Best Panhandler Signs

**Mofro261** · 05-22-2007, 10:00 AM

Panhandlers are pretty rampant in Seattle, and one can pretty much guarantee seeing them everyday at a downtown off ramp. Usually the signs run the usual gamut from "Please Help Veteran", "stranded, need money to get to Alaska", and the usual "will work for food". Occasionally, the honest ones are in there with "need money for 420" or "please buy me a drink".

Today was the best one I've ever seen. A scruffy guy in his 40's holding up 2' by 3' piece of cardboard with big red letters:

My Father was Killed by Ninjas.
Need Money for Karate Lessons.

that was worth a dollar.

**Conundrum** · 05-22-2007, 10:11 AM

Saw one in Portland two weekends ago. Wish I had a camera ready.

"Spaceship broke down, need money for beer and beer parts."

**iceman** · 05-22-2007, 10:16 AM

Seems that guy has internet access.

**pappag** · 05-22-2007, 10:18 AM

I think this was on Insomniac in a different city, but saw a guy in NYC with a sign that read something like "Yell at me for $2".

Saw one in Baltimore that said "Need money for weed and beer." At least he was honest.

Also in NYC but not a sign: while at a stoplight, a guy came up to my car, tapped on the window, and said "Hey...for two dollars, I'll let you keep your car." Thought that was pretty original.

**The AD** · 05-22-2007, 10:21 AM

I hate the guys who throw in something about God on their sign. I'd give the guy who's getting revenge on the ninjas money way before the God guys!

**boar2m** · 05-22-2007, 11:52 AM

…if I remember correctly, back in 2000 during the NASDAQ meltdown, the sign went something like this – “Worldcom, dotcom, and no income!”

...ah, painful memories!

**gorms** · 05-22-2007, 11:57 AM

From the Westword

I think the article is pretty funny

**rideit** · 05-22-2007, 12:11 PM

"Easy there, fella", I think..."Suck your minister's cock with that mouth?".....

**G. Gordon Liddy** · 05-22-2007, 12:34 PM

In front of the old Wagner's grocery store in Bend, Oregon:
"Why Lie, I need a beer"

Everybody gave the guy cash!

**BigKuba** · 05-22-2007, 01:49 PM

A guy in Berkeley came up to me and told me that he'd let me punch him in the face for a dollar

**shmerham** · 05-22-2007, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Nick Pappagiorgio

I think this way on Insomniac in a different city, but saw a guy in NYC with a sign that read something like "Yell at me for $2".

I saw that one or a similar one when I was in NYC one time.

One time in Berkeley a guy sang love songs to me for 10 minutes and told me he was a member of 'Parliament' and that he was a PhD from Duke.

**mnflyfish** · 05-22-2007, 01:57 PM

The best one I ever saw was in NY back in the early 90's when Trump was in a heap of financail trouble, looking at bkrpcy. Guy on the street had a sign that said: "The Save Donald Trump Fund". I kicked in.

Jay

**Tye 1on** · 05-22-2007, 02:12 PM

Not to c**t up the thread. Setting: Denver. En route to Avalanche game [still hate the fuckers from the Lemieux/Ricci days, but they were playing the Oilers]. Missed the exit for 25 or whatever, ended up touring the 'hood, heading toward the greater downtown area.

Seeing a couple domes, not knowing which one, and running out of time to pick up Craigslist-scalped ticked, my co-pilot was starting to stress.

Stress not, said I, this is where the Vegas-maggot training kicked in. Spotted a begger-dude as I pulled to a stoplight. Dude, which way is the hockey rink? Ok, he said, here's awhatcha do, see that light, go thru that, git in yo fah left lane. 2 more lights, take a left....etc...with perfect directions. Thanks bro! And threw him a buck. Co-pilot shook her head.....'never woulda thought'...

**Griz** · 05-22-2007, 03:25 PM

Different kind of sign... saw a guy sitting in a doorway downtown who had sharted himself in a very apparent manner - without a pic, no justice is done. I've seen a lot of panhandlers that I didn't feel sorry for, but this guy was down on his luck... I like to believe I contributed to the thriftstore pants fund, but I get a chuckle out of considering him sitting around drinkin booze in his sharted pants.

**RootSkier** · 05-22-2007, 03:29 PM

**RootSkier** · 05-22-2007, 03:32 PM

**tex1230** · 05-22-2007, 04:51 PM

When I lived in San Diego there was a guy in mission beach who changed his signs every week...
The best one I saw was "Help a Hippy...Pizza and Master Card Accepted"

My father came to NYC a couple of years ago (Mind You - he is the epitome of a Texan...6'5", Alligator Boots, Big Belt buckle, Stetson Hat) - Walking thru Times Square and a bum comes up to him and says "Hey Cowboy, Can you spare a Million Dollars?"

He laughed his ass off...and gave the guy $50

**mavrick** · 05-22-2007, 09:53 PM

Venice beach... gave the guy a buck to take his pic

**String** · 05-23-2007, 12:10 AM

"my ride broke down, need money for jet fuel"

...or something saying he needed money for jet fuel, hilarious. I'll bet he made some good money that day.

**P_McPoser** · 05-23-2007, 12:33 AM

Originally Posted by mavrick

Venice beach... gave the guy a buck to take his pic

Cool, I saw that guy there in February.

**MOHSHSIHd** · 05-23-2007, 01:24 AM

not a sign, but the guy who was always at the electric factory in philly:

"Whats the best nation in the world?"

....

as he tips his hat down: "A do-nation"

G · 05-23-2007, 07:15 AM

Somewhere in LA:

"for two dollars, I will guess where you got your shoes"

**farmasea** · 05-23-2007, 07:36 AM

"You got your shoes on your feet"

Same grift in New Orleans circa 1990

**summit** · 05-23-2007, 07:48 AM

"support your local bum"

**pappag** · 05-23-2007, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by MOHSHSIHd

not a sign, but the guy who was always at the electric factory in philly:

"Whats the best nation in the world?"

....

as he tips his hat down: "A do-nation"

HAHA!!!

I've heard that one before....I'm thinking either Philly as well or Baltimore.