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Thread: Quotes from the Chairlift: 05-06 Edition

  1. #1
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    Quotes from the Chairlift: 05-06 Edition

    I hear some pretty funny shit on the chairlift over the course of a season. When I'm a single, loading up with another two, three, or more, the situation is ripe for ridiculous quotes. Sometimes the group I've joined on the chair issues a beauty while continuing a conversation amongst themselves. And sometimes I'm questioned in a way that is absolutely priceless. High comedy.

    Today at A Basin provided a bevy of fine chairlift quotes. But the best was corralled by the wife, as she was a single who rode up silently with a 35ish year old guy and his buddy. A visual is needed -- this guy was just a bit overweight, and sporting a goatee, a camelback, and a weird light blue helmet with swirly designs. It looked suspiciously like an oversized child's helmet.

    The preamble involved alot of claiming, including his plans to ski various OB shots "pretty soon", despite the fact that they're currently only dusted with snow. Various other proclamations of radness were issued, culminating in:

    "I'm the most extreme skier in my office."

    Good stuff. I have a number of questions regarding the size and general demographic of his office. But regardless, mad props to you Mr. Extremo Office Dude.

    Any other priceless chairlift quotes in this young season?

  2. #2
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    That quote is f'in great.

    I had a dude tell me to "raise the bar down" when we got on the lift. I looked at him with a puzzled face and then realized that he wanted the safety bar lowered. Raise it down? He may have been autistic.

  3. #3
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    Loveland last weekend....

    was riding the lift with Max Gosey and some 40something big white guy....we were talking about katrina, which then kinda shifted to minorities ect...

    right before we get off the lift:

    old white guy: "Well, i have been a union worker for 25 years, and I am really getting sick of all the wetbacks coming in and taking our jobs......have a good one"



    hahaha, if only he knew i am colombian......maybe he did know...

  4. #4
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by MOHSHSIHd
    hahaha, if only he knew i am colombian......maybe he did know...
    That's a long swim.

    And I thought you were just big boned...

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh Jass
    "I'm the most extreme skier in my office."
    Priceless!

    If you see him again -- ask him how his latest Extreme Office Skiing Competition went, and where he ranked in the standings.
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  6. #6
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    we werent on the chairlift yet, but i think this should get honorable mention...

    Loveland liftline, snowboarder on my left holding his snowboard in his hands. That's right, walking along with the line with his board.

    Down syndrome boarder: "Umm, can i bring my board on lift or do i need to strap it on?"

    Z: "You're gonna need to put it on"

    Down syndrome boarder: "Oh, okay, i'd rather just hold it"

    Z: "Are you serious, what, are you gonna just run off the lift up top"


  7. #7
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    Red face

    Yesterday -

    Snowboarder comes into the liftline area and sprays EVERYONE.

    "I was surfing"

  8. #8
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    "It's October. You're skiing. You're not allowed to complain about conditions."

    I heard that on my first chair (of the season) and used it the rest of the day..

  9. #9
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    2 college women discussed masculine and feminine Spanish verbs.
    Ski, Bike, Climb.
    Resistence is futile.

  10. #10
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    Teenage Snowboarder: Why do your skis (Superspeeds) have holes in the tips?

    Me: (Thinking quit talking to me little fuck - you see I have my iPod on) Don't know - maybe to damp vibration. Either way I love the skis - very fast.

    Teenage Snowboarder: I'll race you.

    Me: Kicked his ass down the hill.
    "Steve McQueen's got nothing on me" - Clutch

  11. #11
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    From last year from some random guy on a chair riding single : "I don't like skiing at Jackson Hole because it always reains there. It never seems to get cold enough at the base for snow"

    Some people should just keep their mouth shut....

  12. #12
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    Another from last year, at Okemo for the Easy Coast Open. I'm riding up the chair with a family of three. I'm on the right, next to the mom, kid in the middle, dad on the left. The kid sees someone lying on the ground, and someone stops to check and see if the guy is alright. The kid says, "Look Dad. SOmeone stopped to see if that man was alright". To which the dad responded:

    "Yea, someone stopped to see if I was alright once when I fell. I told them Fuck No, I needed more G** Money, now get the fuck away from me"

    If he had been sitting next to me I would have pushed him off the lift.

  13. #13
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    Red face

    Every dork skier on the planet:
    "So you don't come out of that thing?"
    "Is that hard to do?"
    "How long have you been boarding?"

    Dork snowboarders:
    "are you sponsered?"
    "How long have you been boarding?"

    Best thing that I did while on the chair was apply Prep H to my swollen roid. My rome mate was horrified. No words spoken.....

  14. #14
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    "dude, those are some narrow ass snowboards"

  15. #15
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    great thread

  16. #16
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    lat year, March 31st at Alta (you all remember that shit) some guy i was talking to on the lift....i told him i drove out from vail, CO and he proceeded to tell me how he liked Vail alot more than alta cause they had better groomers and restaraunts...

    what the hell?

  17. #17
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    Lightbulb While on the Sublet Quad

    "I'm a cop, you might want to stop doing that!"

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baconzoo
    "I'm a cop, you might want to stop doing that!"
    rockin the ganji ey?

  19. #19
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    One ride up this past weekend, some guy was telling his kid that my Line Darkside skis were "those fat powder skis."



    Sprite
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  20. #20
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    Riding solo at Breck a lot, I hear lots of gaper-isms.

    At least once a year I hear (spoken in a southern/Texan drawl): "The skiing was miserable, it was cold and snowy all day."
    Old's Cool.

  21. #21
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    Some guy asked me where they put the moguls in the summer.

    Wait, that wasn't me.

  22. #22
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    Riding up the lift at Deer Valley around noon, the run below is always moguls on the skiers right side and groomed on the skiers left, which I happened to groom that night, very well I might add . Three beaters on the lift start talking about how shitty the grooming was on that run because it was super bumpy underneath. "That groomer should be fired!"

    I didn't say anything, then a few minutes later they asked me if I was on vacation. I told them no, I work here. "Oh and what do you do?" To which I replied "I am a cat operator, and I groomed that run last night!" I never explained to them that the right side never gets groomed all season long all while they were back tracking like they were just kidding cause they know it's hard to groom.

    I know it wasn't this season but fuck.... I am bored.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman
    Some guy asked me where they put the moguls in the summer.

    Wait, that wasn't me.
    Yeah I heard this dude joking about that on the lift and this guy is all "That's so fucking typical of a beater to say that." And his buddy says, "Yeah they totally make them with the groomer." And his friend laughs at him and says he is a beater for even thinking that."

    Just to make him feel stupid I asked him if he liked the moguls on the run they used for the world cup. "Best moguls on the mountain!" To which I said "Yeah, my buddy cut those moguls with a snowcat. And were did you learn the word 'beater'?"

    True story.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh Jass
    "I'm the most extreme skier in my office."

    Good stuff. I have a number of questions regarding the size and general demographic of his office. But regardless, mad props to you Mr. Extremo Office Dude.

    Any other priceless chairlift quotes in this young season?
    yoink!..
    Remind me. We'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

  25. #25
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    Along the line of Steezus' conversation, a friend of mine who owns a few ski houses at K-mart was riding the lift with a group of kids talking about how wild their party was last night - broken glass, burnt couches, etc. They described the location and it turned out to be one of the houses that my friend was renting out.

    She didn't say anything, but was quick to make some phone calls when the lift ride ended.

    Not this year, of course, but still a good story.

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