The Nest, she is empty…

[Brownski]

Yeah, I understand where you’re coming from but I don’t think you’re an empty nester yet. They’re coming home for summers and one of them is close enough that she’ll be dropping by for food, laundry etc. In fact you may have jinxed yourself with this thread. Isn’t kids moving back home after college still a thing?

[XXX-er]

I watched a GF get really fucked up (Tears & drama) over her oldest going off to uni

When I dropped my youngest at U of A with some clothes a TV / computer/ bar fridge I told him i wasnt gona tell him to be good but pointed out all these people will be your peers if you do something stupid

also an engineer should know what a good beer tastes like

at convocation they had a big collection of euro-beer cans

[yeahman]

Eh mine came home this weekend and we enjoy her company all the time. Being an only child she always has hung with us. And now that she’s older she’s our friend.
Being so damn close, she’ll be home a lot. Only thing I can bitch about is the dishes. Still leaves em in the sink like she did when she was 5. At least rinse them out please. Cmon.

Try putting the dirty dishes in her bed. It'll fix that problem right quick.

[singlecross]

We’re first time empty nesters later this week when we drop both kids off to their schools. I’m going to try adventure travel and more sex, supplemented with an uptick in cannabis use, for both my wife and me.

I’ve planned a weeklong coastal cruise on our boat for our first week to keep my wife out of a quiet house. Also planning 6 week ski trip this Winter in our camper.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Oh, a clean kitchen sounds nice too…

[seano732]

We’re first time empty nesters later this week when we drop both kids off to their schools. I’m going to try adventure travel and more sex, supplemented with an uptick in cannabis use, for both my wife and me.

I’ve planned a weeklong coastal cruise on our boat for our first week to keep my wife out of a quiet house. Also planning 6 week ski trip this Winter in our camper.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Oh, a clean kitchen sounds nice too…

Clearly this is the way.

[seano732]

Try putting the dirty dishes in her bed. It'll fix that problem right quick.

Been there, done exactly that.

[SumJongGuy]

This. You're lucky if you have 20 good years left, so get the fuck out there and start ticking all the stuff off your bucket list that you couldn't do when you had kids!!

Thing is this is only Phase I of empty nest.. and it's actually more expensive than high school was. a LOT more expensive. The Bucket List shit ain't happening until the LAST kid is done with college. The discussions about money with the spouse are still stressful. Every college mishap every unexpected summer session sucks money beyond the college savings and out of that bucket list end of the rainbow pot.

It's all totally worth it though.

[Ted Striker]

[yeahman]

Thing is this is only Phase I of empty nest.. and it's actually more expensive than high school was. a LOT more expensive. The Bucket List shit ain't happening until the LAST kid is done with college. The discussions about money with the spouse are still stressful. Every college mishap every unexpected summer session sucks money beyond the college savings and out of that bucket list end of the rainbow pot.

It's all totally worth it though.

Bucket list stuff does not need to be expensive. It's more about having the time free of any child-related obligations.

[fatnslow]

We’re first time empty nesters later this week when we drop both kids off to their schools. I’m going to try adventure travel and more sex, supplemented with an uptick in cannabis use, for both my wife and me.

I’ve planned a weeklong coastal cruise on our boat for our first week to keep my wife out of a quiet house. Also planning 6 week ski trip this Winter in our camper.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Oh, a clean kitchen sounds nice too…

What dating site are you planning on using ?

[singlecross]

What dating site are you planning on using ?

TGR

[Lvovsky]

Nice

[Lvovsky]

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/...nest-syndrome#

Summary:

- Empty nest syndrome refers to the grief that many parents feel when their children move out of home. This condition is typically more common in women, who are more likely to have had the role of primary carer. Unlike the grief experienced when (for example) a loved one dies, the grief of empty nest syndrome often goes unrecognised, because an adult child moving out of home is seen as a normal, healthy event. Upset parents may find few sources of support (e.g. TGR) or sympathy (e.g. TGR). In many cases, empty nest syndrome is compounded by other difficult life events or significant changes happening around the same time, such as retirement or menopause.
- ...
- Seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed

Oof… It’ll get better, Seano.

[seano732]

Gold, Jerry, gold….

[seano732]

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/...nest-syndrome#

Summary:

- Empty nest syndrome refers to the grief that many parents feel when their children move out of home. This condition is typically more common in women, who are more likely to have had the role of primary carer. Unlike the grief experienced when (for example) a loved one dies, the grief of empty nest syndrome often goes unrecognised, because an adult child moving out of home is seen as a normal, healthy event. Upset parents may find few sources of support (e.g. TGR) or sympathy (e.g. TGR). In many cases, empty nest syndrome is compounded by other difficult life events or significant changes happening around the same time, such as retirement or menopause.
- ...
- Seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed

Oof… It’ll get better, Seano.

Thank you for that. The Mrs. is crying as I type.

[huckbucket]

Our oldest daughter graduated college last May and now officially moved out of the house and into another city. That hurt a little more than they day she left for college. Sorry man, but you've got that to look forward to. Our other, younger daughter is also in college in SD (junior although she's studying abroad this semester). That first Sept three ago sucked. I'm WFH and the house is so empty. Then when our two dogs died a year and a half ago, shit got even more real. No recommendations other than to plan lots of quick visits to see them. The girls will like it and it'll get you short fixes.

[Harry]

[Lvovsky]

Thank you for that. The Mrs. is crying as I type.

You know what to do. Be near. Hug. Listen. Share. Offer support rather than solutions.

We’re here for you.

[riser4]

Yeah, I understand where you’re coming from but I don’t think you’re an empty nester yet. They’re coming home for summers and one of them is close enough that she’ll be dropping by for food, laundry etc. In fact you may have jinxed yourself with this thread. Isn’t kids moving back home after college still a thing?

This. It's only phase 1. It is still quite a change. We've been through a whole bunch of combinations of the three kids being away, being home, going away. Unexpected issues come up. Thing #1 came home for a while after the second bachelor's due to medical issues. And we're still loosely tethered.

Classes start at UVM today for Thing #2. I'll be alone during the day again. It's been a little while since that happened on a regular basis. Thing #3 is happy to be away at school.

[EWG]

When our second kid left we also found it bafflingly hard. We have become great friends with both our kids as they transitioned from little kids to adults. We bike and ski and backpack and surf and play sports and everything else together and we all have an awesome time. So when they were actually both out the door at college we had lost our little kids, our amazing older kids, and our playmates. Incredibly rough. But within a few days my wife and I started to feel the stuff we used to feel many years ago when it was just us - the friendship, the commonality of purpose, being in love. It was wild - it was like we were 25 and dating again. Pretty amazing. Still very sad at times, but getting to throw back to your twenties dating this person you love was a pretty good consolation prize. We have such a good time together.

And then you understand that this is the way it's supposed to be. My son is a senior in college, and when he was home this summer he was so incredible to have around - such an interesting, engaged, kind, funny, energetic, cool guy - but you could tell it was borrowed time. No matter how much we all enjoyed it, we all knew it wasn't meant to last. He's supposed to be out on his own now. It hurts but it's right.

I put this in the college thread which is too much work for you (ha) but just before she headed back to school a couple weeks ago we did a multiday backpacking trip, just my daughter and I. It's both something I'll cherish forever and at the same time was joltingly painful when we came back to reality and she left the next day. Still hurts when I really think about it two weeks later. But it's a beautiful hurt.

Now's your time to be back in love with your spouse. Be sad and miss your kids, but at the same time date your spouse again. Realize how much time you have to spend on things you love. Enjoy an easier time in your life. And watch them grow and explode into the awesome people you taught them they could be.

It gets much easier, but it never gets easy. And that's what makes it's beautiful, right? And in the meantime, your life is yours again, which gives you a million possibilities, just like you had 25 years ago.

[huckbucket]

^^

very cool!

[Danno]

Damn, EWG...

[Harry]

When our second kid left we also found it bafflingly hard. We have become great friends with both our kids as they transitioned from little kids to adults. We bike and ski and backpack and surf and play sports and everything else together and we all have an awesome time. So when they were actually both out the door at college we had lost our little kids, our amazing older kids, and our playmates. Incredibly rough. But within a few days my wife and I started to feel the stuff we used to feel many years ago when it was just us - the friendship, the commonality of purpose, being in love. It was wild - it was like we were 25 and dating again. Pretty amazing. Still very sad at times, but getting to throw back to your twenties dating this person you love was a pretty good consolation prize. We have such a good time together.

And then you understand that this is the way it's supposed to be. My son is a senior in college, and when he was home this summer he was so incredible to have around - such an interesting, engaged, kind, funny, energetic, cool guy - but you could tell it was borrowed time. No matter how much we all enjoyed it, we all knew it wasn't mean to last. He's supposed to be out on his own now. It's hurts but it's right.

I put this in the college thread which is too much work for you (ha) but just before she headed back to school a couple weeks ago I did a multiday backpacking trip, just my daughter and I. It's both something I'll cherish forever and at the same time was joltingly painful when we came back to reality and she left the next day. Still hurts when I really think about it two weeks later. But it's a beautiful hurt.

Now's your time to be back in love with your spouse. Be sad and miss your kids, but at the same time date your spouse again. Realize how much time you have to spend on things you love. Enjoy an easier time in your life. And watch them grow and explode into the awesome people you taught them they could be.

It gets much easier, but it never get easy. And that's what makes it's beautiful, right? And in the meantime, your life is yours again, which gives you a million possibilities, just like you had 25 years ago.

This is by far the most inspiring post I have ever read on TGR.

Thanks for posting this.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[Meadow Skipper]

If you think it’s hard sending ‘em off to college, just wait until afterwards when they start moving on with careers and/or serious relationships and/or having your grandchildren…or not.

IME that generates some deep, dark contemplation at the very least.

Nice one, EWG.

[californiagrown]

You shut your whore mouth.

Woah, woah, woah there buddy. I said that trying for Thing #3 would be a great way to pass the time and take his mind of the empty nest. I never said anything about actually having another kid!