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Thread: Things That Amuse You
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05-02-2021, 04:37 PM #1676I drink it up
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Things That Amuse You
My 10yo asked me why some of the plumbing fittings were male and some were female. Blanked on a good way to explain why they used those terms, though I did explain which were which. She’ll figure it out.
I showed a few far side comics to my 14yo. He proceeded to make fun of my “old people memes”.focus.
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05-02-2021, 04:41 PM #1677
Mud butt annoys me.
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05-02-2021, 04:42 PM #1678"fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
"She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
"everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy
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05-03-2021, 04:58 AM #1679
amusing
I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.
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05-03-2021, 09:49 AM #1680
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05-03-2021, 09:53 AM #1681
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05-07-2021, 04:21 PM #1682
"911, what's your emergency"
"There's a sailboat flipped over in Donner Lake, the guy can't get it righted, he's been in the water a long time and I don't think he's wearing a wet suit."
"What color is the boat?"
What color is the boat? Seriously
(They wound up sending 6 vehicles, fire and PD, ambulance, fire engine and they were planning to put a boat in the water. Meanwhile, after I yelled to the guy to lower his sails, he was able to get the boat to stay upright and get in. He then drifted with the wind the length of the lake and I assume beached at the east end. He was sitting up last I could see him so I assume he's fine, but it was a cool windy day and the water is very cold--people have fallen out of boats in the spring and died.)
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05-07-2021, 04:59 PM #1683Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2021
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- 2,900
I use my work dumpster for household trash sometimes. I came out back last week and my kids pink camp chair and castle have been claimed.
This week I threw two bushes into the dumpster with thorns so nasty and big they went through my work gloves when I tried to pick one up. Ouch. 3 hours later some dude on a bike took them out my dumpster and biked away with them. I don't know what the black market is for thorn bushes with all the roots chopped off, but I hope he's able to buy a dinner from it.
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05-07-2021, 05:14 PM #1684
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05-09-2021, 06:03 PM #1685
Mother's day card as dictated by a friend's 3yo, written by his teacher.
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05-10-2021, 05:57 PM #1686I drink it up
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- Oct 2002
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- my own little world
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- 5,879
Things That Amuse You
Headline in my newsfeed: Tiger caught on video roaming Houston neighborhood.
The hook below the headline: An off-duty sheriff’s deputy saw the tiger and held it at gunpoint until another person came to take the wildcat away.
HELD IT AT GUNPOINT?!focus.
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05-10-2021, 06:50 PM #1687
Halt!
Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
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05-10-2021, 07:10 PM #1688
the tiger was black.
swing your fucking sword.
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05-10-2021, 09:11 PM #1689
My first thought was that I didn't think Tiger's leg was healed enough for him to be roaming a neighborhood. I could see a cop holding him at gunpoint though.
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05-10-2021, 09:16 PM #1690
https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/10/us/ho...rnd/index.html
apparently the tiger's whereabouts are not known at this time. the alleged owner is also an alleged murderer who is free on bond. i love this story.swing your fucking sword.
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05-10-2021, 11:19 PM #1691
Google translate is super cool technology, but the reflections can fuck it up a bit.
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05-11-2021, 05:46 AM #1692I drink it up
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- Oct 2002
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- my own little world
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- 5,879
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05-11-2021, 07:49 AM #1693
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05-11-2021, 08:44 AM #1694
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05-15-2021, 05:53 PM #1695
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05-16-2021, 01:50 PM #1696Registered User
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- Nov 2008
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- 9,940
Hey - you can't just reach in to any old trash can and grab suitable tape and plastic, ya know.
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05-16-2021, 10:04 PM #1697
shoutout to the teacher that put all my missing assignments in as 100s and brought my failing grade up to a b.
swing your fucking sword.
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05-16-2021, 10:07 PM #1698
The Mariners currently have a no bag policy at the stadium. So what's tomorrow night's promotion? A free Mariners tote bag, of course. I'm picturing them handing you the tote bag at the gate and then someone confiscates it a second later.
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05-16-2021, 10:09 PM #1699
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05-16-2021, 10:12 PM #1700
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