About to turn 50 and am too tired to continue

[Bunion 2020]

Well it’s clear I’m not the only one. Hope starting the conversation helps others too.

It does, it did and no you are not.

Peace of mind is not a cheap commodity. Best wishes and thanks for starting this thread.

[Hood26]

Well it’s clear I’m not the only one. Hope starting the conversation helps others too.

It absolutely does. Depression causes us to lean away from connection, but it is connection that is one of the best medicines for depression. Thanks for connecting everyone.

This is more targeted to the “kids these days,” but very much applies to everyone:

https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o?si=h7eaGM3CcrIxRifV

Probably doesn’t need said, but doing the opposite of what is listed is the intent of the video.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

It absolutely does. Depression causes us to lean away from connection, but it is connection that is one of the best medicines for depression. Thanks for connecting everyone.

This is more targeted to the “kids these days,” but very much applies to everyone:

https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o?si=h7eaGM3CcrIxRifV

Probably doesn’t need said, but doing the opposite of what is listed is the intent of the video.

That’s a really good video. Thanks. I sent to some loved ones. Things like this help me relate, I have what is basically ataraxia, been that way since I was a child.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[Foggy_Goggles]

the absence of mental stress or anxiety

Definitions of ataraxis. the absence of mental stress or anxiety. synonyms: heartsease, peace, peace of mind, peacefulness, repose, serenity. type of: quietness, quietude, tranquility, tranquillity. a state of peace and quiet.

Sounds amazing!

[Hood26]

Well it’s clear I’m not the only one. Hope starting the conversation helps others too.

It absolutely does. Depression causes us to lean away from connection, but it is connection that is one of the best medicines for depression. Thanks for connecting everyone.

This is more targeted to the “kids these days,” but very much applies to everyone:

https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o?si=h7eaGM3CcrIxRifV

Probably doesn’t need said, but doing the opposite of what is listed is the intent of the video.

Five Danger Signs are:

1. Withdrawal
2. Hopelessness
3. Poor self-care
4. Personality Change
5. Agitation

Music and art often help me.

Here is a suicide prevention song with a happy resolution:

”You Ain’t No Cowboy,” Jenna Paulette

https://youtu.be/IPNvutKgucY?si=vG6H3iHK9_5g7hIY

Here is a suicide prevention song with a tragic resolution [warning very Tragic]

”Fire Away,” Chris Stapleton

https://youtu.be/ZI-aPHeUDlk?si=dQEqIF5r_7AfMSIk

This thread is a good place to Fire Away! We are here to listen without judgement. Also, just to post again (as others have) Call or Text 988 24/7

My closest friend and partner is going through it now. I appreciate this thread as it is helping me try to help her.

[Core Shot]

Well it’s clear I’m not the only one. Hope starting the conversation helps others too.

It does.
And 50 is the turning point.
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Doesn’t quite thrill like it used to.

Keep on keeping on.

Quitters piss me off.
Suffer alongside me ya bastards.

[Touring_Sedan]

And I found out we have an EAP benefit at work today. Now I gotta actually try to calm them.

It’s a lot easier to talk when everyone is asleep.
I hate this shit.

I used my EAP at the end of last year through Carebridge. It was easy AF. I did have to make an old school phone call to initiate everything, I got the impression they were checking to see if there was an immediate crisis. After that, the rest of our comms were via email. They sent me a list of providers and I just googled each one until I found one that seemed to fit the bill. (FWIW, maybe it's a Utah thing, but more than half of them were couples counselors.) The company paid for three visits and I spread them over three months. I plan on figuring out how I can make this a more permanent part of my routine. I get the impression the EAP is just to stave off any type of immediate crisis.

It's good to see folks openly talking about this shit. I've spent a bit of my career telling the stories of those who have struggled with substance abuse. I'd like to think most people feel much more free to talk about their addictions without the same shame that existed a few years ago.

I'm now trying to tell the stories of those who are working in the mental health space. I hope we can get to the same level of openness about it.

It's ok to not be ok.

[Mazderati]

Are you guys vetting your therapists/counselors/shrinks? If so, how?

[AK47bp]

Also gonna add in more short walks outside throughout the day - even if just for 4-5 minutes - maybe reach for the door instead of my phone screen.

Baby steps!

This is why dogs are great. Many days I don’t feel like walking outside but then that cute fucker looks at me and I’m overcome with guilt and walk him.

[KQ]

Sorry I missed this Buzz. Hope things are a little lighter for you now.

As others have said, we're here for you and we are listening. You don't have to carry this burden alone.

((((((Hugs)))))

[Touring_Sedan]

Are you guys vetting your therapists/counselors/shrinks? If so, how?

It was kind of a mess but I was able to aggregate reviews from Healthgrades, Google, Yelp, and my insurance providers portal. It was a bit of work, but I was able to find someone who I was able to associate with.

[funkendrenchman]

Hang in there Buzz... there are so many amazing things to do and and see in this world. There's always a reason to go on, even if you can't see it right now.

[detrusor]

I’m sorry I missed this thread earlier. I have battled depression my whole life, got really bad a few years ago…pretty sure no one really knew. I went to my doc and got some pharmaceutical help plus talking with an amazing therapist saved my life. Not might have saved it but saved it. People who have not experienced this cannot fathom the pain and hopelessness…others said what do you have to be depressed about? Health, family, career…you doing great. Doesn’t matter.

I’m in PC and totally open to getting together on bikes or skis (probably have to wait for me). Shoot me a PM if you want.

[Mazderati]

It was kind of a mess but I was able to aggregate reviews from Healthgrades, Google, Yelp, and my insurance providers portal. It was a bit of work, but I was able to find someone who I was able to associate with.

Yeah, that's a hassle but seems common.

[Huskier]

Are you guys vetting your therapists/counselors/shrinks? If so, how?

I'm having trouble with this too. In my area no one qualified is taking new patients, instead there are a million "Mental health companies" that farm you out to a telehealth "Doctor " nurse practitioner with an online degree. And it was my PCP who sold me out to these assembly lines.

I've been struggling recently, hard. It got to the point where my wife connected me with a private family MD that I have to pay cash to manage my meds. No therapy or insight, just meds.

If anyone knows anyone in the wet far upper left they can recommend PM me.

[Touring_Sedan]

I'm having trouble with this too. In my area no one qualified is taking new patients, instead there are a million "Mental health companies" that farm you out to a telehealth "Doctor " nurse practitioner with an online degree.

I've been struggling recently, hard. It got to the point where my wife connected me with a private MD that I have to pay cash to manage my meds. No therapy or insight, just meds.

If anyone knows anyone in the wet far upper left they can recommend PM me.

Keep digging. My provider originally gave me a list of 30-40 doctors in my area. All of them were either booked or weren't taking new clients. Some wanted me to wait 3 months. When I contacted my provider, they made a few calls and found me a doctor with availability within a week.

[Trackhead]

I've been struggling recently, hard. It got to the point where my wife connected me with a private family MD that I have to pay cash to manage my meds. No therapy or insight, just meds.

That's essentially all we can offer you in the primary care setting, and a referral to mental health professional with zero guarantee on timeliness of appointment or availability. It's not the fault of the PCP, there is just a horrible lack of mental health practitioners and counselors what seems like nationwide. It's as frustrating for us, as it is for our patients.

FWIW telemed psychiatry/counseling is an accepted format and frequently utilized. Our psychiatrist at our facility does all cases for use remotely, via telemed. Same for our integrated behavioral health program.

[Danno]

Yeah, occasionally you can "research" providers but that's somewhat rare. Referrals from people you trust are obviously good, but this is such a taboo subject that it is often hard to go that route. Sometimes you just have to start somewhere, find someone taking new patients that you can afford (either because they take your insurance or are relatively affordable). So, you try that person out and see if they work for you. It's horribly inefficient but what are the options?

Also, don't be afraid to ask about sliding scale rates if you are paying out of pocket and the cost is too high.

[Buzzworthy]

I'm having trouble with this too. In my area no one qualified is taking new patients, instead there are a million "Mental health companies" that farm you out to a telehealth "Doctor " nurse practitioner with an online degree. And it was my PCP who sold me out to these assembly lines.

I've been struggling recently, hard. It got to the point where my wife connected me with a private family MD that I have to pay cash to manage my meds. No therapy or insight, just meds.

If anyone knows anyone in the wet far upper left they can recommend PM me.

Im sending you a pm with the name of a psychologist that my wife worked with for years here in SLC. She’s now in Seabeck. Maybe she can help.

Yes my wife is a psychologist. And for me, that presents its own challenges. Its a tough one as I’ve met many of the professionals here over the last 20 years and I can’t see them due to a conflict of interest.

Thank you for also asking for help. It’s so damn difficult to do. I know that hurt and I’m pulling for you too.

[Trackhead]

Yes my wife is a psychologist. And for me, that presents its own challenges. Its a tough one as I’ve met many of the professionals here over the last 20 years and I can’t see them due to a conflict of interest.

That seems odd. What is the conflict? Standard patient confidentiality obviously should supersede any "conflict of interest".

[Touring_Sedan]

That seems odd. What is the conflict? Standard patient confidentiality obviously should supersede any "conflict of interest".

Dude, seriously? Do you want to talk about deeply personal issues with someone you've shared drinks with at the Christmas party? Fuck no.

[Buzzworthy]

I don’t know, that’s just what I hear being said. Maybe they just don’t want to see me.

[Buzzworthy]

Dude, seriously? Do you want to talk about deeply personal issues with someone you've shared drinks with at the Christmas party? Fuck no.

It’s Intermountain. There are no drinks. Budget was spent on new colors. Don’t get me started.

[Touring_Sedan]

It’s Intermountain. There are no drinks. Budget was spent on new colors. Don’t get me started.

Their new logo looks like a party clowns attempt at a shitty balloon giraffe.

[Trackhead]

Dude, seriously? Do you want to talk about deeply personal issues with someone you've shared drinks with at the Christmas party? Fuck no.

I work in healthcare, and "share drinks" with providers who have treated me in the past and present. In small towns, this is unavoidable. "Personal issues" are implicit in healthcare, and any healthcare professional is obligated to listen, treat, maintain professionalism, and patient privacy by law.

If I'm covering ER and someone I "share drinks with" comes in with a rectal foreign body. I take it out, discharge them, and say nothing. Professional obligation.

I take care of coworkers and hear their personal stories all the time. It doesn't influence my relationship with them at all. I live in a small town and have seen most of the town in the ER or clinic at one time or another. Some are friends. I don't refuse to treat them.