Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

[bennymac]

I'd recommend some jenkem followed by some brown brown to take on a giraffe

[XXX-er]

17 pages in on this thread I thot i should ask if hasnt come up already, if one really needs to establish some kind of dominance over a 400lb gorilla and how do you do that,

going mano mano ( mano ape ? ) or by just presenting the hind quarters ?

I think it would be be better to engage that ape intellectually

maybe share some mushrooms really bond ?

[MakersTeleMark]

Only chance to take down a giraffe is to break one of its legs... which would probably be difficult to do even if it just stood there and let you try. How many chimps would it take to beat a giraffe? How many chimps on flakka?

This is brilliant. I'm now picturing a 3 legged giraffe, and that I think I would stand a chance with. It also would be funnay AF.

[MakersTeleMark]

17 pages in on this thread I thot i should ask if hasnt come up already, if one really needs to establish some kind of dominance over a 400lb gorilla and how do you do that,

going mano mano ( mano ape ? ) or by just presenting the hind quarters ?

I think it would be be better to engage that ape intellectually

maybe share some mushrooms really bond ?

Make friends, give it a few tabs, then plan the attack. Brilliant! We are some crafty mutherfuckers.

[Core Shot]

Go full Cosby

Drop him roofies

[Greenstateofmind]

i'm gonna say 20-25 non-flakka'd chimps. subtract 8 or so if given flakka.


i don't think bats would make much difference. chimps don't have the range of motion to effectively swing a bat.

This video is mind numbing. Clearly chimps can play baseball. Why is there not a chimp baseball league?

[MagnificentUnicorn]

This video is mind numbing. Clearly chimps can play baseball. Why is there not a chimp baseball league?

They can ride Segways too


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[XXX-er]

This video is mind numbing. Clearly chimps can play baseball. Why is there not a chimp baseball league?

the big question would be can you monetize it ?

[::: :::]

If “Ow My Balls!” can be a national pastime, how could you not?

[Kinnikinnick]

Ok, so here is the reality.

No human is likely to win a fight with a Gorilla in a Marquess of Queensberry rules match Or in a “all out fight to the death.”

But here’s the stone cold reality:

A human or pack of humans will kill the gorilla, chimp, elephant, giraffe or what the fuck almost every time if push comes to shove.

We are both the most vicious and most intelligent animals on earth.

I’d dig a pit and fill it with bamboo punji spikes, cover it up, and lure that big dumbass brute of a Gorilla to charge me on the other side of covered pit. Dead Gorilla.

Maybe I’d get together with four buddies and we’d toss baseball sized rocks at him until he was fucking dead or fled.

Maybe we’d poison him.

Of course in modern times we’d just shoot him dead.

So in a prolonged “fight” the human almost always wins.

Not even close.


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[m2711c]

[ötzi]

Ok, so here is the reality.

No human is likely to win a fight with a Gorilla in a Marquess of Queensberry rules match Or in a “all out fight to the death.”

But here’s the stone cold reality:

A human or pack of humans will kill the gorilla, chimp, elephant, giraffe or what the fuck almost every time if push comes to shove.

We are both the most vicious and most intelligent animals on earth.

I’d dig a pit and fill it with bamboo punji spikes, cover it up, and lure that big dumbass brute of a Gorilla to charge me on the other side of covered pit. Dead Gorilla.

Maybe I’d get together with four buddies and we’d toss baseball sized rocks at him until he was fucking dead or fled.

Maybe we’d poison him.

Of course in modern times we’d just shoot him dead.

So in a prolonged “fight” the human almost always wins.

Not even close.

Phew. I was worried about the continued existence of our species but now I think we got it handled. Sometimes we're a little challenged on the humor part, though, amIrite kinnick? XXXer?

[frorider]

#TRGthreads_overlap

Facebook said the Russia-linked operation started with the creation of batches of fake accounts in 2020, likely originating from account farms in Bangladesh and Pakistan, which posed as being based in India. It said the network posted memes and comments on its platforms in November and December 2020 claiming the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine would turn people into chimpanzees, often using scenes from the 1968 "Planet of the Apes" movie.

[jono]

Convergent evolution?

[stealurface831]

we are just going back to our roots.

[m2711c]

our roots are in russia?

[Brownski]

Offered based on peripheral relevance to the topic

https://nypost.com/2021/08/24/woman-...ip-with-chimp/

[ZomblibulaX]

Offered based on peripheral relevance to the topic

https://nypost.com/2021/08/24/woman-...ip-with-chimp/

No no no, we're trying to see who can fuck UP a chimp. Big emphasis there.

[Harry]

I’m not sure I would win a fight with a gorilla/chimp/ape/whatever, but I would definitely win a ski off with one.


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[Mustonen]

Ok, so here is the reality.

No human is likely to win a fight with a Gorilla in a Marquess of Queensberry rules match Or in a “all out fight to the death.”

But here’s the stone cold reality:

A human or pack of humans will kill the gorilla, chimp, elephant, giraffe or what the fuck almost every time if push comes to shove.

We are both the most vicious and most intelligent animals on earth.

I’d dig a pit and fill it with bamboo punji spikes, cover it up, and lure that big dumbass brute of a Gorilla to charge me on the other side of covered pit. Dead Gorilla.

Maybe I’d get together with four buddies and we’d toss baseball sized rocks at him until he was fucking dead or fled.

Maybe we’d poison him.

Of course in modern times we’d just shoot him dead.

So in a prolonged “fight” the human almost always wins.

Not even close.


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Hah.

Really?

I’d propose that in non-modern times you’d devote your questionably superior intellect to just staying the fuck out of a gorilla’s way. In a strictly survival of the species/drive the other to extinction scenario, which we are living, humans clearly win. Entice him across a spike laden pit? Getthefuckouttahere.

[Kinnikinnick]

Hah.

Really?

I’d propose that in non-modern times you’d devote your questionably superior intellect to just staying the fuck out of a gorilla’s way. In a strictly survival of the species/drive the other to extinction scenario, which we are living, humans clearly win. Entice him across a spike laden pit? Getthefuckouttahere.

Well then your problem is with the entire hypothetical premise of the thread, not my thoughts on the hypothetical.


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[Mustonen]

Well then your problem is with the entire hypothetical premise of the thread, not my thoughts on the hypothetical.


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I don’t have a problem with anything, I just think it’s funny that you imagine yourself digging a spiked pit and then provoking a gorilla to chase you across it. I had chipmunks in my garage once, who refused to leave and did not care about my peanut butter and nut traps, and to take care of them I tried to get them to run across a line of traps strategically laid across choke points on their established routes. I was spectacularly unsuccessful and can only imagine if I had a similar strategy with a fucking silverback who I had deliberately provoked.

And no, no problem with the thread, it has provided much levity. I quite enjoy the idea that some among us think they would not be thoroughly destroyed by a gorilla in hand to hand combat.

[JayPowHound]

You guys are missing the point and taking the thread title too literally. This discussion is clearly about chimpanzees.

[Meadow Skipper]

You guys are missing the point and taking the thread title too literally. This discussion is clearly about chimpanzees.

But I read this because I like saying “killa gorilla.”

[riser4]

Bump.