Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[SkiLyft]

^^ nailed it, its the XS Smith Glide
(https://amzn.to/3jPmxlU)
It’s cranked and barely fits her head at 19 months.

Before ~15mo head stability/control is the main issue. Some of the smaller bike helmets
(https://amzn.to/3vAynTo) work as they are lighter.


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[lowsparkco]

SnapT how’s it going?

We’ve got the last ultrasound on the schedule. Trying to tie up loose ends and decide whether we use a doula or not. Excitement is definitely palpable.

[Choss Jonger, Sr.]

I felt my child-to-be kick my hand - TAP-TAP-TAP - through my partner’s belly four nights ago. I’m glad that I was seated as the whole world changed in that instant. I have been insanely safety-focused with my partner since then, perpetually offering “dad’s safety seconds”, checking the hvac and electrical and painting and shelving and preparing the nursery.

I finally understand my purpose on this earth.

Cheers to you all, dads. This is the best.

[SkiLyft]

Heck yeah buddy,

We are soaking up the moments where we are a family of 3!!



Sub 4 weeks till #2 arrives!


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[lowsparkco]

I felt my child-to-be kick my hand - TAP-TAP-TAP - through my partner’s belly four nights ago. I’m glad that I was seated as the whole world changed in that instant. I have been insanely safety-focused with my partner since then, perpetually offering “dad’s safety seconds”, checking the hvac and electrical and painting and shelving and preparing the nursery.

I finally understand my purpose on this earth.

Cheers to you all, dads. This is the best.

Nice! I felt my first kicks last night. Fun times!

[The Reverend Floater]

A little stoke for you all. My 7 y/o daughter getting her worm on.

https://youtube.com/shorts/vfGj08OWbKQ?feature=share

[lowsparkco]

A little stoke for you all. My 7 y/o daughter getting her worm on.

https://youtube.com/shorts/vfGj08OWbKQ?feature=share

That’s great!

I had a group of 7 six year olds for 6 hours today, so that’s pretty much what I looked at all day.

Your little girl is getting it figured out!

[Hopeless Sinner]

A little stoke for you all. My 7 y/o daughter getting her worm on.

https://youtube.com/shorts/vfGj08OWbKQ?feature=share

Good skiing right there!!!

[The Reverend Floater]

Good skiing right there!!!

Man, you know how it is here.

On one hand, if she skied like that when/where I grew up, I'd be thinking we had a possible scholarship coming our way. But around here, the kids are all athletic freaks with psycho parents who put their kids in DH suits on the bunny hill. Fuck that. I figure any kid who grows up skiing 2-5 days a week is bound to be a ripper as an adult. She already skis better than her teenage cousins and she laughs almost the whole day. It's all about smiles per mile in this family and she LOVES skiing.

[snapt]

SnapT how’s it going?

We’ve got the last ultrasound on the schedule. Trying to tie up loose ends and decide whether we use a doula or not. Excitement is definitely palpable.

6 weeks has totally flown by. It's been cool to see Graham transform from a helpless little being to a helpless aware being with big personality. He seems ahead of a lot of benchmarks for his age...he rolled over not long ago, holds his head up from any position for long periods, is eating bigger quantities and is constantly tracking anything exciting and grasping for the dogs, showing signs of teething

He's a touch colicy, we started supplementing with formula which has helped keep up with his appetite. Getting into a good night time routine and figuring out all the positions to help him off load some gas has been huge. The last week or so he's been sleeping through the nights with one feed and change, awesome for our sanity. Just be the best support team you can be for the other half as there's a lot on her shoulders for sure. I've been able to sneak in a few powder days and hunted the dogs for an hour here and there.

I'm pretty stoked to do all the dad outdoor things but have to catch myself not wishing this stage away too fast. The only changes would be I wish I'd done this sooner and maybe picking a warmer time of year.

Rev we enjoyed your ski video and your FL video where she was duck calling.

[SkiLyft]

I'm pretty stoked to do all the dad outdoor things but have to catch myself not wishing this stage away too fast

This resonates, I remind myself of this too!




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[::: :::]

And a few short years later they get bigger than their mamas…
Enjoy the days gentlemen

[Hopeless Sinner]

Man, you know how it is here.

On one hand, if she skied like that when/where I grew up, I'd be thinking we had a possible scholarship coming our way. But around here, the kids are all athletic freaks with psycho parents who put their kids in DH suits on the bunny hill. Fuck that. I figure any kid who grows up skiing 2-5 days a week is bound to be a ripper as an adult. She already skis better than her teenage cousins and she laughs almost the whole day. It's all about smiles per mile in this family and she LOVES skiing.

Smiles per mile is a very sensible goal, she can always go racing later if that's what she wants.

[Core Shot]

And a few short years later they get bigger than their mamas…
Enjoy the days gentlemen

Yep. Kids put an odometer on your own life.

Best of days.

[yeahman]

And then they're off to college and you're getting texts like this when you're skiing hardpack at your local hill. [emoji2957] But you're happy you taught them something they can enjoy the rest of their life.

[Norseman]

And then they're off to college and you're getting texts like this when you're skiing hardpack at your local hill. [emoji2957] But you're happy you taught them something they can enjoy the rest of their life.

Right on, yeahman. I moved from MT to WA a dozen years ago after college, and that season it snowed like 650 inches at Crystal... of the 15% maritime silky surfspackle, too, not the 5% continental smoke. Blew my mind. Stoked for your daughter! She'll have a blast exploring the skiing out here. When are you gonna come ski?

Recent milestone for my lil family: all four of us on the slopes together for the first time!

[Buzzworthy]

Recent milestone for my lil family: all four of us on the slopes together for the first time!

So awesome, doesn’t get better than that! You have a sweet family.

[yeahman]

Right on, yeahman. I moved from MT to WA a dozen years ago after college, and that season it snowed like 650 inches at Crystal... of the 15% maritime silky surfspackle, too, not the 5% continental smoke. Blew my mind. Stoked for your daughter! She'll have a blast exploring the skiing out here. When are you gonna come ski?

Recent milestone for my lil family: all four of us on the slopes together for the first time!

Coming out there to ski with her end of February. The plan is to ski Crystal the 25th and Alpental the 26th. Also planning to hit Lookout, Silver, and Mt. Spokane on the trip out/back. Psyched for a road trip.

And great to hear about the fam skiing all together! Quite a milestone. Doesn't get much better than that.

[bio-smear]

This thread has been...therapeutic. I guess. Was gonna use an alias but fuck it. Many of the names here are like old friends. Not really, but the usernames are comforting. if anything this post will reveal the depths of bio-smear's uselessness as I bring the mood down to the shitter.

Fatherhood for me has been rough. To the point that I wish I hadn't done it. Just having that feeling makes me feel like shit. I used to be this effective person professionally who was embarking on a second exciting career, I had hobbies I enjoyed, and I think I was a better husband. I'm not a bad dad and I try but the whole experience has fucked my brain. Like early onset dementia "fucked." Initially the sleep deprivation was the kids but now it's all on me as I stay up really late to take advantage of a quiet house, then get 5 hours sleep a night.

So 7.5 years on, with 2 of them and we are exhausted constantly. Can't think. Can't perform. I dive into micro-hobbies like building electronics kits and raging on my synthesizers as an escape, a way to cope somehow and try to exercise my brain so it doesn't become complete mush. I am self aware enough to realize I am very depressed and try to reason my way out of it by looking forward to a time when I won't be sidelined but little has changed even though much has changed in the situation. We moved 1800 miles and packed the whole show into a smaller house which didn't help. I'm almost 50 and there's more runway behind than ahead.

The magic of kids growing up and learning and being awed by the world is not lost on me. It is a wonderful thing and I am happy to impart upon them my knowledge and experience in life. And it would work a lot better if they could fucking stop fighting for 5 minutes to chill the fuck out and pay attention (sisters, 7 & 5.)

There are people out there who are so fucking excited about being parents and they make me want to puke. Youtubers raising kids and homeschooling and <violent vomiting> acting all happy and shit about it. My bitterness knows no bounds and I hate that about myself. I could use some Xanax or some shit but I'd lose my pilot medical for an indefinite amount of time and this would all get worse. This rant could easily be 10X this long with a lot of info that would make it all make more sense, and even make it seem like a more wholesome existential crisis but I think this has been cathartic enough.

Anyway, cute kids everybody and stoked to see them sending it! Here are my insufferable little shits:

[Core Shot]

Fuck bio. That sucks.

My kids have had ups and downs. But the best thing ever.
Ain’t all sunshine up your asshole.

Your situation sounds deep. Counseling talk therapy might help. I don’t know.
Kids are stressful and expensive.

Imagine their life without you. So sad.

Imagine your life without them ever being born
Yeah. More ski. More party. But more satisfying?

Hang in there.

[Buzzworthy]

I’d say you’re just as normal as the rest of the dads here. Sometimes it’s not at all fun and can be soul sucking. And I only had one.

You are far from alone man.

[Core Shot]

Those are the cutest insufferable little shits I’ve ever seen.

Be strong for them. Reach out for help as needed.

[Hopeless Sinner]

This thread has been...therapeutic. I guess. Was gonna use an alias but fuck it. Many of the names here are like old friends. Not really, but the usernames are comforting. if anything this post will reveal the depths of bio-smear's uselessness as I bring the mood down to the shitter.

Fatherhood for me has been rough. To the point that I wish I hadn't done it. Just having that feeling makes me feel like shit. I used to be this effective person professionally who was embarking on a second exciting career, I had hobbies I enjoyed, and I think I was a better husband. I'm not a bad dad and I try but the whole experience has fucked my brain. Like early onset dementia "fucked." Initially the sleep deprivation was the kids but now it's all on me as I stay up really late to take advantage of a quiet house, then get 5 hours sleep a night.

So 7.5 years on, with 2 of them and we are exhausted constantly. Can't think. Can't perform. I dive into micro-hobbies like building electronics kits and raging on my synthesizers as an escape, a way to cope somehow and try to exercise my brain so it doesn't become complete mush. I am self aware enough to realize I am very depressed and try to reason my way out of it by looking forward but little has changed even though much has changed in the situation. We moved 1800 miles and packed the whole show into a smaller house which didn't help.

The magic of kids growing up and learning and being awed by the world is not lost on me. It is a wonderful thing and I am happy to impart upon them my knowledge and experience in life. And it would work a lot better if they could fucking stop fighting for 5 minutes to chill the fuck out and pay attention (sisters, 7 & 5.)

There are people out there who are so fucking excited about being parents and they make me want to puke. Youtubers raising kids and homeschooling and <violent vomiting> acting all happy and shit about it. My bitterness knows no bounds and I hate that about myself. I could use some Xanax or some shit but I'd lose my pilot medical for an indefinite amount of time and this would all get worse. This rant could easily be 10X this long with a lot of info that would make it all make more sense, but I think this has been cathartic enough.

Anyway, cute kids everybody and stoked to see them sending it!

Man that sounds rough. Have you considered family counseling?

[altasnob]

TGR, like facebook, and the rest of the internet, is full of people trying to make their life look perfect when it's not perfect. No parents I know are crushing it. It turns your brain and body to mush, fucks your career, fucks you hobbies. Those who disagree probably have live in nannies or a spouse or family member who does all the heavy lifting. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy being a parent but I treat it as a job, and treat my kids like they're little soldiers.

[lowsparkco]

I’m feeling for you bio-smear. I’ve really tried to stay tuned in to where I am while going through the pregnancy, it’s okay to be frustrated and depressed. Hopefully acknowledging those things will help you find some resources that can help.

Sometimes we simply take pleasure in the age old adage, “this too shall pass.” They will mature, they will calm down, they will grow more attentive.

I teach skiing to those aged kids and sometimes they completely overwhelm me. They switch between fantasy and a real life that is frought with being emotionally overloaded on a dime. But, ultimately I find that enough cajoling and leveling with them and they’ll come around.

Try and get back into a regular sleep pattern. I did a deep dive into sleep hygiene, black out curtains, ear plugs if necessary, cooler temps in the bedroom, no screen time for an hour before bed. I also picked up Transcendental Meditation and that really helps when I feel depression and anxiety worsening in my life. Reach out if you need someone to listen. PM me. I’ll lend you an ear.