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Thread: Getting out of Jury Duty?

  1. #1
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    Question Getting out of Jury Duty?

    I got summoned for J-duty on the week that I'm supposed to go to Baja. How do I get out of this shit?

    I plan to tell Lumbergh I'm going to Jury duty, ditch that then head to Baja without burning my vacation time?

    Also my DMV info is in So Cal, Voting registration info is in Nor Cal. If I get summoned in either location can I pull the excuse that I live in the other location or do they check that shit?

    If they want me to go to Jury duty then they should have hot naked chicks at the courthouse.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Superstar Punani
    I got summoned for J-duty on the week that I'm supposed to go to Baja. How do I get out of this shit?

    I plan to tell Lumbergh I'm going to Jury duty, ditch that then head to Baja without burning my vacation time?

    Also my DMV info is in So Cal, Voting registration info is in Nor Cal. If I get summoned in either location can I pull the excuse that I live in the other location or do they check that shit?

    If they want me to go to Jury duty then they should have hot naked chicks at the courthouse.
    Rob a bank on your way to Mex, they'll forget about the jury duty.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Superstar Punani
    I got summoned for J-duty on the week that I'm supposed to go to Baja. How do I get out of this shit?

    I plan to tell Lumbergh I'm going to Jury duty, ditch that then head to Baja without burning my vacation time?

    Also my DMV info is in So Cal, Voting registration info is in Nor Cal. If I get summoned in either location can I pull the excuse that I live in the other location or do they check that shit?

    If they want me to go to Jury duty then they should have hot naked chicks at the courthouse.
    Tell them your a student. Worked for me. You think they are going to check?
    I'm in a band. It's called "Just the Tip."

  4. #4
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    I just ignored the summons and it went away. I don't really think it's one of those things that catches up to you later. Of couse, I'm still young. I could be wrong.
    "I smell varmint puntang."

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    If the notice didn't arrive certified or registered, they have no proof you actually received it.

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    Bad back. Cannot sit for prolonged periods.

  7. #7
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    Vets is offline Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
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    Here are a few things you could say in response to questions that might get you excused:
    "I do not believe that this court has proper jurisdiction over this case."
    or
    "If the police arrested him, he must be guilty, why are we even here?"
    or
    "Yes, my family members as well as close friends have been involved in a similar lawsuit."

  8. #8
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    sorry bravo: Jury duty is not an obligation, it is a right. You are fucking yourself by not participating.

    I know it sucks having the high probability of sitting on a fucking MJ trial there but that's the way it goes.
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn

  9. #9
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    You can usually reschedule if you tell them you are going to be out of town on business or something. They'll just bump you back. If that doesn't work, and you do get called on voir dire, say that you don't trust the police (assuming it's a criminal trial).That usually does the trick. If it looks like it's going to be a civil trial then say on the juror questionnaire that you've been sued or sued someone in the last few years; that often will draw a peremptory challenge and a dismissal from duty. Or, like Vets said, if you get to voir dire and they ask if you've been involved in a lawsuit involving X then say that a relative was recently. Warning: I don't know if they check up on that shit.

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    Say you have IBS.

    Drink alot of laxitives beforehand and have "an accident".

    Bonus points- wear white pants for said planned accident.
    "Have fun, get a flyrod, and give the worm dunkers the finger when you start double hauling." ~Lumpy

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    Double bonus points: refer to self in third person as "Johnny Chimpo" and hurl excrement at wall of courtroom while making monkey noises.

  12. #12
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    "Pre-existining business enagement with un-refundable airline tickets". I've used it a couple of times. Offer to re-schedule. Jury duty is something everyone should want to do. If you're on trial, you'll want a "jury of your peers" tollerant to your situation. If everyone like you and me skips it, jurys suck.

  13. #13
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    When I got my original summons, I called in and told them I was a student and could not make it at that time. They moved me forward about a month. When I went in, both attorneys asked the panel many questions. One question, from the D.A. was "do you believe some crimes are a waste of time to prosecute?" I answered yes, and was dismissed soon afterwards. Answer as many questions as possible, as I have been told prosecuters do not like people who are very opinionated, as they make it hard to get a unanimous verdict. I really had to get out of this as I would have had to show up July 5, which would not have been good. Do not be to obvious about not wanting to serve, the judge I had gave us a speech about patriotic duty and did not look kindly on the people who were trying to get out. If you do get a postponement, be careful about lying to your boss, as at some point you may actually have to serve. The people who told the judge they could not serve because of work issues were not released, as the judge felt they should not have a problem with a trial that would only last a couple of days. One guy told the judge he absolutely could not be out of the office, to which the judge replied "so what do you do when you are sick?" That guy is probably sitting in court right now, deciding if some dude flashed some chick that works in a beauty parlor.

  14. #14
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    if they ask if you think MJ's guilty you just say "He made Thriller man, Thriller" -Dave Chappelle
    -You can imagine where it goes from here.
    -He fixes the cable?

  15. #15
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    The reason courts give out $6 million verdicts against ski areas when Denver lawyers crash into the flashing, beeping snowcat is because people like you are never on the jury.

    Think about it.

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    First, they don't check up on anything because they don't have time. They get their list of jurors and the jury questionaire about 10 minutes before you walk in the courtroom. Anything you say during voir dire, unless HIGHLY suspicious, isn't later cross referenced.
    The vacation thing works well during the summer. With criminal cases, if you show a strong bias towards the prosecution or defense that is a sure fire way of getting removed by either side. Do you personally know any prosecutor's? Relate a story where you thought that a buddy getting arrested, charged, questioned was being treated unfairly? Tell that one and throw in an opinion related to how you didn't think it was a crime to (fill in the blank). Our office had a jury panel in for a DUI case who didn't know it was a crime to drink and drive. He wasn't just removed from our panel but the entire jury pool.
    "You look like you just got schnitzled..."

  17. #17
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    it's crazy that this is being discussed because...

    and I'm totally not making this up, i swear...
    2 days ago, i got summoned for jury duty in the King County Superior Court for mid august. THEN, today i got a summons in the mail for jury duty at the Sea-Tac district court for late July. This is the craziest shit ever, never had jury duty before and now i get 2 in a 3 day period. WTF?!?! Least I know i aint goin to both.
    -You can imagine where it goes from here.
    -He fixes the cable?

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarlHungus
    it's crazy that this is being discussed because...

    and I'm totally not making this up, i swear...
    2 days ago, i got summoned for jury duty in the King County Superior Court for mid august. THEN, today i got a summons in the mail for jury duty at the Sea-Tac district court for late July. This is the craziest shit ever, never had jury duty before and now i get 2 in a 3 day period. WTF?!?! Least I know i aint goin to both.
    So let me be your out. I worked as a Rule 9 prosecutor for Pierce County Prosecutor and externed for King County Prosecutor's office. Tell em that you know someone who worked for their office and it might sway your decisions!

    Actually that is terrible and I can't believe that I suggested it...but in all honesty I am pretty bummed that I will never be put onto a jury panel because of being a lawyer. It is really informative and if you are lucky, you get a cool case.
    "You look like you just got schnitzled..."

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spats
    The reason courts give out $6 million verdicts against ski areas when Denver lawyers crash into the flashing, beeping snowcat is because people like you are never on the jury.

    Think about it.
    Yeah OK Spats.
    "It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds."

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDingleberry
    Yeah OK Spats.
    Nearly everyone of career age with any brains does everything possible to get out of jury duty, even if work pays for a week or two of it (which many workplaces do). Guess who this leaves? That's exactly the reason for f'ed-up jury awards in this country -- they're composed entirely of retired people, housewives whose kids have grown up, the bored and unemployed, or (and this is by far the smallest group) people who believe it's their civic duty. Then take that group, have the lawyers remove people with any opinions, and you get a bunch of bored mouth-breathers with no critical thinking skills.

    I used to do this too, but then I realized that this is the reason juries come to f'ed-up decisions, and I should be participating in the process.

    Here's an important link: www.fija.org

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Superstar Punani
    I got summoned for J-duty on the week that I'm supposed to go to Baja. How do I get out of this shit?

    I plan to tell Lumbergh I'm going to Jury duty, ditch that then head to Baja without burning my vacation time?

    Also my DMV info is in So Cal, Voting registration info is in Nor Cal. If I get summoned in either location can I pull the excuse that I live in the other location or do they check that shit?

    If they want me to go to Jury duty then they should have hot naked chicks at the courthouse.
    They have call in numbers now that you can check the night before. It's likely that you won't even be called upon and it'll tell you to call back the following night. That's what I did, I'm in SF and finally stopped calling after the third night. No nothing from the court, so I think it's chill. Worse case scenario is you don't show. I've done that too and unless some sheriff wants to make some big point about people blowing off jury duty, you'll be fine. But truly, the bigger picture is that jury duty is your civic responsibility (except when you gots a sick trip planned for Baja).
    Aliases: B-Dub, B-Dubya, & B. White

  22. #22
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    call the court clerk and explain situation. they will let you out. where I previously lived they would schedule you in for a time that was convienient.

  23. #23
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    I just got called for jury duty last week. I showed up, but was not selected. After they went through the cases and asked about "do you know anyone related to these cases" (that's attorneys, witnesses, plaintiffs, defendants)...they asked the people they had selected if they would be out of town during the week of 7/18. About half said they would be. Seems to me they should have asked this first.

    But anyway Punani, if you have previous travel plans I believe you can opt out and you will be reassigned at a later date. Could even be a few years from now. At least this is how it is in Sunny Connecticut.

    Sprite
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Superstar Punani
    I got summoned for J-duty on the week that I'm supposed to go to Baja. How do I get out of this shit?

    I plan to tell Lumbergh I'm going to Jury duty, ditch that then head to Baja without burning my vacation time?

    Also my DMV info is in So Cal, Voting registration info is in Nor Cal. If I get summoned in either location can I pull the excuse that I live in the other location or do they check that shit?

    If they want me to go to Jury duty then they should have hot naked chicks at the courthouse.
    Its usually pretty easy to get out, if you tell them you have a vacation you've already paid for. They'll make you come back.

    If you ever get picked for a panel, the easiest way to get off is to tell them during questioning that you really hate lawyers, which is not lying, as everyone does.
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  25. #25
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    Vets is offline Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
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    I just received this by email:

    IN A JURY pool, I watched people trying to persuade the judge to exempt them from serving. One man explained that he had a severe hearing problem and wouldn't be able to follow the proceedings. "You're excused," the judge informed him. "What did you say?" the man asked. The judge repeated himself and motioned to the exit. As the man reached the door, the judge told the clerk, "Juror No. 9 is excused, but he will still be paid for his time." "Thank you, Your Honor!" came a familiar voice from the far end of the courtroom.

    --Contributed to "Life In These United States" by Ann Ripp

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