Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[schuss]

At 2, kids understand that they want some things more than others, but are easily distracted.
At 3, they want them, remember and don't understand why cake all the time is bad. Just gotta work through it with patience as Schralp said. 3 is basically your friends drunk at 3 in the morning - they possess some level of reasoning and awareness, they just aren't actively using it unless reminded and have zero clue around emotional regulation. Help em out and give them tools to understand themselves.

If you've read the rock warriors way, the observer position is a good place to start.

All that said - fucking threenagers.

[riser4]

Fucking teenagers. My youngest is 19 and in a frat. The weekend after school got out for Christmas break, he stopped at our house, hopped in someone else's car and 40 frat brothers spent the weekend in Montreal in an air bnb that sleeps 10. Monday morning at 6:30 am he texted my wife "I think I broke my arm" and then he went radio silent. I figured he was sleeping it off. My wife was ready to drive the 70 minutes up there and go looking for him. I was right. And his arm wasn't broken.

[SkiLyft]

^^fak… gunna enjoy these years when all that matters is packing enough snacks…

[riser4]

^^fak… gunna enjoy these years when all that matters is packing enough snacks…

That's adorable! I remember days like that.

[The Reverend Floater]

At 2, kids understand that they want some things more than others, but are easily distracted.
At 3, they want them, remember and don't understand why cake all the time is bad. Just gotta work through it with patience as Schralp said. 3 is basically your friends drunk at 3 in the morning - they possess some level of reasoning and awareness, they just aren't actively using it unless reminded and have zero clue around emotional regulation. Help em out and give them tools to understand themselves.

If you've read the rock warriors way, the observer position is a good place to start.

All that said - fucking threenagers.

Well said.

We did BATTLE with our younger daughter through 4.5 years, especially about bedtime. Then two things happened that were game changing for us:

1. Right around 4, I became a bit alarmed at how frequently my daughter started getting ear infections. Then it occurred to me: I walked up to her and whispered her name to no reaction. Tried a bit more volume, no reaction. One ENT visit later and she was scheduled to get tubes in her ears because she was constantly all gummed up and the MD said she was likely short 40% of her hearing and in constant discomfort . A few weeks after the surgery and she was noticeably different. She was quite likely in pain or discomfort and simply didn’t know any different which was her fuel to a 3 year old emotional tender box.

2. We really leaned into empowering her to recognize when she was out of control of her emotions. After that, usually in the evening, she would often start to melt but also state she was having “big emotions”. Her own recognition helped immensely. We gave her some space and she learned to calm down. Moral of the story is that you pointing out their behavior is the longer road. Then them learning to recognize their own emotions and resulting behavior changes everything.

Grace will always be high octane but now it’s high energy fun, which is a lot better than the alternative.


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[schuss]

This just reminded me of something really important:
parents of toddlers and up, make sure you spend the time with your kids to describe and name emotions. Mad is very different than frustrated, but if they don't have the names they can't tell you. We spent a bunch of time with our kids on it and helps a lot in being on the same page around causes and solutions.

[The Reverend Floater]

Stoke bump.

9 y/o daughter ripping pow with me was all time fun. Sincerely the best yet.



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[tgapp]

Stoke bump.

9 y/o daughter ripping pow with me was all time fun. Sincerely the best yet.



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fuck yeah

holding on to this future possibility as we struggle through infancy

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[Buzzworthy]

My daughter never enjoyed skiing or sports. But she was just accepted as an RA next year at the UofU. She aced her interview with a one hundred percent score.
That’s free room and board for the year. And the large meal plan.
I’m very stoked for her and what she’s going to do in life.
She’s super happy to save more of her college funds for med school.


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[The Reverend Floater]

fuck yeah

holding on to this future possibility as we struggle through infancy

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Seriously. Turns out, it's all very worth it on days like today.

Buzz--the kid in the photo has lost enough gloves and socks to put herself through med school, so consider yourself lucky.

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[Buzzworthy]

So you’re in agreement they are expensive as all hell, but oh so worth it.


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[riser4]

Seriously. Turns out, it's all very worth it on days like today.

Buzz--the kid in the photo has lost enough gloves and socks to put herself through med school, so consider yourself lucky.

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Heh. Losing shit. I was way worse as a kid at leaving a trail of stuff behind me than all of my three kids combined. And my parents were the opposite of wealthy, so it definitely hurt. Of course my kids didn't like that if they forgot to bring something home then we were all going on a road trip to find it, instead of dinner or whatever fun activity. I'm way better now, but only because I rarely smoke tge debil's lettuce anymore and I intentionally keep track of most of my stuff, which us exhaysting. My wife definitely leaves a trail, mostly sweaters or fleece jackets. Partly due to The Pause. All five of us have ADHD in degrees from OMG how do you even function??? All the way to really, really bad.

Swim goggles. That's what my kids lost the most of. Those fucking things are practically one and done.

[Hopeless Sinner]

"All five of us have ADHD in degrees from OMG how do you even function??? All the way to really, really bad."Bringing it! ROFLOL

[muted reborn]

She's got good form Rev!

I had one of the best ski days of my life with my 10 year old girl last week. It wasn't because the snow was good.

[Hopeless Sinner]

Rev was that inbounds today? Looks really good!

[The Reverend Floater]

Rev was that inbounds today? Looks really good!

Yes sir. Top of Lefty's. It was dense pow which was great because there was only around 10". We rolled up right as the rope dropped.

I tell Riley that on pow days, she's lucky to be a midget.

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[Hopeless Sinner]

^^^Very cool! I was in Mayday at the same time. It was fun day even though my ski buddy was at GT w her boyfriend.

[muted reborn]

To all: I don't recommend voice lessons for young kids unless they show talent for it. Unlike a piano or trumpet, they can practice anytime.

Practice isn't improving anything.

[skaredshtles]

To all: I don't recommend voice lessons for young kids unless they show talent for it. Unlike a piano or trumpet, they can practice anytime.

Practice isn't improving anything.

...

[bagtagley]

[emoji638]][emoji640][emoji639]][emoji638][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]]][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji640]][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji639]][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji6[emoji640][emoji637]]][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji639]]]To all: I don't recommend voice lessons for young kids unless they show talent for it. Unlike a piano or trumpet, they can practice anytime.

Practice isn't improving anything.

Heh. What about tuba? It’s always either loud or in the way. The drum set is similar I suppose but it weirdly doesn’t bother me.

[shroom]

what’s it tuba?

[Art Shirk]

This is becoming a reality. Satans Trifecta.

Me and the dog are hunkering down


https://youtu.be/IdSqWVidE2k?si=tlx-l_9nI0p7fs1B


Goddamn links broken. Where are the mods?
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[Mazderati]

It's not a tubaaa.

[californiagrown]

My 3.5yr old just figured out how to be mad in the last week or so. Before, when he was mad, it was just a crying tantrum meltdown per every toddler ever... but now he is fully conscious that he is mad, he verbalizes that he is mad, and he is looking for things to do to show that he is mad (throw/smash toys, push things off counters, running away, halfassed attempts at hitting mommy and me). Kinda cute, pretty annoying. Due to work and social stuff ive been taking care of him in the afternoon/evenings mostly solo the last 7/10 days and last night my wife finally had to deal with one of his moods on her own while i cooked dinner... he proceeded to headbutt her in the face about 2 minutes in (shes not allowed to wrestle him because she cant even protect herself there) and she immediately tapped out so i ended up finishing dinner while simultaneously working through emotions and choices with my boy. My wife gets overstimulated easily, especially with his crying/whining/tantrums and so it feels like most "difficult" things fall to me- teaching him to ski, ride a bike, ball sports, how to dress himself, handling his bigger tantrums, etc. It can get frustrating knowing that when she spends time solo with him its all geared toward just making him happy int he moment (ice cream trips, inflatable bouncy playgrounds, screentime when he whines, special foods, carrying him when whining, etc), while much of what i do solo with him is geared more toward teaching him things and "personal growth" which is really rewarding for both of us, but can also be really tough at times. Its also built a rapport/relationship between me and my kid where both of us are better (or at least experienced) at dealing with his emotions, while it seems as though my wife mostly just tries to curate a world to avoid any negative emotions and when it gets tough she is more than happy to tap out and pass him off to me or give in and take the easy road.My philosophy is based around consistency. Expectations and standards are known, and we dont get to break them just because we "don't feel like it". Whining/tantrums do not get you out of expectations/standards. Obviously some wiggle room there for a 3 year old. Lot of second guessing and treading a thin line hoping im doing the best thing for him.

[Danno]

My 14yo daughter got asked to go to one of those bounce house places. By a boy. Who likes her. ACCCKKKKKKK!@^!@&%&!