then good riddance.

[ötzi]

That is unbelievably stubborn. Like so stubborn it’s admirable,
Perfectly timed whit as well. Imagine a cantankerous old Irish guy doing that.

Yeah both of them were Irish immigrants.

[MakersTeleMark]

I disowned my parents for over a decade. Then they went up and died and it landed on my lap because my only other living relative was busy. It was a tough couple of years. I don't regret my decision, nor my response, but I realize subconsciously that it has affected my relationships.

[ötzi]

Switching gears, what's the story with the NHL this year? I have no clue what they're doing.

[ötzi]

Switching gears, what's the story with the NHL this year? I have no clue what they're doing.

Yeesh. I gotta look up the answers to my own questions? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020–21_NHL_season

[BmillsSkier]

To be fair, it’s that odd time of year where you don’t quite know what day it is, what you’re supposed to be doing or what you’ve already done, so response times may be a bit slower than normal around here.

[Woodsy]

Switching gears, what's the story with the NHL this year? I have no clue what they're doing.

Here's a breakdown of everything we know regarding the NHL's now officially official return.

When does the NHL season start?
Training camp start date (seven non-bubble teams): Dec. 31
Training camp start date (remaining teams): Jan. 3
NHL season start date: Jan. 13
On Dec. 7, reports began to circulate that the NHL was putting a big, red-pencil circle around Jan. 13. Now that date can be circled with a big, fat red permanent marker.

The seven teams that did not compete in the 2020 postseason will get a few extra ice sessions as the majority of their players have not suited up since things shut down March 12. As for the remaining 24 teams, they'll open up trainig camp on Jan. 3.

It appears Connecticut still doesn't have a team

more here https://www.sportingnews.com/us/nhl/...d1be12j11oli8b

[Aldo]

To be fair, it’s that odd time of year where you don’t quite know what day it is, what you’re supposed to be doing or what you’ve already done, so response times may be a bit slower than normal around here.

Especially if you've got that new video game posted up in the house.... unless you could find a way to interface the forum on that screen....

[BmillsSkier]

Especially if you've got that new video game posted up in the house.... unless you could find a way to interface the forum on that screen....

The cocktail version is especially dangerous. You don't notice how long you've been there until you look up to see beer bottles lined up along the edges.

[Aldo]

oh I can dig - combine galaga, sitting down and cocktails?

[Woodsy]

oh I can dig - combine galaga, sitting down and cocktails?

bar table Galaga in a local bar in my youth was dangerous

[BmillsSkier]

bar table Galaga in a local bar in my youth was dangerous

I am proud to report that I can now advance to Stage 9 without losing a guy, while looking through one functional eye.

My results at Ms. Pac Man are not as fortuitous.