Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[bodywhomper]

Regarding pipes with residues of other drugs, that totally seems feasible with fentanyl/opiates. When I use google, I do not see reliable sources (eg dancesafe) that describes pot is floating around that is intentionally “laced” with synthetic opiates.

When I was younger, my peers and I sometimes had a pipe that we used for what we believed to be opium or opium/hash mix (usually scored at the SLC OR shows), and we were responsible enough to make sure people knew that the pipe likely may have residual opium when it was just being pack with pot.

[johnnyg82]

T-3 weeks til my world changes.

Last minute things you recommend? Things for my relationship (we're trying to eat out once a week before kid)? Things you wished you had on hand immediately (nursery pretty set up, etc)? Things to do for myself?

It will take your wife’s hormones up to 7 years to recover to the point they were at before any kids were in The picture.

[californiagrown]

Had my first of many (im sure) near accidents yesterday when i stepped barefoot on a matchbox fire truck camouflaged against the red patterned carpet. Rolled my foot to avoid putting my full weight down, which put my foot/ankle into a weird position so i just went with it and fell down. Glad i didnt try to save it and roll my foot/ankle badly. I really need to get a pair of replacement slippers ASAP.

First 3 days of potty training done with. I was teabagged easily 100 times over those 3 days because his love of wrestling me didnt stop just cause he was pantsless.

[riser4]

Had my first of many (im sure) near accidents yesterday when i stepped barefoot on a matchbox fire truck camouflaged against the red patterned carpet. Rolled my foot to avoid putting my full weight down, which put my foot/ankle into a weird position so i just went with it and fell down. Glad i didnt try to save it and roll my foot/ankle badly. I really need to get a pair of replacement slippers ASAP.

First 3 days of potty training done with. I was teabagged easily 100 times over those 3 days because his love of wrestling me didnt stop just cause he was pantsless.

House shoes for the win!

[subtle plague]

House shoes for the win!

Riser 3 used to recommend crocs.

[subtle plague]

Serious question where do you draw the line at scary books? I read to my big girl ( 6 years and she's learning to read these days, but interested in stories way beyond her age).

Sometimes I have to backpaddle mid book or reimagine certain scenes or stop the series altogether like Harry Potter after book 2 when I realised that they get ultra dark after book 2. Or warrior cats, where alle the cats die gruesome deaths and have horrible fates after book 3ish.

Or a German series about teenage girls starting where the girls are 10 and Form a "Gang to raid the treehouse of a boys gang but in the last book they are 16? And become pregnant? Wtf? Luckily I knew that before I ever started the last book.


They don't put age stickers on books here and all books from the library which "suit her age" are super boring for both of us.....usually fluffy the cat and her friends do all kinds of Super educational things in those books.

[Boissal]

Speaking of scary, and completely unrelated to subtle plague's post above: I've been puked on a lot in the past 5.5 months but yesterday was a properly terrifying moment. Our babe has been grouchy for a few days and eating more than usual, something we were attributing to the 6-months growth spurt. I was giving her a bottle after her mom breastfed her, sat her up on my lap to burp her, and she puked on me. First blast was more than she'd ever puked, a stream of milk like a firehose the diameter of her mouth, straight into my lap. I yelped which brought Ms Boissal back into the room and she got to witness 3 more rounds of the same. I couldn't believe the amount that was coming out, and the force behind it. She tried to take a breath after 4 goes and started choking on the 5th, and that's when I freaked out. Fortunately her mom is dialed and medical training kicked in, she plucked her off my lap and got her in a positing where she wouldn't aspirate. She was purple by then and when she finally started screaming it was a major relief.

She slept 5 hours after that, woke up in a great mood and completely ravenous. No fluid expulsion since then but holy shit was that wild, a scene straight out of the Exorcist...

[riser4]

Riser 3 used to recommend crocs.

Straight up lie. Guy was an asshole but he never wore Crocs.

[MarcusBrody]

Serious question where do you draw the line at scary books? I read to my big girl ( 6 years and she's learning to read these days, but interested in stories way beyond her age).

Sometimes I have to backpaddle mid book or reimagine certain scenes or stop the series altogether like Harry Potter after book 2 when I realised that they get ultra dark after book 2. Or warrior cats, where alle the cats die gruesome deaths and have horrible fates after book 3ish.

Or a German series about teenage girls starting where the girls are 10 and Form a "Gang to raid the treehouse of a boys gang but in the last book they are 16? And become pregnant? Wtf? Luckily I knew that before I ever started the last book.


They don't put age stickers on books here and all books from the library which "suit her age" are super boring for both of us.....usually fluffy the cat and her friends do all kinds of Super educational things in those books.

We're working our way through that right now. My son is 7 and has become a pretty good reader. We are now reading the Harry Potter series. We listened to the first three audiobooks while traveling, then he read the illustrated versions. The initial plan was to stop there for a while as they get darker. But he was really into them and really wanted to read book four and we gave in. Partially because I am a defective person and always found the potential creature death in 3 more disturbing than the human death in 4.... He's not up to any really scary parts, though so we'll see. The initial idea was that my wife and I would read along with him in a variety of second languages, then we'd all discuss to make sure that we understood everything and it would give him a chance to check in and we could gauge his feelings. Turns out that we might read even slower than he does in our second languages and he - as a seven year old - has a lot more time to read than we do, so he's way ahead. We might have to switch strategies to catch up before he gets to the scary parts. We both read the book years ago, but we don't remember it quite well enough to be able to ask about/discuss details.

Overall, though, I find it hard to guess what kids will find scary or traumatizing. My son has had little problem with any of the Harry Potter stuff so far. Not in books, but we watched Raiders of the Lost Ark together when he was home sick from school the other day and he was totally fine, despite me - after a million watches - forgetting how intense it is at parts. On the other hand, it wasn't that long ago that he LOST it when WALL-E and the other robot were separated, and yesterday I came home to find him really upset because a paleontology show he was watching concluded that deinosuchus - an ancient crocodilian - would defeat titanoboa - an ancient snake that he apparently prefers. It's less about death and mayhem to him thank identification and emotional evocativeness. I'm not sure how he'll take the end of HP 4 for that reason, but I'll report back.

[subtle plague]

Thanks for the insight. As I said we usually go learning by doing As well. Maybe I'm too sensitive. I mean judt look at old brother Grimm fairy Tales [emoji3]

[up an down]

Thanks for the insight. As I said we usually go learning by doing As well. Maybe I'm too sensitive. I mean judt look at old brother Grimm fairy Tales [emoji3]

You never know what's in a kids mind....it doesn't have to be bloody violence.... My youngest son cried watching the red balloon film during the scene when the older bully boys destroyed the red balloon which was the primary boy characters friend..

[schuss]

Thanks for the insight. As I said we usually go learning by doing As well. Maybe I'm too sensitive. I mean judt look at old brother Grimm fairy Tales [emoji3]

Grimm's was originally targeted towards adults. It was only as they softened the tales to appeal to more audiences that kids were even in the conversation.

[MarcusBrody]

You never know what's in a kids mind....it doesn't have to be bloody violence.... My youngest son cried watching the red balloon film during the scene when the older bully boys destroyed the red balloon which was the primary boy characters friend..

Exactly. Kids don't yet share the cultural-emotional shorthand that adults do, so it's a but harder to predict, so I guess all you can do is make your best judgment and be attentive.

I do think that lost attachments (like the balloon and in Wall-E) tend to hit kids really hard.

[lowsparkco]

My 6 month old officially sleeps in her nursery in her big girl crib for about 12 hours a night. No lights, no visits from ma or pa, a small space heater with a thermostat (don’t know why her room is cold - north facing windows is my guess). It’s like a different phase of life to have two doors between me and her being sad when she wakes up. We still check on her with the monitor, but it’s been a week so I’m hopeful she won’t backslide into the bassinet in our room. Lots of gratitude 🙏

[fatnslow]

My 6 month old officially sleeps in her nursery in her big girl crib for about 12 hours a night. No lights, no visits from ma or pa, a small space heater with a thermostat (don’t know why her room is cold - north facing windows is my guess). It’s like a different phase of life to have two doors between me and her being sad when she wakes up. We still check on her with the monitor, but it’s been a week so I’m hopeful she won’t backslide into the bassinet in our room. Lots of gratitude 🙏

Dude, first rule of fight club.............................................. ..

[yeahman]

They can go through good sleep/ bad sleep phases.

[AK47bp]

My 6 month old officially sleeps in her nursery in her big girl crib for about 12 hours a night. No lights, no visits from ma or pa, a small space heater with a thermostat (don’t know why her room is cold - north facing windows is my guess). It’s like a different phase of life to have two doors between me and her being sad when she wakes up. We still check on her with the monitor, but it’s been a week so I’m hopeful she won’t backslide into the bassinet in our room. Lots of gratitude [emoji120]

Lucky.

My daughter woke up every 3 hours until she was 3yrs old. Not kidding.

The reason she is an only child.

[riser4]

Lucky.

My daughter woke up every 3 hours until she was 3yrs old. Not kidding.

The reason she is an only child.

Thing #2 fed every two hours until age one. Preemie. That of course meant waking up. After that it was still two or three times a night for quite a while. My wife felt drained. She didn't (and still doesn't) think that joke was as funny as I did (do). I changed a lot of diapers. We were gluttons for punishment and had two more kids, each one completely different.

[MarcusBrody]

Lucky.

My daughter woke up every 3 hours until she was 3yrs old. Not kidding.

The reason she is an only child.

For my son it was only until a bit after two, but we always say the same thing. And aren't totally joking. His terrible sleep really affected our mental health (especially my wife's) during that period.

[Yonder_River]

Mmmm, sleeping kid issues? I can share a couple horror stories.

Thing #2 started having night terrors at age four. They would usually start around 10:30 after he had been asleep for a couple hours. He would start loudly crying/wailing/yelling non-stop for 20 minutes at a time and had no idea what he was doing. It was not a nightmare you could snap him out of and he didn't remember a thing in the morning. After 20 minutes or so, he would go back to sleep and then repeat the process over again about 45 minutes later. This would go on until about 3 a.m. This happened almost every single night of the year - FOR OVER THREE YEARS - and there wasn't a god damn thing we could do about it. His brothers sleep suffered and ours was just sleeping in intervals of time, it was a mess.

Eventually it morphed into where he would become semi-lucid and start stalking us in the middle of the night (like us waking up and him standing next to our bed making little weird noises - then running away to another room, then repeat). When he finally just more or less stopped over the course of a few weeks when he was seven, it was like we won the lottery. I hope it doesn't come back later in his soon to be teen years (he's 12 now) and start sleep walking. I hear there is a correlation.

Prior to that, Thing #3 was born three months early at a whopping 2 pounds and spent 80 days in the NICU. During that time, he developed something preemies get, but is pretty rare - necrotizing enterocolitis. Basically a bacteria that destroys your gut. He was pretty close to succumbing to it, but luckily after exploratory surgery, they managed to remove enough of his intestines to rid him of it, but it left him with a (temporary) ostomy bag. After a few weeks he finally came home and we had to feed him with the equivalent of an eye dropper as he wasn't really into drinking milk (and still only weighed 5lbs). As a result, we needed to attempt feeding him all of the time so he wouldn't lose more weight and he never really slept more than 2-3 hours at a time for a large portion of that first year.

I know others go through way more than that (and spending all of that time in the NICU, we saw and heard plenty), but damn it was a bit traumatic, especially reflecting back on it. Anyways, hope all of your kids sleep good tonight and the buggers don't wake up!

[Norseman]

Holy shit dude

[lowsparkco]

Dude, first rule of fight club.............................................. ..

Yeah, I thought about the possibility of a jinx and decided fuck it. It’s a victory even if short lived.

Yonder River that sounds rough. Glad they’re through it.

My little girl fights sleep. She seems to really dislike going down for naps. My wife and I were talking about it the other day and I was thinking how babies aren’t that rooted in consciousness. No long-term memory, limited vision, blossoming higher level thinking. How weird must it be to dream. It probably seems like an equally viable and real consciousness. I can understand that being a little scary.

[bodywhomper]

Yonder river, how old are your kids now?

[gaijin]

I was thinking how babies aren’t that rooted in consciousness. No long-term memory, limited vision, blossoming higher level thinking. How weird must it be to dream. It probably seems like an equally viable and real consciousness. I can understand that being a little scary.

That's some pretty empathetic, and heavy thinking on your end. I dig it.

When I was younger I was on a deer hunting trip with my dad, uncle, cousins, etc. I remember commenting about "Of course babies cry, can you imagine growing 1-2mm a day? That must be a day of agony." My uncle stared at me and was like "That makes so much sense."

Those growing pains, accompanied by the development of a consciousness must be absolutely terrifying.

On a different note, my son (then 5) was entering renal failure. His kidneys were the size of grapefruits and his immune system was attacking his platelets. He was in the hospital for 3 months on an IV. Then on and off for another 3 months. That year was brutal. My wife was also breast-feeding our youngest and he developed pneumonia. Meaning, all three were in the same hospital room for a solid 2 months.

That summer my daughter, the oldest, went from age 12 to 25. It was just her and I at home each day. I'd pick her up from school, we'd go to the supermarket for some "high class dinner" to bring to the hospital. We'd all eat dinner on my son's hospital bed.

Then I'd drive home with my daughter in the passenger seat crying, thinking her brother was dying. Now, we call her Mini Mama because she never had a youth. She "got it" while too young.

Now she's a 14yo receiving government grants to study chemistry at the local university in order to "create a technology to convert the CO2 of Mars into a livable atmosphere."

My wife and I just sit over here like-- "I guess she's decided to save the world." She's even convinced the national government to give her money to do it.

Her Christmas present was already purchased-- a chemistry lab magnetic mixer. That's it. "I just want lab tools for the house."

My son is fine. His immune system is back to normal and no-one bats an eye. But... my wife and I constantly remember the summer of our daughter becoming Mini Mama.

Parenting... Shit's crazy, yo.

[Harry]

This is the best thread on TRG.


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