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Thread: Coffee is good, but only when taken anally. (NSR)

  1. 01-26-2004, 03:19 PM #26
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    Re: Funniest post I've ever read!! LMAO!!

    Originally posted by BanditXXX
    I will no longer be critical of you or your posts. Dude, you are one funny sumbitch. That shit is hilarious. You made my whole day. I couldn't stop laughing. You da man!!! LOL!!
    Thanks! Hey, wait just a minute... when were you critical of me you sonofabitch??

    Just kidding.




    This whole shitty topic has got me thinking, then searching the bowels of the Internet, and I found the following article. It's very funny, if a bit gruesome. Read on, but only if you've not recently eaten...

    The Enema Within
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  2. 01-26-2004, 03:35 PM #27
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    Assuming that there are benefits to putting coffee in your ass, how exactly does one find this out? Were there a couple of guys sitting around bored one night who decided to insert various substances up their asses and check for possible health benefits? "Mayonaise, nope. Antifreeze, nope. Coffee - Hell yeah!"
    Seems like it would leave burns in hard to reach areas as well.

    Possible idea for a new franchise: Brownstarbucks
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  3. 01-26-2004, 03:38 PM #28
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    Originally posted by tonghands
    Assuming that there are benefits to putting coffee in your ass, how exactly does one find this out? Were there a couple of guys sitting around bored one night who decided to insert various substances up their asses and check for possible health benefits? "Mayonaise, nope. Antifreeze, nope. Coffee - Hell yeah!"
    Seems like it would leave burns in hard to reach areas as well.

    Possible idea for a new franchise: Brownstarbucks
    On a not so scientific side, I thik this has been thouroghly researched by the guys on Jackass, fish, bottlerockets, etc..
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  4. 01-26-2004, 03:40 PM #29
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    Originally posted by tonghands

    Seems like it would leave burns in hard to reach areas as well.
    I'd guess they let it cool down a tad first, but just guessing.

    But you bring up a great point. Who's idea was this? I imagine it was similar to the first person to eat a shrimp or a crab or something. On a dare...
    French Fries!
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  5. 01-26-2004, 03:42 PM #30
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    Originally posted by tonghands


    Possible idea for a new franchise: Brownstarbucks
    Oh, the possibilities...

    Starbutts

    Seattle's Butts Coffee

    100% mountain grown Colon-bean coffee

    Laxwell House
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  6. 01-26-2004, 03:45 PM #31
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    Oh, and the revised slogans would be great!

    "Relax...you're on Brown Mountain Time."

    with a logo of a guy sitting on the crapper.

    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ
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  7. 01-26-2004, 03:48 PM #32
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    Originally posted by snowsprite
    Oh, and the revised slogans would be great!

    "Relax...you're on Brown Mountain Time."

    with a logo of a guy sitting on the crapper.
    That's guuud!
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  8. 01-26-2004, 03:59 PM #33
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    Yes, but how will they handle your drive-through espresso needs?
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  9. 01-26-2004, 04:05 PM #34
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    Wink

    Originally posted by grrrr
    Yes, but how will they handle your drive-through espresso needs?
    It's not a "drive up" window - it's a "back up" window.

    Barista!!! Fill 'er up!!
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  10. 01-26-2004, 04:07 PM #35
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    This is straight out of the South Park episode where they Cartmen shoves food up his ass and shits it out his mouth. I have not laughed this hard in a long time. Congradulations to two planker for funniest post of the day.
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  11. 01-26-2004, 05:20 PM #36
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    Has anyone tried searching for a testimonial from someone who actually tried this?
    "There is a hell of a huge difference between skiing as a sport- or even as a lifestyle- and skiing as an industry"
    Hunter S. Thompson, 1970 (RIP)
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  12. 01-26-2004, 05:30 PM #37
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    Originally posted by Plakespear
    Has anyone tried searching for a testimonial from someone who actually tried this?
    FAQ's about Coffee enima's

    I recently purchased a colon tube from you to use with my colonic equipment. However, I am having difficulty inserting it in very far. Do you have any idea what the problem might be? I have been doing colonics twice a week for a couple of years so I wouldn't think there should be any blockage.
    Colon tubes are not always easy to use. Some people love them, but many find them very hard to use. Below are some essential guidelines to know when inserting a colon tube into your colon.


    By no means force a colon tube.


    The best way to insert a colon tube is to begin a flow of water after you have inserted the colon tube a few inches and then to create a channel by further inserting the colon tube in stages, gradually.


    I recommend a medium diameter colon tube, French 28 to 32. Although, I do have many clients who swear by the thinner colon tubes.


    Each person reacts differently to colon tubes, even when a 'channel' of enema water or solution is created. You might never get the tube all the way in, and you should NEVER force the tube.


    It is not really necessary to get the colon tube all the way in to accomplish a 'high' enema. Use time, patience and gravity to your benefit. Unless your colon is congenitally abnormal, the enema should be able to reach the 'high' areas of the colon by taking at least 2 quarts of water.


    Most likely, the best way to take a 'deep' colon tube insertion is to start out on your left side, take some tube and water, then after the tube is 'in' about 10+ inches, and turn over on your back, with hips elevated on a pillow or something. It's better to have someone else helping, but that's not possible for most people. Just remember that it's not necessarily how deep the colon tube goes in but, rather, how deep the water goes in that really counts. This takes time, relaxation and listening to one's own body.


    Before you insert the colon tube, lay it out on a flat surface. Take note of its natural curve. As you insert the colon tube, slide it into your colon so that this natural curve corresponds with the curve of your colon.


    Remember, it is not a contest to see how much of the colon tube you can take, and you do NOT want to force the tube and perforate your colon, believe me! For a more in-depth discussion on colon tubes, please refer to our CD book, The Illustrated Guide to In-Home Colon Cleansing.
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  13. 01-26-2004, 05:37 PM #38
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    Originally posted by CaddyDaddy77
    It's better to have someone else helping...
    Volunteers?
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  14. 01-26-2004, 05:41 PM #39
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    Wink

    Originally posted by CaddyDaddy77


    I recommend a medium diameter colon tube, French 28 to 32.
    Make mine a Freedom colon tube and a bit younger if possible.
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  15. 01-26-2004, 05:45 PM #40
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    What if you used redbull?
    No.
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  16. 01-26-2004, 05:53 PM #41
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    HAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA.......

    Kona or Colna?

    Most likely, the best way to take a 'deep' colon tube insertion is to start out on your left side, take some tube and water, then after the tube is 'in' about 10+ inches

    .......going just fine till the '10+ inches' part...
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  17. 01-26-2004, 06:07 PM #42
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    Originally posted by Viva
    What...a whole can?
    3 or 4.
    No.
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  18. 01-26-2004, 06:12 PM #43
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    Thumbs up

    Originally posted by DINMS
    3 or 4.
    I think you would get better results if you took it out of the can.

    Then again what do I know.
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  19. 01-26-2004, 06:18 PM #44
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    Laxwell House...good to the last dump.
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  20. 01-26-2004, 06:19 PM #45
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    "Fill it to the rim with Brim" takes on a new light.
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  21. 01-26-2004, 06:20 PM #46
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    Originally posted by Lumpy
    "Fill it to the rim with Brim" takes on a new light.

    BWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
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  22. 01-26-2004, 06:20 PM #47
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    Originally posted by CaddyDaddy77
    For a more in-depth discussion on colon tubes, please refer to our CD book, The Illustrated Guide to In-Home Colon Cleansing.
    Wow, just noticed this. One can only hope a scratch and sniff version is not in the works.
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  23. 01-26-2004, 06:21 PM #48
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    And what about Cowboy Coffee? Them coarse grind beans might leave some chafing in the tunnel...
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  24. 01-26-2004, 06:23 PM #49
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    Originally posted by Lumpy
    And what about Cowboy Coffee? Them coarse grind beans might leave some chafing in the tunnel...
    That's the beauty, it will really get after the chicken fried steak and biscuts and gravy you had for breakfast two years ago.
    Skiing, where my mind is even if my body isn't.
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  25. 01-26-2004, 07:47 PM #50
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    Originally posted by CaddyDaddy77
    Remember, it is not a contest to see how much of the colon tube you can take
    Sounds like a challenge.
    Yep, seen this before. Crazy liquor & cheeseburger party got out of control.
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