The most offensive joke thread

**72Twenty** · 10-31-2007, 11:04 AM

Ok, just some hippie jokes...

whats more dumb than a box of rocks??
the hippie that carries it accross the country.

How do you get 20 hippies into a phone booth? Throw in a joint.
How do you get them out? Throw in a bar of soap.

Why did the hippie cross the road?
Who else would follow a chicken around?

How do ya tell if a hippy chick is on the rag?
She's only got one sock.

What do you call a hippy with a haircut?
The defendant.

**Caucasian Asian** · 11-01-2007, 09:56 PM

Two families moved from Pakistan to Edmonton. When they arrived the two fathers made a bet. In a year's time, whichever family had become more Canadian would win.

A year later they met again. The first man said, 'My son is playing hockey, I had Tim Hortons for breakfast, and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Molson's.

How about you?'

The second man replied, 'Fuck off, Paki.'

**Bring On The Snow** · 11-01-2007, 11:14 PM

Probably already been posted but i dont feel like reading 10 pages

-whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a lambo?

-I dont have a lambo in my garage

**orlowskij** · 11-01-2007, 11:47 PM

What's black, blue, and doesn't like to have sex?
The 8 year old in my trunk

What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees

**Rasputin** · 11-02-2007, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by MrZach

What's even funnier that that!?

The story of Rasputin's penis

(yes, it's SFW)

Now you're bringing back painful memories of past lives, but nothing that I haven't seen here before. You obviously aren't aware of my beginning here.

**Rasputin** · 11-02-2007, 01:19 AM

Originally Posted by 72Twenty

Ok, just some hippie jokes...

whats more dumb than a box of rocks??
the hippie that carries it accross the country.

How do you get 20 hippies into a phone booth? Throw in a joint.
How do you get them out? Throw in a bar of soap.

Why did the hippie cross the road?
Who else would follow a chicken around?

How do ya tell if a hippy chick is on the rag?
She's only got one sock.

What do you call a hippy with a haircut?
The defendant.

Now those are some GOOD hippy jokes, because they actually have something to do with hippy behavior. Also:

How do you know if hippies have stayed at your house? They're still there.

**macdadmorgan** · 11-02-2007, 03:54 AM

this one is hard to wright down, but if you say it out loud it works.

What is the best thing about fucking twenty four year olds?

There is twenty of them.

**skiwa** · 11-02-2007, 06:12 AM

NOTE: mildly racist

whats the difference between a jap and a hot pocket?

-hot pockets dont scream when you nuke 'em

**basinbeater** · 11-05-2007, 02:37 PM

Sorry for bringing it back from the dead, but I LOVE JOKES!!!!!!!

What do you call an Ethiopian Woman with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

What is the fastest animal in the world?

Ethiopian chicken.

What do you call two Ethiopians in a sleeping bag?

Twix.

What do walrus' and tupperware have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

Daddy get off me you are crushin my smikes.

**KungFu Eddie** · 11-05-2007, 04:30 PM

What's black and crispy with wheels at the top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeve in a house fire.

What's funnier than a drunken clown?
A drunken clown with down syndrome.

**GBB** · 11-05-2007, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by basinbeater

What do you call an Ethiopian Woman with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

that is fucking gross!

**DanKo** · 11-05-2007, 08:49 PM

Q: What's purple and sits in my basement?

A: My Nigger! I can paint it whatever color I want!

**KungFu Eddie** · 11-06-2007, 01:21 AM

What do you do after you rape a blind, deaf, mute?

Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

**maddog** · 11-06-2007, 05:26 AM

A teacher, a lawyer and a priest are on an airplane with three orphans. The plane is crashing, the pilot and the co-pilot have already bailed out and there are only three parachutes left. The teacher says, "Quick, get the orphans into the parachutes. We've had our lives, let them have theirs!" The lawyer says, "Are you kidding... Screw the orphans." And the priest says, "Do you think we have time?"

**Caucasian Asian** · 11-06-2007, 07:35 AM

What's the difference between a blonde and a fridge?

THe fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

**Lonnie** · 11-06-2007, 08:08 AM

The young girl in the deeps woods of Appalachia wanted to go to her high school dance. So she asked her dad, "Daddy, can I go to the dance tonight?"

"No, bobby sue, you've gotta stay home and do your chores."

"But Daddy, I do just about ANYTHING if you'd let me go to the dance tonight."

So the Dad thought about it for a minuet, and said, "Would you suck you daddy's dick?"

Bobby sue thought about it and said, "Hummm, Ok"

So she's down there going to town and gets this awful look on her face and says "Daddy, your dick tastes like shit!"

"Yeah, your little brother wanted to go too."

**TS Quint** · 11-15-2007, 02:42 PM

I came up with a couple more:

- what do you call a 500 lb woman sitting across the bar from you licking her lips and holding a condom? - - - a 1/4 ton pickup with a box liner.

- a man comes home from work to find all his possessions on the front lawn. When he goes inside to confront his wife, he finds her hysterical - telling him to get the fuck out. He questions her and finally gets her to tell him that all the neighbors, all her friends and family think he's a pedophile. He thinks for a moment and replies - - - "pedophile...pedophile? Honey, c'mon, don't you think that's a pretty big word for a fifth grader?"

**Caucasian Asian** · 11-15-2007, 02:50 PM

What is the best way to clean a dead baby out of a blender?

Nacho chips.

**cramer** · 11-15-2007, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by maddog

A teacher, a lawyer and a priest are on an airplane with three orphans. The plane is crashing, the pilot and the co-pilot have already bailed out and there are only three parachutes left. The teacher says, "Quick, get the orphans into the parachutes. We've had our lives, let them have theirs!" The lawyer says, "Are you kidding... Screw the orphans." And the priest says, "Do you think we have time?"

hehe

**Chiz** · 11-15-2007, 03:07 PM

What is red and hangs from trees?

monkey miscarriages

**Caucasian Asian** · 12-18-2007, 07:25 PM

What do you call a black man flying an airplane?

the pilot.

fugging racists

**skikat** · 12-18-2007, 08:24 PM

what's better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics?

not being retarded

**nick > jesus** · 12-18-2007, 09:21 PM

what the only enlightening kind of church?

a burning one

**Diamond Joe** · 12-18-2007, 09:32 PM

What bubbles, and scratches at glass?

A baby in a microwave.

What do you call a white man surrounded by 3 black men? Victim.
What about a white man surrounded by 5 black men? Coach.
How about a white man surrounded by 10 black men? Quarterback.
and a white man surrounded by a thousand black men? Warden.