Sharks, man

[Rideski]

dick.

That's sexist.

[BmillsSkier]

I’ll bite (see what I did there?); I’ll let m27 speak for himself Buzz, but I read his comment to be related to the contrast between “he caught a shark” and “they made him throw it back”. Who is they if he caught the fish?

Y’all have at it, let me know when we can talk Quint origin story again.

[Buzzworthy]

Hopefully that’s the case. Too many idiots out there these days being phobes. It’s been particularly bad today reading other parts of the internet.

[TBS]

…Second one was off the north shore of Oahu. My wife had booked us a swimming with sharks boat trip for my birthday, but when we got there the waves were too big for the boat to go out. One of the workers pointed to a group of high school looking kids and said, "they'll take you out, but don't tell my boss," so we headed out into ocean with a couple of surfer girls. We turned out to be the only boat dumb enough to go out, and we all got seasick along the way, but we had a few dozen sharks circling the boat while we swam cage free with them. One of the coolest experiences of my life. The scariest part was seeing 10-15 dorsal fins circling the boat and having the guide go "jump in!" Once you're in with them it's actually super peaceful.

Diving at Molokini Crater once with a newlywed couple. We got to the bottom and there were bunches of 8’ sharks cruising around. Nothing to worry about because shark food doesn’t have bubbles coming out of their head.

The bride didn’t know that I guess, as on first sighting she jumped onto the groom’s back and did her best to keep him between her and any shark she saw. Fuckin hilarious.

[scmartin69]

Baby shark
Duh....duh....duh.

https://youtu.be/XqZsoesa55w

Fuuuuck you had to go there...

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[scmartin69]

Diving at Molokini Crater once with a newlywed couple. We got to the bottom and there were bunches of 8’ sharks cruising around. Nothing to worry about because shark food doesn’t have bubbles coming out of their head.

The bride didn’t know that I guess, as on first sighting she jumped onto the groom’s back and did her best to keep him between her and any shark she saw. Fuckin hilarious.

Only ever seen like 4 footers there... Still kinda eerie though.

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[mcski]

I’ll bite
Y’all have at it, let me know when we can talk Quint origin story again.

Anyway, we delivered the bomb

[Supermoon]

Diving at Molokini Crater once with a newlywed couple. We got to the bottom and there were bunches of 8’ sharks cruising around. Nothing to worry about because shark food doesn’t have bubbles coming out of their head.

The bride didn’t know that I guess, as on first sighting she jumped onto the groom’s back and did her best to keep him between her and any shark she saw. Fuckin hilarious.

That’s awesome. One day that moment will come up in their marriage counseling sessions. Sharks are really just like the dogs of the ocean. Nothing really to worry about as long as you are calm and confident. Dolphins are the real assholes.

[scmartin69]

That’s awesome. One day that moment will come up in their marriage counseling sessions. Sharks are really just like the dogs of the ocean. Nothing really to worry about as long as you are calm and confident. Dolphins are the real assholes.

So long and thanks for all the fish...

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[BmillsSkier]

Anyway, we delivered the bomb

That whole monologue is so damned good it’s worth posting:

“[the three men are comparing their scars]
Brody: What's that one?
Quint: What?
Brody: That one, there, on your arm.
Quint: Oh, uh, that's a tattoo, I got that removed.
Hooper: Don't tell me, don't tell me..."Mother."
[he roars with laughter]
Hooper: What is it...
[Quint solemnly clamps a hand on Hooper's arm]
Quint: Mr. Hooper, that's the USS Indianapolis.
[Hooper immediately stops laughing]
Hooper: You were on the Indianapolis?
Brody: What happened?
Quint: Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Heh.
[he pauses and takes a drink]
Quint: They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. Y'know, it's... kinda like ol' squares in a battle like, uh, you see in a calendar, like the Battle of Waterloo, and the idea was, shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin', and sometimes the shark'd go away... sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. Y'know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then... oh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin', the ocean turns red, and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces.
[he pauses]
Quint: Y'know, by the end of that first dawn... lost a hundred men. I dunno how many sharks. Maybe a thousand. I dunno how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland- baseball player, boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up... bobbed up and down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. Young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and come in low and three hours later, a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. Y'know, that was the time I was most frightened, waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a life jacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water, three hundred sixteen men come out, and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.
[he pauses, smiles, and raises his glass]
Quint: Anyway... we delivered the bomb.”

[bagtagley]

Interesting timing, we’re going to a Jaws movie party tomorrow.

We’ll be on the NC coast in a couple weeks. At this point I’m more worried about sea lice keeping us out of the water. That might change as we get closer, but I’m comforted knowing there will be plenty of plump New Jerseyians acting as a shark safety buffer.

[BmillsSkier]

Interesting timing, we’re going to a Jaws movie party tomorrow.

We’ll be on the NC coast in a couple weeks. At this point I’m more worried about sea lice keeping us out of the water. That might change as we get closer, but I’m comforted knowing there will be plenty of plump New Jerseyians acting as a shark safety buffer.

That’s funny, is it a big Jaws anniversary or something this year? I’ve seen a lot of Jaws T-shirts that I don’t remember seeing last summer.

I showed the movie to my son on the way to the beach the other week (as is tradition when I was growing up); his first time seeing it. There was a noticeable hesitation before running down to the waterline when we got there then he said something hilarious about mechanical sharks being fake and funny and got right in.

He leaves for camp for a month on the NC coast next week, what’s this about sea lice?

[bagtagley]

We’ve dealt with them the past two summers. Luckily they seem to come in waves so it’s not constant but it meant a couple of days where the wife and kids didn’t get in the water. No idea what brings them or what the pattern is, I just know they suck (for the family, I feel the little stings but they don’t bother me that much).

[m2711c]

Hopefully that’s the case. Too many idiots out there these days being phobes. It’s been particularly bad today reading other parts of the internet.

dude, this ain’t other parts of the internet. cool that hair trigger on yer outrage…

I’ll bite (see what I did there?); I’ll let m27 speak for himself Buzz, but I read his comment to be related to the contrast between “he caught a shark” and “they made him throw it back”. Who is they if he caught the fish?

Y’all have at it, let me know when we can talk Quint origin story again.

yes, your story made it sound like somebody forced the kid to throw the fish back. so, the question was, who made him throw the fish back?

[Bunion 2020]

Breaking news. Fish with teeth bite humans in an ironic turn of events.

[Timberridge]

the question was, who made him throw the fish back?

Lesbians.

[Woodsy]

“they”?

Hes 9 and was on a fishing charter with my dad, and a few other dad/son pairs off Amelia Island .

He kept and ate the whiting he caught, but the Hammerhead was young so the captain/guide suggested throwing it back

[Timberridge]

The captain/guide. Was she a lesbian?

That's a bonnet head shark btw. They get maybe 3 ft long-ish.

[BmillsSkier]

Lots of bonnet heads in the marsh. There's a cleaning table at one of my favorite docks and I swear there's 20 of those things just waiting for a free meal under there at all times.

Went on a bit of a deep dive reading about the Indianapolis last night and apparently the oceanic white tip is one nasty fucking fish. Apparently even Cousteau thought so.

[Skistack]

Parents took my brother and I to see Jaws in the theater when it came out.

Next trip to Florida we never went in the water.


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[Timberridge]

Went on a bit of a deep dive reading about the Indianapolis last night and apparently the oceanic white tip is one nasty fucking fish. Apparently even Cousteau thought so.

I watched a shark week program about them. Rather solitary open ocean fish so less is known about them compared to others but there's an area off the Bahamas where they congregate. Two guys pretended to be shipwrecked but had a cage to go in if things got too hairy. The white tips would circle the guys in the water never leaving them alone and occasionaly if their back was turned to one, it would come in and try to attack. Basically the conclusion was, if you were floating in the ocean and a white tip was around, you were doomed.

[BmillsSkier]

I watched a shark week program about them. Rather solitary open ocean fish so less is known about them compared to others but there's an area off the Bahamas where they congregate. Two guys pretended to be shipwrecked but had a cage to go in if things got too hairy. The white tips would circle the guys in the water never leaving them alone and occasionaly if their back was turned to one, it would come in and try to attack. Basically the conclusion was, if you were floating in the ocean and a white tip was around, you were doomed.

See, now that's the kind of nightmare fuel you need when you're miles out to sea and wonder what happens if it all goes to shit out here.

[bagtagley]

Not to take anything away from the white tip, but my takeaway from the most recent doc I heard on the Indy was that humans, exposure, and humans after days of exposure were more scary/deadly than the white tips.

So, when you’re miles out to sea you should assess the humans, decide who is most likely to lose it, and preemptively take them out. For safety.

[m2711c]

so, back in the 80s, I was stationed on the John F. Kennedy. We had just gotten out of a four year dry dock stint and we were doing a meandering shakedown cruise down to Gitmo. Captain had a house in Fort Lauderdale, So we spent a week there during spring break letting 7000 fucking sailors add to the mayhem with pockets full of cash and a limited ability to make rational behavioral decisions.



being a cruise ship port Fort Lauderdale was actually deep enough for the Kennedy to dock. No need for water taxis and the usual hours long lines waiting for all of the officers and senior enlisted to get the fuck out of the way so the E-3’s could could get some of that sweet shore leave…


the bar opened at 10 am with 10 cent drafts…I really have no firm recollection of what happened after that other than wandering into a hotel laundromat and throwing up in some random washing machine full of clothes. I must’ve come up with something more expensive than 10 cent drafts though because when I woke up back on the ship, I was fucking broke.

so when we got to gitmo, I wasn’t interested in waiting out some long assed line just to get to closed base in a hostile country where my only entertainment option's was gonna be watching my drunken shipmates fight the drunken marines at the nco club or in the bowling alley’s bar.

I picked up some extra cash by taking other peoples duty shifts so they can go to shore. That’s how I ended up out on that there fantail watch.




So as I’m sitting there, try not to fall asleep, whilst watching the fantail, around the corner comes a group of the philippino cooks in a cloud of cigarette smoke from their endless chain smoking. They had about a hunert an fiddy feet or so of half inch rope, one of them big 3 foot round marker bouys, a bunch of 5 gallon buckets of meaty scraps and leavings, a nice raw bloody 15 lb chunk of beef and this massive grappling hook that i think they swiped from the marines…




boys say they goin’ sharkin’… i start crackin’ up. We’re like 30-40 up off the water. even if they managed to catch something, how was they gonna land it?

welp, they heaved them buckets of meat leavin’s into the sea and let ‘em soak fer a while till there was a nice greasy slick on the surface. then they carved up that roast and stuck a chunk on each hook of the grapple, attached the marker bouy to the line to act as a bobber and threw the whole mess overboard. me still laughing at ‘em…

sure as shit, not 5 minutes goes by when, wham that big ol’ bouy goes right under and the extra line starts flyin’ off the deck. them boys jump into action and throw the line around the aft capstan, threw the switch and dragged a fuckin’ 8 foot shark up some 30 feet in the air and onto the deck still writhing around and fighting like crazy.



didn’t faze them boys none and they set to beating the fucking crap outta that damned fish with whatever chunks of random wood or metal they could lay their hands on till it were dead… then they hit it a few more times just to be sure. fuckin’ fish blood everywhere.

after a break for much celebratory backslapping, more cigarettes and souvenir photos taken on trusty 110 instamatics, they proceeded to disembowel that bastard and then kicked his innards back overboard as message to all them other asshole sharks in the area. The U.S. Navy never forgets.

they took the rest of him down to the mess decks and carved that fucker into nice shark steaks and served him up for supper.






fact.

[BmillsSkier]

Not to take anything away from the white tip, but my takeaway from the most recent doc I heard on the Indy was that humans, exposure, and humans after days of exposure were more scary/deadly than the white tips.

So, when you’re miles out to sea you should assess the humans, decide who is most likely to lose it, and preemptively take them out. For safety.

Shoot the hostage. Always.

so, back in the 80s, I was stationed on the John F. Kennedy. We had just gotten out of a four year dry dock stint and we were doing a meandering shakedown cruise down to Gitmo. Captain had a house in Fort Lauderdale, So we spent a week there during spring break letting 7000 fucking sailors add to the mayhem with pockets full of cash and a limited ability to make rational behavioral decisions.



being a cruise ship port Fort Lauderdale was actually deep enough for the Kennedy to dock. No need for water taxis and the usual hours long lines waiting for all of the officers and senior enlisted to get the fuck out of the way so the E-3’s could could get some of that sweet shore leave…


the bar opened at 10 am with 10 cent drafts…I really have no firm recollection of what happened after that other than wandering into a hotel laundromat and throwing up in some random washing machine full of clothes. I must’ve come up with something more expensive than 10 cent drafts though because when I woke up back on the ship, I was fucking broke.

so when we got to gitmo, I wasn’t interested in waiting out some long assed line just to get to closed base in a hostile country where my only entertainment option's was gonna be watching my drunken shipmates fight the drunken marines at the nco club or in the bowling alley’s bar.

I picked up some extra cash by taking other peoples duty shifts so they can go to shore. That’s how I ended up out on that there fantail watch.




So as I’m sitting there, try not to fall asleep, whilst watching the fantail, around the corner comes a group of the philippino cooks in a cloud of cigarette smoke from their endless chain smoking. They had about a hunert an fiddy feet or so of half inch rope, one of them big 3 foot round marker bouys, a bunch of 5 gallon buckets of meaty scraps and leavings, a nice raw bloody 15 lb chunk of beef and this massive grappling hook that i think they swiped from the marines…




boys say they goin’ sharkin’… i start crackin’ up. We’re like 30-40 up off the water. even if they managed to catch something, how was they gonna land it?

welp, they heaved them buckets of meat leavin’s into the sea and let ‘em soak fer a while till there was a nice greasy slick on the surface. then they carved up that roast and stuck a chunk on each hook of the grapple, attached the marker bouy to the line to act as a bobber and threw the whole mess overboard. me still laughing at ‘em…

sure as shit, not 5 minutes goes by when, wham that big ol’ bouy goes right under and the extra line starts flyin’ off the deck. them boys jump into action and throw the line around the aft capstan, threw the switch and dragged a fuckin’ 8 foot shark up some 30 feet in the air and onto the deck still writhing around and fighting like crazy.



didn’t faze them boys none and they set to beating the fucking crap outta that damned fish with whatever chunks of random wood or metal they could lay their hands on till it were dead… then they hit it a few more times just to be sure. fuckin’ fish blood everywhere.

after a break for much celebratory backslapping, more cigarettes and souvenir photos taken on trusty 110 instamatics, they proceeded to disembowel that bastard and then kicked his innards back overboard as message to all them other asshole sharks in the area. The U.S. Navy never forgets.

they took the rest of him down to the mess decks and carved that fucker into nice shark steaks and served him up for supper.






fact.

Outstanding, stories like this is why we come here.

Also, that scene in Ft Lauderdale up there looks like a fukin party.