WTF?

[mmmm...pow!]

Since somehow we don't have one, figured I'd start a thread to post whatever random, bizarre stuff you might have witnessed.
I'll start. Was in Carson City WalMart, went to the restroom to take a leak. Then I hear a voice behind me saying "Poop it. Poop it. Poop it." Huh? Turn around, some tweaker looking dude is holding a fucking bird over the trash, bird shit all over the outside of the can. WTF?

[El Chupacabra]

Since somehow we don't have one, figured I'd start a thread to post whatever random, bizarre stuff you might have witnessed.
I'll start. Was in Carson City WalMart, went to the restroom to take a leak. Then I hear a voice behind me saying "Poop it. Poop it. Poop it." Huh? Turn around, some tweaker looking dude is holding a fucking bird over the trash, bird shit all over the outside of the can. WTF?

Don't judge me, man. My pigeon had to go, and that was the closest restroom.

[Flyoverland Captive]

I posted this back in 2010, and I'm still asking WTF:

I used to live in Prescott, WI, and regularly biked into MN and around Hastings. There was this super-fit, ultra-tan guy who I saw jogging almost every day. He always ran in just shorts, but sometimes he ran with a woman, and when he did, he was almost always pushing a jogging stroller. I never got a look at what was in the stroller until one day as I was fixing a flat, and he ran up the hill toward me. As he and his lady-friend passed, we exchanged hellos, and I got a look into his stroller. Turns out it held a bottle of water, and right where a baby would normally be, a giant stuffed-toy-looking dildo, like something you'd win at an adults-only carnival.

Seriously, WTF?

[MakersTeleMark]

Welcome to Fruita.

[lowsparkco]

Since somehow we don't have one, figured I'd start a thread to post whatever random, bizarre stuff you might have witnessed.
I'll start. Was in Carson City WalMart, went to the restroom to take a leak. Then I hear a voice behind me saying "Poop it. Poop it. Poop it." Huh? Turn around, some tweaker looking dude is holding a fucking bird over the trash, bird shit all over the outside of the can. WTF?

First time I ever skied Kirkwood I drove my pop top Vanagon from Idaho. We blew a CV near Reno, spent the night in a cheap motel and didn’t get back on the road until late the next day. We pulled into that Wally World in Carson City to grab some shut eye. Woke up at 2:30 AM to the sound of small caliber gun fire, slung the door open, crawled outside and it was like a modern day Westside Story breaking out in the parking lot. Good times.

[evdog]

Riding one of our local MTB trails a couple years back I come around a turn and there is a guy with his pants down taking a shit right next to the trail. Like within arms reach. No hole dug or anything. I actually stopped and told him he better bury it or carry it out with him, and next time get out of sight of the trail or better yet do your business at home. Got no response but a shocked blank stare. WTF

[skinipenem]

Riding one of our local MTB trails a couple years back I come around a turn and there is a guy with his pants down taking a shit right next to the trail. Like within arms reach. No hole dug or anything. I actually stopped and told him he better bury it or carry it out with him, and next time get out of sight of the trail or better yet do your business at home. Got no response but a shocked blank stare. WTF

Was he riding an ebike? You wouldn't have let him off so easily.

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[Shredhead]

I came around a corner one time to a young couple embracing. Dude had his pants around his ankles and was pushing the gal down to her knees.

All I could say was “sorry dude” as I did a breeze by cock block.

Got the same stare.

[ötzi]

Years ago I was making my way home after a very late night, walking by the Tidal Basin in DC as the sun came up. A guy rode by on a bike, completely naked, with a hardon, beating off. He was gone before I could even think of a word to say.

[leroy jenkins]

I walked into a wells fargo in aspen. The atm is in the foyer so I am kind of standing unintentionally eavesdroppingly close to the probably mid 60s couple in front of me.

The guy asked the woman how she KEEPS spending 50 grand a month. He specifies its not on bills or the kids or anything, just 50k a month just poof. She shrugs and says "50 things that cost a thousand dollars each"

This was 20+ years ago for a reference as to the value of a dollar.





I also recently met a young woman born in Russia raised in the US who had some sort of trauma bonding with the USSR. She admitted her father and grandfather were killed by the KGB, but claimed the USSR was less patriarchal than the USA because they ended bride kidnapping in Kasachstan. Never mind none of their leaders were female, and we never had bride kidnapping in the USA to begin with, but she just seemed to want a reason to hate the society she lived in. Truly nuts. Also said she hoped people just stop breeding and die out.

[boltonoutlaw]

...Never mind none of their leaders were female, and we never had bride kidnapping in the USA to begin with, but she just seemed to want a reason to hate the society she lived in. Truly nuts. Also said she hoped people just stop breeding and die out.

Have you not heard of Mormons?

[mcski]

While living in Tokyo, we would regularly see dudes on paths near trainstations jerking off as women and girls walked by on their way home. It was such a thing it was kind of a cliche scene
WTF at them and WTF to us getting used to it

[subtle plague]

While living in Tokyo, we would regularly see dudes on paths near trainstations jerking off as women and girls walked by on their way home. It was such a thing it was kind of a cliche scene
WTF at them and WTF to us getting used to it

They couldn't Afford the used panty vending machine.

[The AD]

Turns out it held a bottle of water, and right where a baby would normally be, a giant stuffed-toy-looking dildo, like something you'd win at an adults-only carnival.

Seriously, WTF?

What do you mean? Giant stuffed dildos need fresh air, too!

[leroy jenkins]

Have you not heard of Mormons?

While the fundies treatment of women is fucked I wouldn't exactly call it bride kidnapping. Not saying its better or justifying it just saying that isn't the right term. But ok you have a point, regardless of the semantics of what we call it.

To be fair though, Warren Jeffs is rotting in prison. So its not like our system just 'allows' that.



It seems like many of these stories are just going to be people doing sexual things in public. I once encountered a guy beating off like 2 feet from Jacobs ladder trail in draper. I almost stopped and shamed him but just kept riding. The look on his face made it seem like he was just shocked that a person had happened to pass by and he had been expecting privacy and not exhibitionism.

Once after skiing castle peak with some mags and a couple of their non mag, non skier, mountaineer friends, one of whom was the gf of one of the mags, when we were stopped at the snowline to switch from ski gear to hiking boots, and were waiting for the mountaineers to catch up, I pulled off my gore tex pants and with my hands on my hips, full of stoke and bravado from the day's ski, loudly proclaimed how nice the fresh air felt. I was a little confused at the reaction of the one mag with the gf who muttered something about uhh, I'm going down the trail a little ways to get ready and wait for my gf. After all, I had shorts on underneath. Well after a moment I realized that with multiple sets of zippers of the shorts and the pants I had previously forgot to zip up my shorts and was airing out my survivalist style bush. I promptly zipped up and laughed about it with the remaining mags who found it pretty entertaining.

For the life of me I can't remember who was there. I addimen maybe.

[leroy jenkins]

I also knew this really hot cowgirl. Ran cattle up in the la sal mountains. Drank hard. Was sort of seeing her as a rebound after my last relationship, she had hit on me when I was with my ex so I knew she wasn't dating material but still seemed like a good rebound. My neighbors told me they were jealous, but I just couldn't pull the trigger with her. I overanalyzed it thinking maybe it was my trust issues from my ex or something, couldn't figure it out.

Then I knew why when I walked in on her fucking her cousin. No one else was surprised when I told them. My one neighbor said "I fucking knew it!" Gross.

[neufox47]

You’re so full of shit Leroy.


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[Buzzworthy]

And he’s just waiting for a reply so he can fight you with his long winded word salads. And yes you’re correct.

[grinch]

Him and as should pm each other and edit it down to a sentence or 2. May have to get an extra fan for tge server though

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[Boissal]

I came around a corner one time to a young couple embracing. Dude had his pants around his ankles and was pushing the gal down to her knees.

All I could say was “sorry dude” as I did a breeze by cock block.

Got the same stare.

Had a similar one this summer. I was doing work on an unsanctioned bike trail, pretty close to an old mine people like to check out. The area isn't particularly scenic, it's basically an opened area of flattened mine tailings with no trees close, about 30 minutes from the trailhead and visible from the hiking trail nearby. The drainage isn't super popular in the summer, I see people maybe 50% of the time I'm up there, but it's definitely not a place for guaranteed solitude.

Anyway, I'm about 100' away from the mine trashing through brush and moving big rocks around. I know I'm completely out of sight but don't want to attract attention to the concealed end of the trail which is right by the mine so I decide to take a break and wait these people out while eating lunch. Hikers usually wander over to the mine, realize it's gated and boring, and move back to the hiking trail. Not these people, apparently they've decided that this ugly ass area is the ideal spot for a picnic. After about 15 minutes things get quiet and I figure they're packing up so I get ready to go. Then the noises return: first some light moaning, then some heavy panting, and eventually some straight porn talk. From where I'm sitting above the mine I can see some serious action, dude has bent his lady friend over and he is putting in the work, grunting like a bear rubbing against a tree. Good on them I guess, but I've dilly dallied enough and need to move on to the next section of trail on the other side of the mine. Which means coming out of the brush 20' away from them and walking by. They've been at it for a few minutes already so I start rounding up my tools, making as much noise as I can so they realize they're not alone and have time to finish and clean up before I crash the party. 5 minutes later I waddle into the clearing, covered in dirt, armed with a couple of hoes, saw dangling off the pack. I already had a hard time keeping my shit together but their expression when I caught them mid-boning was just too much and I burst out laughing. The girl straight up fled into the bushes, I've never seen anyone move this fast with pants around their ankles. Dude just pulled his shorts up and stood there looking like a deflated beet (color of face/shape of dong). I just strolled across the area, nodded at him, said something about how nice of a day it was for a hike, and disappeared back into the brush. I didn't want to push the humiliation so I put headphones on and went about my business but I would have loved to hear the conversation that ensued. Still considering naming the trail Deflated Beet in honor of this moment.

On the topic of trail pooping, I witnessed a good one last season as well. I was up in the Uintas riding, wide opened meadows ringed by trees, come to an intersection and a gal is squatting trailside taking a dump. There are trees 50' away but she's picked the one spot that maximizes her chances of running into people. Weird vibe.

[dunfree]

I posted this back in 2010, and I'm still asking WTF:

I used to live in Prescott, WI, and regularly biked into MN and around Hastings. There was this super-fit, ultra-tan guy who I saw jogging almost every day. He always ran in just shorts, but sometimes he ran with a woman, and when he did, he was almost always pushing a jogging stroller. I never got a look at what was in the stroller until one day as I was fixing a flat, and he ran up the hill toward me. As he and his lady-friend passed, we exchanged hellos, and I got a look into his stroller. Turns out it held a bottle of water, and right where a baby would normally be, a giant stuffed-toy-looking dildo, like something you'd win at an adults-only carnival.

Seriously, WTF?

lol. I saw that dude many a day 5 years later, but he’d ditched the dildo (or I never noticed it) and kept the Bolton hottie, but still pounding away on 10 every afternoon