Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

**m2711c** · 08-10-2021, 06:25 PM

Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper

I’m in. We sent IAS to SLC, I think the collective can make this happen.

Also, why exactly would I want to kill a gorilla?

Well, you would at least inherit his gorilla harem. So you would have that going for ya.

**m2711c** · 08-10-2021, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by Benny Profane

Yup, that's the one. I road biked right by that house for a few years.

The women on the call slept with the fucker. Jezuz, that was pretty twisted.

Wait, are you telling us that she fucked that chimp? Or she just was “sleeping“ with that chimp? cause you know when a chick says that she “slept with somebody”, She really means that she fucked that guy…….. you do know that right?

**stealurface831** · 08-10-2021, 06:30 PM

I think some are still confusing chimps and gorillas. Chimps are 70-130 pounds. Gorillas are between 350 and 600.

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**PNWbrit** · 08-10-2021, 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper

I’m in. We sent IAS to SLC, I think the collective can make this happen.

Also, why exactly would I want to kill a gorilla?

gofundchimp?

**ntblanks** · 08-10-2021, 06:31 PM

why don't we just try to talk to them first?

**JimmyCarter** · 08-10-2021, 06:32 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

I might not be able to take a chimp but I’ll fuck your ass up for damned sure.

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I’d like to see you start with a goose before you try the chimp

**stealurface831** · 08-10-2021, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

I’d like to see you start with a goose before you try the chimp

I ain’t fuckin with a goose.

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**Meadow Skipper** · 08-10-2021, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

I think some are still confusing chimps and gorillas. Chimps are 70-130 pounds. Gorillas are between 350 and 600.

Details like that are for pussies.

**I've seen black diamonds!** · 08-10-2021, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

I ain’t fuckin with a goose.

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With your history of head injuries one could peck could knock you out.

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**SKIP IN7RO** · 08-10-2021, 06:36 PM

oo oo ah ah, the JRE

**riser4** · 08-10-2021, 06:40 PM

My 16yo is pretty ripped and full of himself. He's got attitude for days. He said no to the gorilla and maybe on the chimp. He did take 1st in his weight class at the state (Vermont, so there's that) wrestling finals in 5th grade. However I don't think he has a chance against a chimp.

**Kinnikinnick** · 08-10-2021, 06:40 PM

Would be interesting to see some martial arts techniques used in a human/chimp and human gorilla fight. Those suckers are strong as fuck but wonder whether some karate, tae kwon do, or jiu jitsu moves would even it out.

New Reality TV!!

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**ötzi** · 08-10-2021, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

I might not be able to take a chimp but I’ll fuck your ass up for damned sure.

Well he won't be hard to find, he'll be in the front row.

**I Skied Bandini Mountain** · 08-10-2021, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

I think some are still confusing chimps and gorillas. Chimps are 70-130 pounds. Gorillas are between 350 and 600.

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Sorry. Full grown male chimp is going to fuck you up. Then torture, kill and eat you. They are not nice cuddly animals.

**m2711c** · 08-10-2021, 06:45 PM

Maybe it’s just your attitude. Have you ever tried to cuddle a chimp? I mean, really tried?

**ötzi** · 08-10-2021, 06:51 PM

I knew a guy that supposedly wrassled with a chimp. Big dumb motherfucker (the guy), so maybe it was true. The story told was he worked with the animals at a big animal research lab outside DC (the place exists, I've been by it, very scary place in the woods in Maryland, all security fences and barbed wire and guard booths around that place to keep PETA out I guess) and one of the chimps got out of his cage but not out of the room where the cages were so they sent him in and he went.

Supposedly controlled the chimp enough so they could get a tranquilizer shot in it but got his ass throughly kicked in the process. Retained his face, though. Guy was my freshman roommates buddy from growing up, I heard the story years before I met the guy and when I met him I could kinda believe it. Guy had a pretty good chimp-wrasslin' name, Johnny Roper.

**Benny Profane** · 08-10-2021, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by m2711c

Wait, are you telling us that she fucked that chimp? Or she just was “sleeping“ with that chimp? cause you know when a chick says that she “slept with somebody”, She really mean that fucked that guy…….. you do know that right?

Hey, man, all I know is, she slept with the fucker. A lot. You do with that whatever you want.

**Mofro261** · 08-10-2021, 07:01 PM

Right turn, Clyde.

PB · 08-10-2021, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by stealurface831

I ain’t fuckin with a goose.

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Oh hellyas; a chimp be run-in' from a gander.

**Woodsy** · 08-10-2021, 07:39 PM

Gorilla Glue been killin me for years

**stealurface831** · 08-10-2021, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by PB

Oh hellyas; a chimp be run-in' from a gander.

a goose just might be the most intimidating creature on the planet pound for pound.

**JayPowHound** · 08-10-2021, 07:49 PM

I dunno.. goose (or moreso swan) = grab the neck and swing. At least you have a chance. Chimps are a no-win situation

**stealurface831** · 08-10-2021, 07:52 PM

Originally Posted by JayPowHound

I dunno.. goose (or moreso swan) = grab the neck and swing. At least you have a chance. Chimps are a no-win situation

but that is the thing, the goose wins on intimidation alone. of course any of us could body a goose but when one of those fuckers starts hissing at me or spreading its wings and puffing out its chest, i am fuckin out of there.