Ancestry DNA test told me I have a sibling

**Parvo** · 08-08-2019, 03:57 PM

I took the Ancestry DNA test because I’m adopted without any background on my biological parents – beyond they were obviously Canadian royalty or participated in some secret Canadian super-baby breeding lab.

Anyway, the results show a list of other Ancestry clients who I’m related to, mostly 3rd, 4th cousins, etc. But this morning I was notified one person is likely a sibling. Mind blown. I’m on the fence whether to contact them or not. I don’t really care to, but curious what they look like. Also, the biological parents may have never told anyone they had a baby when they were kids and adopted it off to parents in the US. Apparently, up through the mid-70s, the Canuks were pretty awful with taking kids from families in crisis and selling them to wealthy US parents wanting white kids, mostly to barren Hollywood actresses or closeted actors looking to use children as their family beard.

**Fritz** · 08-08-2019, 04:09 PM

You kinda have to reach out, yeah? That’s what they do in the movies.

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**Danno** · 08-08-2019, 04:15 PM

If this is the movies, then the missing sibling has to be Coach.

**jm2e** · 08-08-2019, 04:18 PM

What if it's someone you banged once? That'd totally be a movie theme..... produced by the Padded Room.

**iceman** · 08-08-2019, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

I took the Ancestry DNA test because I’m adopted without any background on my biological parents – beyond they were obviously Canadian royalty or participated in some secret Canadian super-baby breeding lab.

"Or"?? I'm sure it's "and".

Impossible for someone else to say what you should do. After all, you know your deal as it is, and adding this person will likely either make things better or worse. But which? No clue here. You're gonna have to go by your gut.

Would this person have the same info now?

**AK47bp** · 08-08-2019, 04:34 PM

What if the sibling is a deadbeat and asks to sleep on your couch? What if your the deadbeat and the sibling is freaking out that you will make contact?

Do it!!

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**huckbucket** · 08-08-2019, 04:37 PM

Do you have a club thumb?

**SumJongGuy** · 08-08-2019, 04:42 PM

Way better than finding out you have a kid(s) you didn't know about. Go ahead and follow up, you may need a kidney someday... or be asked to give them one of yours??

**PNWbrit** · 08-08-2019, 04:48 PM

The poor bastard.

**m2711c** · 08-08-2019, 05:17 PM

sibling may have sweet skiing setups..... worth checking.

**mtngirl79** · 08-08-2019, 05:27 PM

I bet they know or suspect and that's why they did the DNA thing.

**babybear** · 08-08-2019, 06:08 PM

maybe they will reach out first and then you don't have to agonize,
since I assume they would have also gotten the same notification?

I hope they have a helicopter

**Flyoverland Captive** · 08-08-2019, 06:27 PM

I found out I have a cousin no one knew about via 123 and Me. A first cousin did the test, and found out he was a match for a woman in San Francisco, where my aunt lived. Seems she had a daughter nobody new about. It’s been pretty cool to get to know her; spitting image of my aunt, who passed years ago.

Do it, knowledge is a good thing.

**BmillsSkier** · 08-08-2019, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by Danno

If this is the movies, then the missing sibling has to be Coach.

RIP Coach.

Parvo, whatever you do, make sure you post about it here.

Even if Digitaldrew is your kid bro.

**old goat** · 08-08-2019, 06:59 PM

Not nearly the same thing but we found out we had 2nd cousins we didn't know about when my sister in law sent an email to her daughter, wrote the address wrong, and it wound up going to one of the cousins. We got in touch, exchanged a little info, met once and then dropped it. I have lots of second cousins I don't bother with anyway.

**JimmyCarter** · 08-08-2019, 07:09 PM

Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive

I found out I have a cousin no one knew about via 123 and Me.

Carrying more than a few extra chromosomes?

**TBS** · 08-08-2019, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

Apparently, up through the mid-70s, the Canuks were pretty awful with taking kids from families in crisis and selling them to wealthy US parents wanting white kids, mostly to barren Hollywood actresses or closeted actors looking to use children as their family beard.

So, which adopted you?

You never know what happens when you shake the family tree. Ms TBS dug into my family tree (more like a bush with all the multiple marriages) and found that my racist father’s maternal grandmother was the offspring of an Irish indentured servant and a west African slave who met on a sugar plantation in Barbados. A touching story - he stayed behind after his contract was up to work for wages to buy her out of slavery, then they moved to Canada.

Dad was shocked when we told him, and the touching story of John & Mary Carter’s love was sort of lost on him. But my wife, kids, siblings and their kids all reveled in the irony.

When deciding whether to reach out, just remember- you don’t get to pick your relatives. So what if you are the love child of an alcoholic son of a Canadian Prime Minister and a midget hooker? I’d take that over being a Trump.

**Ottime** · 08-08-2019, 08:19 PM

If you mostly curious about what he looks like, why not just stalk him. Then you don’t need to worry about the awkwardness of actually meeting, but you’ll get a good visual.

**mud** · 08-08-2019, 08:33 PM

What if they owned a drapery cleaning business?
Imagine the profits!

**dunfree** · 08-08-2019, 08:36 PM

Originally Posted by TBS

So what if you are the love child of an alcoholic son of a Canadian Prime Minister and a midget hooker? I’d take that over being a Trump.

Why not both?

**Micol** · 08-08-2019, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by AK47bp

What if the sibling is a deadbeat and asks to sleep on your couch? What if your the deadbeat and the sibling is freaking out that you will make contact?

Do it!!

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what if they won a $500 million dollar powerball, spent it all and went broke , wound up destitute and addicted, found sobriety, clawed their way back, and now post on this forum? what then....did you ever think of that?

KQ · 08-08-2019, 09:33 PM

Dicey. Gonna depend a lot on you and how open you are to looking into Pandora's box.

I'm adopted. My birth mother tried to contact me about 15yrs ago but I didn't want to go there for many reasons. She wrote me a letter which was forwarded on through an agency that finds adoptees. It was nice enough but I had to laugh as she seemed as cagey about it as I was not revealing too much. I do know that she never had any other children (said so in her letter). No clue about my father or how I came to be.

I've seen many many shows over the years about reunions gone bad from kids finding out their mother had a child they didn't know about and excitedly aiding in the reunion only to find out the child was the result of a violent rape. The mother totally freaked out - dredging it up triggered PTSD. Saw another one where there were many siblings adopted out and no one knew each other, a couple ended up getting together if you know what I mean only to find out they were brother and sister.

In my own adopted family I had a cousin who gave a son up and years later he found her. It was great for a while then turned sour.

On the positive note I've known two or three people who have found their birth families with good results. Seems to be a roll of the dice and as I said, you just need to know yourself and be aware of what you're getting into.