Quotes from the Chairlift: 05-06 Edition

[GrabAss]

Last Sunday at Squaw while riding up Solitude...notice a guy hollering at his kid(5-7 years old) to just 'do it, it's easy, control your speed and make lots of turns." The kid was noticably intimidated and clearly made it known both verbally and through his hesitation. People on the chair start yelling at the guy about the kid being in over his head, don't make him do it, etc.... The kid slowly starts down and after three turns buries a tip in some soft snow and goes down head first. He quickly picks up speed and starts to yell in terror...scary moment, he just kept going faster. Finally came to a stop a hundred or so yards down and was shaken and crying. More shouts from the chair are directed to the dad and he just looks up and shrugs. Dad finally pushes off, makes some sloppy turns, crosses his tips, ejects, somersaults twice, and yardsales down past his kid. The chairlift erupted in cheers and insults slung at the dad....awesome!

ha ha this is pretty much my favorite. classic.

[jonski]

I was asked, in a deadpan southern drawl, just this last week;
"why do those skis have funny bent up backs on them?"

A few years ago, April 1st, bottom of 6 chair at Breck, we wrote on the message board that people should enjoy the bumps as they were being put into storage for the summer that evening. When asked 'why?' as we bumped the chair, we'd just reply that we were trying to make overtime as poor lifties...

When the signs used to be out in the morning to advise people to beware of the 'cats still grooming, people we're always asking what they were. Obviously we informed them The signs have now changed to read 'snow grooming equipment'...

[kadeater]

My buddy and I were at Snowbasin riding the JP quad. About 2/3 the way up there is a group of 4 skiers standing under the lift. There is about 3 inches of new snow and certainly no more. To the left of the skiers is a gate to enter a control area. Ok now do you have it pictured? So one of the kids looks at his friends as they try and figure out where to go and he looks to the gate and yells: "Sick fresh powder. Step aside BITCHES!!!" He then procedes to snowplow down through the gate and through the "fresh pow." My friend and I almost fall out of the chair we are laughing so hard.

[alto]

some of these quotes make me want to tear my hair out. why can't texans stay in texas? working at a ski shop i get asked some pretty dumb questions, especially by asians. this one woman asked after i pulled the liner out "why does it do that?" or something. i was dumbfounded. cuz it fucking does you bitch

Man tell me about it, I hate Asians.

"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"

[easyrdr]

Just finished a day of skiing at alta, dumping my gear in my truck when dude pulls up next to me in a car with his son and asks "How do I get to Park City?" Apparently he rented a car at the airport and followed the signs for Park City and ended up at Alta. It was hilarious.

[Ubersheist]

A week or so ago, my company gave us employees (plus one "guest") a free day of skiing up at Squaw.

While Telenater (my "guest" for the day) and I were taking out our Bro Models from the bus that the company rented, one of my gaperish coworkers asked us "Oh, did you guys rent skis at the same place?"

[angry_johnny]

roomate riding spats, riding up the funitel at squaw my roomate got from some guy looking at his skis "holy cow did you do that today"

[thegnar73]

I always thought this encounter was kind of cool.

I was at Heavenly once back in the late 80s. It was snowing big fat flakes. I was walking across the parking lot and this man - looked to be of Indian descent - asked in complete amazement:

"What is ............this?" gesturing to the snow falling from the sky.
"It's snow"
"oh. snow. Wow." says the man in utter amazement, walking off with his head to the sky letting it fall on his face.

I thought that was the coolest thing. This guy was marveling at the snow falling from the sky. Something he had never seen before.

peyote, its a hell of a drug.

[skibe]

I pull up to sugarloaf Sunday and say a quick hi to Mr AG and jump on the lift with my daughter and sister in law, half way up the lift it stalls for a few minutes and we hear "that's fucking lame,we should be able to live their since we're paying for it" coming out of bagtagley's mouth talking about compunds in Colorado city on the lift right behind us. Up until that point I didn't know he was right behind me.
Good seeing ya Bags and lets make sure to get at least one good ride in this Spring.

[stuckathuntermtn]

so now i guess i have to defend myself. its all direct observation. and this bitch (who wasn't asian, just a stupid bitch) kept asking the same stupid questions over and over again. NO THE BOOT IS NOT TO SMALL. some people just shouldn't ski. i guess that's why we have snowboarders.

[hhski]

didnt hear it this year. At alta or snowbird chair infront a hottie was talking to a male friend she said she blacked out not passed out "...when I came to Ihad his dick in my mouth...." after a few curious stares we burst out laughing there were no offers toallow us to rate her skills

[rideit]

so now i guess i have to defend myself. its all direct observation. and this bitch (who wasn't asian, just a stupid bitch) kept asking the same stupid questions over and over again. NO THE BOOT IS NOT TO SMALL. some people just shouldn't ski. i guess that's why we have snowboarders.

You are proving to be quite the ignorant asshole. I bet you are a perfect 'fit' at Hunter. Enjoy.

[hhski]

Man tell me about it, I hate Asians.

"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"

asian in box and then
and then
and then
and then
and then
what exactly do you hate. That you cant touch the hot ones only the nerdy fat ones with little Bros that ask " How are the spatulas working today"

[Jumper Bones]

"I just LOVE Alta, they have the best grooming on earth!"

words spoken by MY FATHER on the chairlift at Crystal. I was embarrassed.

[tomw_n]

so now i guess i have to defend myself. its all direct observation. and this bitch (who wasn't asian, just a stupid bitch) kept asking the same stupid questions over and over again. NO THE BOOT IS NOT TO SMALL. some people just shouldn't ski. i guess that's why we have snowboarders.

Hey, if you ever make it to Utah, give me a call, I'll come and kick the shit out of you

[Squatch]

Man tell me about it, I hate Asians.

"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"
"How are the Spatulas working today?"

Totally confused by this post. What's with the repeating?

[stuckathuntermtn]

yeah, compaired to you guys, i'm a fucking gaper. i wish i could huck of cliffs in the BC. really i do. but when you work in a ski shop in Westchester, it changes you for the worse. as for hunter, i'm asome there, i knocked down a boarder. if i ever get out to the Bird, i'll let you Mags know. but i might move out to the BoZone with my bro (the the ski, my brother) im a little drunk so i'm gonna stop typing now
EDIT: besides, i'm up for a good ass kicking. i've gone off the deep end

[BobMc]

im a little drunk so i'm gonna stop typing now

Don't sell yourself short, you should stop posting even when you're not drunk.

BobMc

[stuckathuntermtn]

i feel so loved

EDIT: i'm going through some shit in my life so i may be a little bitter. got a vaca coming up in june, might make me feel better. go ahead and call me racist, but all my co workers agree: asian customers are the hardest, and they always volunteer me. Russians are the next hardest, and generally, people in westchester need their hand held

[f2f]

stuck, have you considered the fact that in some cultures it's customary to bargain at every transaction? perhaps the problem is not with the customers -- they're simply used to going about buying stuff the long way...

istanbul's giant market is a fantastic place to go see bargaining in action. the russians invade early in the morning, when it's considered bad luck to miss a sale, so they can drive the prices really low

[iggyskier]

This was at Crystal at the end of last season...

Getting onto Green Valley. We had seen this guy around all season. Super oldschool fart bag, beard, old guy that was just charging hilariously down the hill on old ski straight skis.

Honestly...pretty sure this guy lives in the woods up there.

anyway - he is obviously drunk on the chair ride up, but says nothing too notable.

Right at the top, as we are getting off, he turns and says to my friends and me "You're never to drunk for chicken....."

and skis away. Probably one of the funniest things that has ever been said to me. We all lost it as he ripped, texas tuck style, down green valley.

[KANUTTEN]

Me:
Sitting in an egg in e-berg, being quite proud of my new lotus 120's.

50 year old guy with a bogner suit sitting next to me pointing to my skis saying;
"Why do you have so wide skis? To make skiing easier?"

Me;
"Haha, pfha..." Thinking; *No, he is right - that IS the purpose of those skis - he got me*

Now that was a pretty good comment!

[KANUTTEN]

So this whole group of friends were dining at a good restaurant in Engelberg, being served by this obviously gay waiter, Martin. We had all kinds of discussions about how it would be good if Martin got served naked on the table, glazed in a combination of honey and cognac, with a bent wrist and maybe an apple in his mouth. After having finnished the main course, Martin came up to the table with a dessert meny in his hands and asked ronny;

"Do you want something SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET??"

Ronny was unable to do anything but gazing at Martin for 5 seconds, after which the whole table burst out in laughter, and Marting started blushing and had to run out of the room....

Oh my.. at least he got a pretty decent tip.

[itsjust123]

The Summit House at Keystone the second week of March:

These two 30 something dudes ask two ladies (who could easily be my grandma):
"Where are the groomers around here?"

{Grandma 1&2 both laugh}
G1: "I would guess the front side, but we don't go over there...."
G2: "We only ski in the trees."



Now that is core.

[stuckathuntermtn]

totally core. I got a fever and....