Sobriety, V2.

[stealurface831]

timely bump.

i'm not sure on the date but i know i'm coming up on a year here in a few weeks. came to a realization that what i was doing wasn't adolescent debauchery anymore and that i wouldn't grow out of it. liver enzymes were through the roof and my pancreas felt like there was a dagger sticking through it and i started getting palpitations and finally realized that i wasn't shaving weeks or months off my life; i was swinging the maul and splitting off years. got to the point where i was staring down the barrel of my latent mortality and i didn't like it and so i quit. no detox or programs or anything like that. i just quit. it was hard and i was probably ill-advised in doing it on my own and i don't really remember any of the first few weeks but i know i still functioned and got through it and looked back and realized how fucked up i was and didn't want to be that way again. whole lot more to the story and things got way worse before they got better and i truly lost my mind a few months in but i stayed sober and here i am a year on, finally getting back in shape and reengaging with friends and dedicating myself to doing what i need to do to carve out a career doing what i love and sometimes feeling content.

[riser4]

timely bump.

i'm not sure on the date but i know i'm coming up on a year here in a few weeks. came to a realization that what i was doing wasn't adolescent debauchery anymore and that i wouldn't grow out of it. liver enzymes were through the roof and my pancreas felt like there was a dagger sticking through it and i started getting palpitations and finally realized that i wasn't shaving weeks or months off my life; i was swinging the maul and splitting off years. got to the point where i was staring down the barrel of my latent mortality and i didn't like it and so i quit. no detox or programs or anything like that. i just quit. it was hard and i was probably ill-advised in doing it on my own and i don't really remember any of the first few weeks but i know i stilled functioned and got through it and looked back and realized how fucked up i was and didn't to be that way again. whole lot more to the story and things got way worse before they got better and i truly lost my mind a few months in but i stayed sober and here i am a year on, finally getting back in shape and reengaging with friends and dedicating myself to doing what i need to do to carve out a career doing what i love and sometimes feeling content.

Word. Hopefully no hydraulic turtles were harmed during this episode. Glad you are still with us.

[stealurface831]

Word. Hopefully no hydraulic turtles were harmed during this episode. Glad you are still with us.

thanks mane. i think i drank some hydraulic fluid along the way.

[m2711c]

nice work, dude. keep on keeping on!

[riser4]

i think i drank some hydraulic fluid along the way.

Dood.

[Peruvian]

thanks mane. i think i drank some hydraulic fluid along the way.

One time I drank some 40 year old Chinese finger liquor that had a bottle that looked like DOT 4 brake fluid.

I think the “finger” was actually a pepper but “finger licker” had us rolling on the ground afterwards.

There is a reason I gave up hard booze a number of years ago.

[tgapp]

timely bump.

i'm not sure on the date but i know i'm coming up on a year here in a few weeks. came to a realization that what i was doing wasn't adolescent debauchery anymore and that i wouldn't grow out of it. liver enzymes were through the roof and my pancreas felt like there was a dagger sticking through it and i started getting palpitations and finally realized that i wasn't shaving weeks or months off my life; i was swinging the maul and splitting off years. got to the point where i was staring down the barrel of my latent mortality and i didn't like it and so i quit. no detox or programs or anything like that. i just quit. it was hard and i was probably ill-advised in doing it on my own and i don't really remember any of the first few weeks but i know i still functioned and got through it and looked back and realized how fucked up i was and didn't want to be that way again. whole lot more to the story and things got way worse before they got better and i truly lost my mind a few months in but i stayed sober and here i am a year on, finally getting back in shape and reengaging with friends and dedicating myself to doing what i need to do to carve out a career doing what i love and sometimes feeling content.

Man, honestly, I am really impressed with your self awareness and your ability to commit to difficult change. A lot of people live their entire lives without that level of wherewithal to effectuate positive change. Keep at it.

Sent from my Pixel 8 Pro using Tapatalk

[byates1]

^ x2 did realize you were hitting hard young man. Hope all's good

[ZomblibulaX]

At what point is quitting cold the more dangerous road than failing the taper schedule over and over again?

Tapering off is like committing to a diet or an exercise regimen; you can keep falling off the wagon, but it's still better for you than not doing anything (with the caveat that folks who are prone to taking a diving header off the wagon/going on major benders when they un-quit are maybe not so better off). But I do think that the best way for most of us to create a new habit and change our behavior is to have some real accountability. I totally agree with the tele-health calls to someone back in the states; you'll have to get up early to make it work and that might be a real good way to start the day. But you'll need someone at the end of the day to keep your ass in check till you can do it yourself.

Per DTs: There was always somebody coming off when I was in the joint, and there was a pretty familiar pattern regardless of the substance/s. Two or three nights, no sleep, pain and suffering. Then things would get better and guys would be able to sit through a game of euchre and hold a conversation. Then after a few days it would get bad again, but never as bad as at first, and after a couple weeks they were pretty straightened out. Yeah, people did end up in the infirmary, and even the ER, but those guys were coming off some horrendous shit at levels that would kill livestock. It'll probably suck, but not as bad as dying of cirrhosis or losing everything you have, and the effects are much more short term than where you're likely headed if you don't quit.

My decision got made for me, but the commitment was 100% my own. For a while, any time I thought about getting lit, I just had to remember all the idiots in lockup that just wanted to get out so they could get high again and end up right back there. Now I just don't have to think about it anymore, and it didn't take as long as you might imagine to get there. Quitting is the easy part, even cold turkey. Sticking with it is where you need the help. You can do it.

[Gepeto]

Timely bump...

Eloquent words in their own right

Hindsight tells you, taking the challenge on your own wasn't the preferred path, but how indelible is your view from this side? You've got some crystal clear vision mang.

Mortality makes for a strange bedfellow

[CallMeAl]

Thanks for sharing that article Danno, and your experience SUF. 9/27 will be a year for me. Doing it solo as well, against the recommendations from others who have found success in programs.

Like the author of the NYT article, I wasn't ready for the baggage that comes with abandoning a nearly lifelong pass-time. Not drinking turned out to be the easy part. There is so much social awkwardness that comes with the decision- anticipated or not, inward and outward. It's good to remember that any activity is awkward at first- and socializing without alcohol is not excluded. It's rare to be truly good at something that is totally new without a lot of practice.

For me, quitting drinking also coincided with a knee injury/poorly done surgery/extended recovery. For a while there I felt like I had "lost" my entire social life- which solely consisted of outdoor sports and going to the bar afterwards.

This new void made me incredibly angry at myself and the world around me. I was mad that I had put myself in such a shitty situation- not being able to moderate as well as I'd like, and that the only way to fix it was with a shitty solution- a boring life of loneliness.

About 6 months in, a friend shared the phrase "Progress, not perfection." with me. For some reason that really resonated and helped me find some clarity. I just had work to do, that's all. I stopped beating myself up so badly. There wasn't any reason to be mad, embarrassed, or scared. Nobody took anything from me- not even myself. More importantly; for this to really work, I needed to frame this as an opportunity, not a shitty situation where I am both the assailant and the victim.

Things have been much easier and all around better since I changed my approach. Not rainbows and butterflies, but way more manageable. I think I would have come to this conclusion much faster in a program, but organized anything just really isn't my cup of tea.

Reading other thoughts and experiences on here helped/helps me big time. Seriously, thank you to all who have shared.

[seano732]

50 days today. Thanks for all the mags that reached out. Keep on keeping on.

[byates1]

FKNA

[rideit]

Yeah, bud, keep it rolling!

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

50 days today. Thanks for all the mags that reached out. Keep on keeping on.

Fuck yeah dood!

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[mcski]

50 days today. Thanks for all the mags that reached out. Keep on keeping on.

Congrats, dude. That’s awesome. That shit ain’t easy.

[bogusbill]

50 days today. Thanks for all the mags that reached out. Keep on keeping on.

Congrats, keep it rollin

[bogusbill]

50 days today. Thanks for all the mags that reached out. Keep on keeping on.

Congrats, keep it rollin

[buttahflake]

50 days is about when my sleep started to get incredibly good.
Keep on

[stealurface831]

good shit seano. strength and honor.

[skiJ]

-face -

( I) always hope the best for You -

You can be Proud for a year of sobriety ! And

Yes! build a career doing something you love ! and find that "content" -ment !


Peace, my friend

tj

[TWINS]

Just knocked out 2 years Alcohol Free.
Happy to see others following the path.
I drank for a number of reasons.
One of those reasons was if I felt uncomfortable where I was at.
Someone in my addiction group told me to

" get comfortable being uncomfortable ".

Thats the key to stopping the voice telling you to grab a beer when out socializing.
Once you get comfortable you don't need that beer anymore to sedate the anxiety.
That also tied into my skiing.
I couldn't imagine skiing without drinking.
How can I loosen up on the hill without alcohol?
All bullshit I imagined in my mind that was proven to be a lie.
I made myself ski without drinking or doing any drugs.
Now I can't imagine skiing while drunk or stoned.
And I ski so much better too sober.
Anyway, get comfortable being uncomfortable.
That shuts up the voice in your head.

[SoVT Joey]

Ya, well I guess jail will get a person sober. Fuck I’m dumb.


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[byates1]

You clinked up?

[m2711c]

that’s one way of doin’ it…

good luck.





fact.