She's gone...want to move

**Tedski** · 08-03-2007, 03:54 PM

Well it's done. I finally got rid of my cunt of an old lady. 20 Fucking years down the drain. But anyway i'm moving on I and i want to start a new life in the west
That Bitch took all my money so I am just gonna leave. on my own and i thought skiing might be a good pursuit and i will start an mountain life I'm a pretty hard worker so hopfully I will be able to make some bread along the way. Any of y'all made the trip with no plan or anything? curious fo' advice?
Anyway she'll be sorry when she see's me in my next life.

Jamie · 08-03-2007, 04:22 PM

Got any naked shots of your ex? That'll help get over her.

**Phill** · 08-03-2007, 04:24 PM

Plus it would instantly remove your JONG status.

**Beaver** · 08-03-2007, 04:24 PM

Post em up.

**FrankZappa** · 08-03-2007, 04:25 PM

I hope this helps your Dear Abby JONG syndrome

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Adrian belew (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Patrick ohearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (background vocals)
Andre lewis (background vocals)
Randy thornton (background vocals)
Davey moire (background vocals)

Hey! do you know what you are?
Youre an asshole! an asshole!

Some of you might not agree
cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, cause youre an asshole...

Maybe you think youre a lonely guy
Maybe you think youre too tough to cry
So you went to the grape,
Just to give it a try
And dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life
Was his name...
One two three four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
Lets talk about leather: leatherrrrrr
And so you kissed a little sailor
Tex abel, starring in the latest shepperton production:
Who had just blew in from spain
Sir richard pump-a-loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of angel
The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko
Then on tuesday night, ceasars back in town
In a way you cant explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With kona.
And so you worked the wall with michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic hell
But you came back on sunday for the gong show
Next thursday, teen towns finest...
But you forgot what I was sayin
cause youre an asshole, youre an asshole
Thats right
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole
Yes, yes
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole
Thats right
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole

Now you been to the grape n you been to the chest
n now I think you know what you are: youre an asshole

You say you cant live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you aint got one on the bottom of you,
But dont fool yerself girl
Its lookin at you
Dont fool yerself girl
Its winkin at you
Dont fool yerself girl
Its blinkin at you
Thats why I say
Im gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!

Dont fool yerself, girl
Its goin right up yer poop chute
Dont fool yerself, girl
Its goin right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)

Aw, I knew youd be surprised...

**iceman** · 08-03-2007, 04:25 PM

Go to Vail and yell "Brett I need you" at the top of your lungs three times, he'll show up just like Beetlejuice.

If this isn't a troll, good luck with the new life and sorry about the old one. Plenty of work to do in SLC and the skiing doesn't suck.

**dn4989** · 08-03-2007, 04:26 PM

Welcome TedSki! Brilliant first post.

Is that really you in your avatar? If it is you may want to remove it ASAP because that's crazy! WC

edit: Oh, I forgot, forget her she is the one missing out.

**AsheanMT** · 08-03-2007, 04:26 PM

Just bring the bare essentials and some money for hookers. You'll be just fine

Jamie · 08-03-2007, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

Go to Vail and yell "Brett I need you" at the top of your lungs three times, he'll show up just like Beetlejuice.

What happens when he shows up?

**rideit** · 08-03-2007, 04:31 PM

CORN HOLE!

Everybody's high on consolation
Everybody's trying to tell me
What is right for me, yeah
I need a drink and a quick decision
Now it's up to me, ooooh what will be

(Chorus)
She's gone, she's gone
Oh, why
Oh, why
I better learn how to face it
She's gone, she's gone
Oh, why
Oh, why
I'd pay the devil to replace her
She's gone, she's gone
Oh, why
What went wrong

Get up in the morning, look in the mirror
One less tooth brush hanging in the stand
My face ain't looking any younger
Now what I can see
Love's taken a toll on me

(Chorus)

Think I'll spend eternity in the city
Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away
And pretty bodies help dissolve the memories
There can never be what she once was to me

(Chorus)

**Phill** · 08-03-2007, 04:32 PM

Originally Posted by Jamie

What happens when he shows up?

.........

**dn4989** · 08-03-2007, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by Phill

.........

WC:

**iceman** · 08-03-2007, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by Jamie

What happens when he shows up?

Brett will take him in, give him a place to crash, feed him, show him some sick stashes, help him find a place to live and a job, and just generally be a both a helping hand and a shoulder to lean on.

Because that's how the man is. He's all about the community.

**The Dad** · 08-03-2007, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by Phill

.........

lolled.

rly.

**Blurred** · 08-03-2007, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

Brett will take him in, give him a place to crash, feed him, show him some sick stashes, help him find a place to live and a job, and just generally be a both a helping hand and a shoulder to lean on.

Because that's how the man is. He's all about the community.

Actually, I could make all that happen. (with naked pics of the ex of course)

**PNWbrit** · 08-03-2007, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

Brett will take him in, give him a place to crash, feed him, show him some sick stashes, help him find a place to live and a job, and just generally be a both a helping hand and a shoulder to lean on.

Because that's how the man is. He's all about the community.

I thought he was a community?

**Blurred** · 08-03-2007, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by Phill

.........

Phill made a funny! Even I laughed.

Rootskier cried cuz you made a funny referring to "buttsecks"

Jamie · 08-03-2007, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by PNWbrit

I thought he was a community?

Not until he gets the maggot house established. Then he will be a community.

**Blurred** · 08-03-2007, 04:41 PM

Originally Posted by PNWbrit

I thought he was a community?

No, not like your moms cooch.

**Blurred** · 08-03-2007, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by Jamie

Not until he gets the maggot house established. Then he will be a community.

You didn't get the memo? We're all staying at phUnks insteAD.

**FREESKIER_FIVE-0** · 08-03-2007, 04:45 PM

Thats the best post Phill has ever made. I am actually glad hes not on my ignore list right now.

Jamie · 08-03-2007, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by BlurredElevens

You didn't get the memo? We're all staying at phUnks insteAD.

Fuck, I'm out. I'm into the whole community thing and all, but the thought of a skinny midget trying to play 'hide the salami' with me in the middle of the night scares me. That PHunk guy is sketchball.

Jamie · 08-03-2007, 04:49 PM

Maybe the dude is uploading the pics........................

**Tedski** · 08-03-2007, 04:53 PM

You guys sound as crazzz as me . still don't know where i'm going but I'm not lookin back so you won't here any more cryin in my beer out of me. I am determined to make this the start of my life not the end.

Thanks for the feedback.

**Blurred** · 08-03-2007, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by Tedski

You guys sound as crazzz as me . still don't know where i'm going but I'm not lookin back so you won't here any more cryin in my beer out of me. I am determined to make this the start of my life not the end.

Thanks for the feedback.

No offense, but it's a good thing you got rid of that bitch.

She was fucking everybody I know.

Good riddance.

BTW-what's her e-mail addy?