You know you’re in a dive bar when…

[BmillsSkier]

Right? As with anything, there are shades of gray.

Does the fact that a few normal people (maybe like us) venture in to drink among the destitute, that they offer imported swill alongside the domestic, that the owner may have actually paid to lift the bar one cold winter day to get the dead rats stuck under it out of there; none of that makes it less of a dive, just a dive that’s aspirational.

[anotherVTskibum]

Caveat: this is based on when I lived there a few years back

Blue Ribbon Bar, Red Lodge, MT
- cash only ("do you take plastic?" *Nods* *places order, tries to hand card* *bartender points to ATM with $5 surcharge*), cash register only (no computerized POS)
- named after PBR
- one window, mostly blocked on the inside
- probably the cheapest drinks in town
- gluten-free options are all distilled
- dartboard and single pool table

Snag Bar, also Red Lodge
- mystery as to how they still have a liquor license
- if the owner is tending bar, he'll always pour another drink when you're close to done and add it to your tab, no ordering required; actual house tabs are available and used by locals, but the math always seems to be skewed towards the house
- at closing time, he walks down the bar dumping drinks into plastic cups
- small hole in tin ceiling reported to be from a bullet
- 6pm crowd is scarier than the 1am crowd

Both have back patio areas for smoking with alley entrances should you not want to come or go by the front door

[joetron]

Waterfront Tavern in Bellingham would probably qualify as a dive bar I think. I doubt many other dives that can claim as many legitimate serial killers as their clientele. Ted Bundy, Hillside Strangler Kenneth Bianchi, and alleged D. C. sniper John Muhammad to name a few.

I ended up here one night during a Kona Dealer Launch about 11 years ago. A bunch of us bike dorks roll in on a Tuesday night, and got stared down by the sketchiest looking poker game going on at a table in the back of the room.
I thought we were all getting stabbed. Definitely made a huge effort to not look over and for fucks sake DO NOT make eye contact. Seemed like a bunch of dudes who did not want to be seen.


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[ghosthop]

Feel like Dundalk would be hard to beat here.

I would bet that more members of this board have passed through Libby than through Dundalk but this place never fails to disappoint. There is something about an urban redneck with a boat in brackish water that brings out the best in everyone.

I’ve spent my fair share of time in bars in non-gentrified Baltimore and rural Montana and none of them bring fear like being the only white guy in a place. A dive never struck me as a place to be afraid, just somewhere to keep my head down and my mouth shut.

[XXX-er]

Heh. That’s like calling the local legion a dive. Crossing a community hall with a bar does not make it a dive, despite the basic offerings of refreshment. And the rule to take your hat off.
IMO.

And if you are attending either the local Elks or Legion for drinks, you are in that other thread. Something about old fucks something something.

Working the door at the legion for an alternative radio station gig is where i caught covid when a hockey tournament showd up, a bunch of fuckers but they sure drank a lot, we had to thro out several drunks including the coach

Still the legion is a great venue to run punk/ alternative gigs

lotsa pictures on the wall of old dead locals from WWII its all just so Canadian eh

BTW the Hilltop is gone so it limits the available venues

[boltonoutlaw]

6 pages in and not a single Beantown dive mentioned. I am disappointed

[neufox47]

People claiming Pittsburgh / Pennsylvania is the dive bar capitol need to slow your roll. You might be capital of the minors but Wisconsin and the upper Midwest is the majors. Get back to me when minors are allowed to legally drink in your state if they are with a parent.

Also, some of these places are way too nice. A dive bar does not have the best burger. It doesn’t have the best of anything except booze prices.


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[Ted Striker]

Bingo. Targy’s.

I seldom go to QAH, but as you were telling the story I was like hey wait, I think I've been there (once). I google mapped where I thought it was, and sure enough, that was the place. Although we didn't have any interactions with colorful locals.

[Ted Striker]

Waterfront Tavern in Bellingham would probably qualify as a dive bar I think. I doubt many other dives that can claim as many legitimate serial killers as their clientele. Ted Bundy, Hillside Strangler Kenneth Bianchi, and alleged D. C. sniper John Muhammad to name a few.

The Waterfront is definitely a dive (even though it has windows and IPAs) because it doesn't try to be. It just is. Also pull tabs, which is de rigueur for a proper dive (along with carpet).

I can't remember the last time I stopped in, but couldn't count how many times I've been there. Some friends and I used to have a tradition of meeting there for late night drinks after having Christmas dinners with our various parents and relatives. (open xmas is another solid indication of divyness)

[cat in january]

In Portland, Me on commercial street there were three bars side by side known as the three doors of death. They were frequented by a local motorcycle gang and fishermen with large quantities of cash in their pockets. I only dropped in a few times, but heard many stories about the drugs that went down in the bars.

[TAFKALVS]

Can someone explain to me why you would want to go to one of these places?

[m2711c]

no.

[halliday]

In Portland, Me on commercial street there were three bars side by side known as the three doors of death. They were frequented by a local motorcycle gang and fishermen with large quantities of cash in their pockets. I only dropped in a few times, but heard many stories about the drugs that went down in the bars.

The Sail Loft was one of them. They had dollar Schaffer draughts and a cheap cigarette machine. You could go In with a $20.00 bill, tie one on, buy a couple for your buddy and have enough left over for a pack of smokes for the walk home. We used to close the Sail Loft then go to Ruski's on the west end for the third shift happy hour.

[cat in january]

You’re talking my language there, yup bartender at Ruskis had some sort of a huge growth on his neck.

You’re talking my language there, yup bartender at Ruskis had some sort of a huge growth on his neck.

The one I frequented in town more was at the bottom of India street. It had an Irish name, O’Sullivans or something, big jar of pickled eggs on the counter. Used to watch Celtics games there. Bar and building are long gone.

[xyz]

but Wisconsin and the upper Midwest is the majors.

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Hmm. Yeah. I spent a summer in the Michigan UP. THE bar in town was roouggh. Waitresses would turn into strippers. And it’s wasn’t a strip bar.

The bar tender would purposefully get you extra skulled to over charge your credit card or short change you.

[neufox47]

After WI banned smoking in bars they allowed for the bar to have a separate room to smoke in. One of the nocer bars in my home town built a room, in the middle of the bar area, out of particle board. It was maybe 8x12 and had gaps all over. You used to be able to see smoke oozing out of the corners on busy nights. People used to joke that you could just walk in therefor a few minutes and get a nicotine fix. It made smokers smell that much worse.


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[skaredshtles]

Hmm. Yeah. I spent a summer in the Michigan UP. THE bar in town was roouggh.

Just out of curiosity... what town were you in?

[xyz]

Just out of curiosity... what town were you in?

White Pine!

[skaredshtles]

White Pine!

Very nice - did a spring backpacking trip through the Porkies way back in the early 90's. Pretty country up there...

[xyz]

Very nice - did a spring backpacking trip through the Porkies way back in the early 90's. Pretty country up there...

Yeah. It is. Lake Superior is so big it feels like a beach vacation. The porkiy forests were super beautiful too. A better place to hang out than the dive bars.

[Art Shirk]

Can someone explain to me why you would want to go to one of these places?

Dives are an escape from the daily grind of the acceptable social strata. They exist a level below the normal, where we are burdened by putting on our best face, saying the things we need to say, wearing what we need to wear for the moment. Everyone in a dive chose to be there instead of some place that specifically chose a lighting concept, or named a drink based on market research instead of a best friend or funny story. Great stories in the corners of everyone’s minds but the expectation that those remain hidden unless you actually connect with someone and they truly want to share, not because they have to because they are “out.” The music is a reflection of that bar’s ethos which makes it good even when it’s bad. Each one is fun to unwrap. They always share the common threads but it sure is a blast to walk into one to witness whatever unique brand of “fuck it” is occurring. Their mere existence is a testament to overcoming external pressures and then bucking them.


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[Meadow Skipper]

Hmm. Yeah. I spent a summer in the Michigan UP. THE bar in town was roouggh. Waitresses would turn into strippers. And it’s wasn’t a strip bar.

That reminded me of this one bar in Eureka CA where the waitress got up on a platform and do a quick strip dance - quick probably because the place was pretty cold. Anyway, her boyfriend was sitting at the bar glaring at everyone and if you looked at the woman too long he’d yell “What are you looking at?” and try to start a fight.

I’m pretty sure that was a dive bar, though I don’t remember if there were pickled eggs.

[cravenmorhead]

Are meat raffles a thing outside of MN/WI? They're certainly dive bar adjacent.

[exsparky]

Can someone explain to me why you would want to go to one of these places?

I've been tricked into going into Mexican and Laotian dive bars.

The Laotian one was an ex grocery store / illegal bar / gambling house and I got a lap dance from my buddies sister in law. I think I was the first white guy in the place in several months. I was and not was not welcomed for 3 hours.

They spoke more English than in the Mexican bars. All of them were about 20 minutes apart.

My friends look like the united colors of Benetton for some reason.

[BmillsSkier]

Dives are an escape from the daily grind of the acceptable social strata. They exist a level below the normal, where we are burdened by putting on our best face, saying the things we need to say, wearing what we need to wear for the moment. Everyone in a dive chose to be there instead of some place that specifically chose a lighting concept, or named a drink based on market research instead of a best friend or funny story. Great stories in the corners of everyone’s minds but the expectation that those remain hidden unless you actually connect with someone and they truly want to share, not because they have to because they are “out.” The music is a reflection of that bar’s ethos which makes it good even when it’s bad. Each one is fun to unwrap. They always share the common threads but it sure is a blast to walk into one to witness whatever unique brand of “fuck it” is occurring. Their mere existence is a testament to overcoming external pressures and then bucking them.


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Right? It's the stories. It's the wide range of people from different classes, backgrounds, fields, and families. It's the great leveler in society - the desire to go somewhere, not be consumed with the bullshit and have a drink or ten.

The man at the bar who's doing his best to be dead from consumption by 45 is on equal footing with the state congressman and his not-wife in the corner pleather booth. The coke dealer in his usual barstool gets the same treatment from the bartender that he gives to the group of young professionals shooting pool. The regulars view each other as family and the fact that the bar exists is probably one of a handful of things keeping them hanging on in life. The dive is an ecosystem all on its own and its fine that way; probably the reason so few have windows to the world outside - it's safer in there for its denizens, and probably vice versa unless one of them gets behind the wheel.