I need a new mistress

[Diamond Joe]

The old one is getting, well, old. WWMD. Russian mail order?

[liv2ski]

Ukrainian, blow out prices right now.

[XXX-er]

A boat ?

[Harry]

I heard in a different thread that the newest mistresses have a hole deep enough to store your bong and a handgun. Others in that thread say no, but you can stick your fist in the mistresses hole all the way up to your shoulder.


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[hutash]

Don't you just hate it when your mistress start to sag, feeling lumpy and has a funky smell? Not to mention mites, beg bugs and other such vermin.

[Diamond Joe]

don't forget the cum stains.

[byates1]

Chick invited me to her place after 5 text messages on tinder. Told me her life story in an hour. Crazy drug parents, then her. Doesn't work. Multiple psycho diagnosis es etc. Told me she recently had 3 sti's and hasn't shit in 2 weeks.

I said well great to meet you, gotta go.

Not exactly the right mistress fit I was looking for. Jfc.

[shroom]

did you stop in Moses Lake?

jesus dude your home has wheels

[subtle plague]

Timberridge to the white courtesy phone please.

[sb]

Just go buy one of those $1million dollar sports cars.

New concubine will show up.

ETA some guidance

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FH3E6s...bGUgYm9hcmQ%3D

[fastfred]

Chick invited me to her place after 5 text messages on tinder. Told me her life story in an hour. Crazy drug parents, then her. Doesn't work. Multiple psycho diagnosis es etc. Told me she recently had 3 sti's and hasn't shit in 2 weeks.

I said well great to meet you, gotta go.

Not exactly the right mistress fit I was looking for. Jfc.

sorry to hear this
you don't always win on tinder
just think of all the diseases and crazy you missed out on cause she was so honest and upfront maybe that's a good trait and you should go back and try again?

[byates1]

She was nice enough but holy fuck I'm all good. I mostly observe as a social experiment. Passes the time.

[byates1]

They are all batty and too much work.

[Garbowski]

How hot was she though?

[fastfred]

How hot was she though?

This matters

Two condoms and a dental dam and anything is possible

[fatnslow]

Chick invited me to her place after 5 text messages on tinder. Told me her life story in an hour. Crazy drug parents, then her. Doesn't work. Multiple psycho diagnosis es etc. Told me she recently had 3 sti's and hasn't shit in 2 weeks.

I said well great to meet you, gotta go.

Not exactly the right mistress fit I was looking for. Jfc.

Sounds like a decent trip report that was wasted. Crazy chicks like to have crazy sex and you had an escape vehicle ready for the classic hit and run.

[grinch]

Maybe just a quick enema?

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[stuckathuntermtn]

Chick invited me to her place after 5 text messages on tinder. Told me her life story in an hour. Crazy drug parents, then her. Doesn't work. Multiple psycho diagnosis es etc. Told me she recently had 3 sti's and hasn't shit in 2 weeks.

I said well great to meet you, gotta go.

Not exactly the right mistress fit I was looking for. Jfc.

So, you're saying you didn't want a used mistress? Good call. Seen those in allies around town. Not great.

[XXX-er]

I think you gotta pay extra for that ?

[byates1]

Sounds like a decent trip report that was wasted. Crazy chicks like to have crazy sex and you had an escape vehicle ready for the classic hit and run.

I love crazy chicks. But not that hot and whipping out std cream the first 60 min after meeting her was like yeah no.

I'm not even close to that hard up. Pretty much could give af.

Another wacky encounter: went this chicks condo in BS a while back. 10 am, knock on the door, she answers the door naked, black and blue broken nose and fucking hammered... Not that hot. Told her she needed to stop drinking, faked a call and bounced.

[irul&ublo]

Maybe just a quick enema?

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PM Rontele

[54-46]

Stay away from chicks in Pantsuits


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[subtle plague]

This matters

Two condoms and a dental dam and anything is possible

Fastfred sharing the wisdom.

[fastfred]

Is a 26 year old still millennial?

Trying to decide if I should stick with the fwb situation with the sex fiend or go with this pretty young girl from the upstates or both till one of them freaks

The old one wouldn't do it doggie style and would say why thought it was my big cock or something then the other day she's grabbing the footboard of the bed while standing up as I plow her from behind like dirk diggler sure enough I'm like you liked that but not straight doggie? Turns out it wasn't my cock size it was her old lady knees causing sone discomfort

Meanwhile the millennial wants to be all serious and has a ton of hang ups before I get to dip my dick in her I think she's on to me and can read me like book and knows the ending already Meanwhile she parades around in endless yoga pants w a

[fatnslow]

I love crazy chicks. But not that hot and whipping out std cream the first 60 min after meeting her was like yeah no.

I'm not even close to that hard up. Pretty much could give af.

Another wacky encounter: went this chicks condo in BS a while back. 10 am, knock on the door, she answers the door naked, black and blue broken nose and fucking hammered... Not that hot. Told her she needed to stop drinking, faked a call and bounced.

I think yo need your own thread. "Tinder adventures of byates1"