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Author Topic: Dropping in... parallel
roll - gybe
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posted July 30, 2002 11:32 AM
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Here I am in school (in a very warm place) and I meet a kid who wants to talk about skiing.
I think it's great that he's into it, and he's telling me immodest stories about cham-i-cham, but then he hits me with a doozie.
"Then there was so much powder we couldn't ski. I dropped in parallel and," (note: this is when the beer began to come out of my nose),"just stuck there."
Thought I'd share. It's 99 degrees here and no low pressure winter storm systems in sight.
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Posts: 19 | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged
vinzclortho
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posted July 30, 2002 11:33 AM
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awww...give the JONG a chance. maybe you can teach him to huck this season. dropping in parallel is pretty burly though. I think Nobis does that kind of stuff..hehe.
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Posts: 102 | From: boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
roll - gybe
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posted July 30, 2002 11:37 AM
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...on a lighter note... an update...
I hit myself in the face with a golf ball last week. Close range, ball prolly going about 65mph. Never thought it would happen. Right in the mouth. Somehow I got very lucky things were not worse.
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Posts: 19 | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged
vinzclortho
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posted July 30, 2002 11:56 AM
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okay, I'll bite. HOW THE HELL DID YOU HIT YOURSELF IN THE MOUTH WITH A GOLF BALL GOING 65 MPH? I'm guessing riccocheted off a rock or something like that. ya didn't lose any teeth? no fat lip? hey, at least you didn't get hit in the huevos.
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Posts: 102 | From: boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
phUnk
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Member # 250
posted July 30, 2002 12:01 PM
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I was at a driving range once, bashing a bucket of balls, when I tipped the ball, it went about 75 degrees away from the intended path of travel, nicked the edge of the dividers they put between each person, got another 15 degrees of angle from that divider, flew over 3 or 4 people, and hit this big dude in the thigh.
Man, I've never done such a "wow, look at my ball fly, that must be about 200 yards" impression as he looked around like "somebody is going to fukking get it and it's going to feel like a golf club going in!"
So funny, I think 2 drops of pee came out.
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Posts: 1698 | From: Slut Lake City, UT | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged
Ald0
unregistered
posted July 30, 2002 12:02 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by roll - gybe:
...on a lighter note... an update...
I hit myself in the face with a golf ball last week. Close range, ball prolly going about 65mph. Never thought it would happen. Right in the mouth. Somehow I got very lucky things were not worse.
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Got a little under that one eh?
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spaz
unregistered
posted July 30, 2002 12:15 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by phUnk:
So funny, I think 2 drops of pee came out.
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Glibbly wiggly peter pan long dong drip drip! Hoo hee haw haw! PEE PEE GOAT CHEESE
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iceman
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posted July 30, 2002 12:15 PM
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I used to play really fast with my brother, we'd just hit and go. He drove, started walking, I drove it right into the back of his skull from about 20 yards.
Boom boom I say OUT GO THE LIGHTS!!!
I thought I killed him.
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Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
roll - gybe
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posted July 30, 2002 01:03 PM
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Ice, when you saw that ball headed at his nog, you must have freaked.
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Posts: 19 | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged
roll - gybe
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posted July 30, 2002 01:14 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by vinzclortho:
okay, I'll bite. HOW THE HELL DID YOU HIT YOURSELF IN THE MOUTH WITH A GOLF BALL GOING 65 MPH? I'm guessing riccocheted off a rock or something like that. ya didn't lose any teeth? no fat lip? hey, at least you didn't get hit in the huevos.
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Ok, this is where I start to sound really stupid.
My ball was 8ft behind this big ass tree, slightly (5") to the left. There was another tree in front of me 20 feet - 7 feet to the left. Beyond that was a sand trap - to avoid this trap, I would need to bend the ball around the tree at 20 feet.
So I'm thinking, "ball back in stance, start the hips a little early."
Standing over the ball, I am totally aware of my lack of good judgement, but this does not dissuade me. Instead, I reassure myself by repeating, "not in the nuts" three times. At this point, I should have known something was up, but I didn't.
I swung, but my swing was much fuller than I wanted - it pushes the ball out to the right as if I'm hitting a full on draw.
I see the ball returning to my face at about 18". It was like the Matrix - the ball was just frozen there. While time was suspended, I thought the following things.
- This could be it
- I'm going to get my face smashed in
- I'm playing with a girl, and this is not cool
- The girl is going to take 2 skins on this hole
- I am going to be disfigured
- This was so dumb, what was my problem?
- I'm going to get my face smashed in
Then POW
I felt nothing, checked my teeth, and pretty much went into shock. I swelled up, and went to the bar with an embarassing bag of ice.
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Posts: 19 | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged
iceman
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posted July 30, 2002 01:18 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by roll - gybe:
Ice, when you saw that ball headed at his nog, you must have freaked.
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Oh, man, you have no idea. I had time to yell "Watch" and then it hit him. Sounded just like an ax hitting a log, TCHUNK! and he went right down. He was out cold for at least five minutes.
edit: damn ubb
We changed how we played after that.
[This message has been edited by iceman (edited 07-30-2002).]
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Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
Buster Highmen
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posted July 30, 2002 01:22 PM
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Full contact golf?
And I thought this full contact parenting thing was dangerous, albeit gooey, enough.
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Posts: 2079 | From: Redmond, WA 98014 | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged
vinzclortho
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posted July 30, 2002 01:23 PM
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I hear ya on the matrix thing. I remember being about 11 years old at the beach and I threw a rock at a bigger rock. the smaller rock came flying right back at my face and seemed to just hang there not moving. That's when I knew I was the one and could broadcast my pirate signal to hack into the matrix and change things as I saw fit....I mean, I dodged the rock. true story. stuck with me this long anyways.
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Posts: 102 | From: boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
lemon boy
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posted July 30, 2002 01:24 PM
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You guys are cracking me up.
Roll- Here's a hint for you. It is ALWAYS BETTER to chunk out onto the fairway than to "goferit!"
ICE-
No shit you changed how you played. Crazy damned story. My bro killed a robin one time (okay, he broke its back but made me ring its neck)
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Posts: 750 | From: Denver, CO - US of A | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged
iceman
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posted July 30, 2002 01:24 PM
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This doesn't have much (okay, nothing) to do with this topic, but:
A long time ago, when you could still smoke in Airports, I got off a plane and was waiting for my luggage by the carousel thing. I pull out a smoke and some matches. Strike the match, and the flaming head flies off - RIGHT INTO THE EAR of the guy standing next to me. I mean, right inside.
I go, "Ummm..."
The guy goes "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" and starts smacking himself in the head, trying to put the fire out. He ran away, still screaming and smacking himself in the head.
Never saw him again.
True story.
[This message has been edited by iceman (edited 07-30-2002).]
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Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
Buster Highmen
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posted July 30, 2002 01:25 PM
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Ah, the sheer, lovely stoopidity of it all...
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Posts: 2079 | From: Redmond, WA 98014 | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged
Owens Never Sleeps
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posted July 30, 2002 01:33 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by iceman:
This doesn't have much (okay, nothing) to do with this topic, but:
A long time ago, when you could still smoke in Airports, I got off a plane and was waiting ofr my luggage by the crousel thing. I pull out a smke and some matches. Strike the match, and the flaming head flies off - RIGHT INTO THE EAR of the guy standing next to me. I mean, right inside.
I go, "Ummm..."
The guy goes "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" and starts smacking himself in the head, trying to put the fire out. He ran away, still screaming and smacking himself in the head.
Never saw him again.
True story.
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That's the funniest shit I've read in a long time. I just about pissed myself. Still laughing.
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Posts: 411 | From: Anchorage, Alaska, USA | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged
vinzclortho
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posted July 30, 2002 01:36 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by iceman:
This doesn't have much (okay, nothing) to do with this topic, but:
A long time ago, when you could still smoke in Airports, I got off a plane and was waiting ofr my luggage by the crousel thing. I pull out a smke and some matches. Strike the match, and the flaming head flies off - RIGHT INTO THE EAR of the guy standing next to me. I mean, right inside.
I go, "Ummm..."
The guy goes "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" and starts smacking himself in the head, trying to put the fire out. He ran away, still screaming and smacking himself in the head.
Never saw him again.
True story.
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dude, you frickin RULE. that is awesome. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard.
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Posts: 102 | From: boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
jibij
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Member # 1308
posted July 30, 2002 01:37 PM
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HOLY CRAP!! i already had tears running down my face when ice's story made me spit my drink on my desk.
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Posts: 813 | From: co | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged
Tyrone Shoelaces
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posted July 30, 2002 01:39 PM
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holy shit ice that's facking hilarious!
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Posts: 1789 | From: Tahoe Summit planning war room. | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged
lemon boy
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posted July 30, 2002 01:45 PM
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Oh God dude- That is one great image. F uckers making me giggle like an ass at work...
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Posts: 750 | From: Denver, CO - US of A | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged
beaver
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Member # 1272
posted July 30, 2002 01:47 PM
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There were 5 of us out golfing. One of the girls really sucked so another was giveing her tips and showing her what to do. The one that sucked is watching the other prep for a shot and decides to step a bit closer behind her to see what she is doing better. I heard this sickening crack as she took the back swing in the head followed immediately by a squeeling scream. The other two girls in the group gathered her up and left for the hospital. Me and Dave looked at each other shrugged and played on.
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Posts: 1029 | From: Kootenays | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged
TeleNateR
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posted July 30, 2002 02:06 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by Tyrone Shoelaces:
holy shit ice that's facking hilarious!
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My new office mate thought I was crying as I tried to supress my giggles.
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Posts: 614 | From: the black pit of anger. | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged
iceman
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posted July 30, 2002 02:14 PM
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In the guy's defense, that's gotta hurt, having a fire inside your head.
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Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
BooYaa13
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posted July 30, 2002 02:36 PM
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ice,
My roommate looked at me like I was an idiot while I was chuckling at the computer screen (as usual).
I showed him the story and he spit all over me from laughing so hard.
True story.
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Posts: 458 | From: Plymouth, MI USA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged
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