Text Shaq

[BmillsSkier]

Well, go on now.

[stealurface831]

i'm gonna text shaq!

[BmillsSkier]

Make sure you address him as Doctor.

[Timberridge]

Ask him about the Krispy Kreme fire.

[ötzi]

That's Dr. Big Aristotle to you.

[BmillsSkier]

I prefer Shaq-fu or Shaq Diesel.

[johnnyg82]

i'm gonna text shaq!

What did you say? Did he respond?

[BmillsSkier]

Text him that you're trying to reach him about his car warranty expiring.

[stealurface831]

"Dr. O'neal, I seek your legal counsel in regards to a situation which has arisen in your former stomping grounds of the greater Miami metropolitan area involving the proverbial combination of hookers and blow. Any and all assistance would be greatly appreciated. Perhaps you have some connections in the area from your law enforcement career?"

[BmillsSkier]

I will award 5 points for each of the following that you work into your texts:

* every pseudonym Shaq goes by
* donuts
* Charles Barkley
* Carnival Cruise Lines
* law enforcement
* hip hop career
* shoe size
* Shaq apparel at J.C. Penney
* The Shaq Pack at Burger King
* fire
* Doctor

[stealurface831]

i have only earned 10 points. my response will aim for the full 55.

shaq truly is an american treasure.

[Timberridge]

Based on one of the General commercials he seems to have some sort of beef with Kenny Smith. Can you find out what's going on?

[stealurface831]

Based on one of the General commercials he seems to have some sort of beef with Kenny Smith. Can you find out what's going on?

i am on it. shaq and i will work to resolve this.

[BmillsSkier]

Kenny Smith seems like a nice guy, if anyone, Shaq should fight Charles on the next NBA on TNT.

[bennymac]

You should also try to include a Kazam movie reference (or maybe a “Blue Chips” one)

[BmillsSkier]

Ask him what you're most likely to catch on a Carnival Cruise: Norovirus, Covid or a screening of Grown Ups 2?

[CarlMega]

that number goes to Rick Astley's phone. Shaq revenge.

[BmillsSkier]

[EWG]

Ask if Barkley ever told him where those weapons of mass destruction were at.

[zion zig zag]

I will award 5 points for each of the following that you work into your texts:

* every pseudonym Shaq goes by
* donuts
* Charles Barkley
* Carnival Cruise Lines
* law enforcement
* hip hop career
* shoe size
* Shaq apparel at J.C. Penney
* The Shaq Pack at Burger King
* fire
* Doctor

Nothing about Buick?
https://www.sportscasting.com/shaqui...o-think-about/

[stealurface831]

Nothing about Buick?
https://www.sportscasting.com/shaqui...o-think-about/

oh yeah, gotta be something about buick.

[BmillsSkier]

Buick has a history of making strange choices with its spokespeople; like athletes that have nothing in common with actual Buick buyers.

Why Buick just didn't grab a couple elderlies from central casting and save themselves millions is beyond me.

[RootSkier]

My brother is 42 and drives a Buick.

He lives in Tampa though, so it checks out.

[muted]

I'm disappointed the texts don't go to Rontele

[BmillsSkier]

My brother is 42 and drives a Buick.

He lives in Tampa though, so it checks out.

I got an Enclave as a rental sometime last year and I have to admit, it was a very nice crossover that seated a ton of people and their luggage with enough bells and whistles to shake a stick at. I don't think I'd buy it though.