7 year old catch her own bus?

[HD333]

I wouldn't have let my kids do it at 7.
My fear would be no show bus, late bus, missed bus. Then what do you do?
I'd find someone looking to make some cash and have them come over from 7:30 until she is on the bus. Or better yet get familiar/comfortable with a neighbor and have them be on call or even drop her off there at 7:30.

Shitty situation, to bad heading to work a little late isn't an option, lots of places are understanding of these issues and are doing flex time. Time for a new job for one of you?


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[Sirshredalot]

Can you talk to the bus driver or supervisor to have the bus honk when it pulls up so she doesn't have to stand out there alone? My concern is bad guys watch for solo kids at bus stops and would realize after a few days that she's always alone making her a target. If the bus driver can watch her from door to door it's bound to be safer.

I know that there have been a few people suggesting that the problem might be a weirdo with a van. I say this both as a parent and as a numbers geek - that should not be high on your list of concerns. Child abduction by strangers is extraordinarily rare. I do think some of the other problems mentioned here are worth considering. It's almost certainly illegal to leave the kid unsupervised, and one nosy neighbor ratting you out to the fuzz will have you doing an awkward tango with CPS. The kid's teachers or school admin might even feel that this is something they have to report if it ever comes up at school. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I just don't want you to catch shit. You seem like a good parent.

Maybe this is an opportunity to get to know one of the neighbors a little better? We have neighbors with small kids and hectic work schedules: I've done them favors similar to this and they've done the same for me.

[pepperdawg]

Our town has a pre-start of school program called the Family Resource Center - its costs $$$ (not much I dont think from what I've heard) but basically the younger kids get on the high school/middle school bus and it drops them off at the elementary school on hour or so before school and they do activities (arts and craps etc) before the school day. Might be worth looking into if OP's town has such a program.....

^^I like the neighbor suggestion by SSAL

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

I would say your only concern would be if she misses the bus after hanging out for an hour on her own. If shes responsible enough for that then go for it. Other than that you know your town/neighborhood/neighbors and whether they'd try and report you. In my town and neighborhood it'd be no biggie. Kids that age ride the public city buses alone all the time here. And when does a school bus not show? In all my years growing up I never had a school bus not show or be more than 5 min late, if anything they might show up early.

And stranger danger?? To put it in perspective if you figure the odds of a stranger randomly abducting your kid in the US it means that your kid would have to stand on a street corner for roughly 600,000 years before stranger came by to snatch them.

[sb]

Neighbors cart their 14 and 15 yo boys to and from bus pickup, they also drive the 10 yo girl the two blocks to the school.

[Shredhead]

If you live in Illinois it's illegal to leave a child younger than 14 home alone.

Not exactly, it depends on the definition of "unreasonable period of time" and is seldom enforced.

Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as "any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor's welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor."

[doebedoe]

Not exactly, it depends on the definition of "unreasonable period of time" and is seldom enforced.

Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as "any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor's welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor."

True facts. I work very closely with state CPS (prevention programs rather than the actual CPS stuff). It varies entirely by state. You may get a pesky neighbor calling it in, but it would likely be quickly screened out. If same person keeps calling you may get a check in but I've never seen a case opened for such. Few states have a cutoff age because maturity is so highly variable. The notion that it is illegal to leave a kid unsupervised in most jurisdictions doesn't fly. Being unsupervised for a defined (and short) period of time does not meet most state's definition of neglect.

I'm not a parent so I can't speak from that angle. Only you and yours can make the call about your neighborhood, and your daughter. There is always a chance of something happening. Impossible to perfectly protect and give them space to thrive.

Frankly I'm with others that this is a good thing to talk to your workplace about. A small flex schedule for a year or two ain't worth losing a good employee over.

[mcsquared]

I have a 1st grader with a pretty good head on his shoulders so I can kind of relate. Although he has no older siblings. My biggest fear would be what happens if the bus was late or broke down or the kid missed for some reason. Kids are good at following instructions and routines. But once things go sideways just a little they don't have the tools to adapt.

I would try to find a neighbor who can help. Either have the kid hang out at their house for an hour until it is time to go to the bus or just somebody who is looking out for them in case the bus doesn't show up. The kid needs someplace to go with an adult when things go wrong. All these people who are saying "I walked 3 miles when I was 4" are misremembering that it was actually 200 yards and their mom was watching them from the kitchen window the whole time.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

I have a 1st grader with a pretty good head on his shoulders so I can kind of relate. Although he has no older siblings. My biggest fear would be what happens if the bus was late or broke down or the kid missed for some reason. Kids are good at following instructions and routines. But once things go sideways just a little they don't have the tools to adapt.

I would try to find a neighbor who can help. Either have the kid hang out at their house for an hour until it is time to go to the bus or just somebody who is looking out for them in case the bus doesn't show up. The kid needs someplace to go with an adult when things go wrong. All these people who are saying "I walked 3 miles when I was 4" are misremembering that it was actually 200 yards and their mom was watching them from the kitchen window the whole time.

I walked a mile and a half to the bus stop in first grade. It was down a rural country road to a bigger road. My mom was 30 miles away at work. The OP's kid is more likely to get run down by the bus than be abducted. My oldest daughter walked a mile to school by herself in first grade and crossed 4 streets with no crossing guards. She's going to college in a week.

I would say that if the OP is asking this question then doing this is not for him.

[The AD]

Isn't it weird how how much this has changed in just the last 20-30 years? When I was in school most parents didn't even blink about leaving their kids alone at the bus stop and I don't really recall kids getting dropped off at school by their parents as a rule. They sure as hell weren't getting rides to the bus stop! Is the world more dangerous now or are parents just more protective?

[Timberridge]

Not exactly, it depends on the definition of "unreasonable period of time" and is seldom enforced.

Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as "any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor's welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor."

I don't recall Maculey Culkin's parents getting arrested in the movie.

[BCMtnHound]

I was walking a km to school and back at the OP's little one's age. But this wasn't in isolation, or the only 'risky' activity I engaged in at that age that many would find unacceptable in this day.
I think it a combination of a culture of fear through increased media and communication, coupled with a loss of community at the neighbourhood level. We knew most of our neighbours and there wasn't a second thought to go up, knock on the door and ask for assistance. Heck, the door usually was opened before you reached it. I don't feel that same sense of community anymore, and the posts on social media about people sense of security I find paranoid and outrageous.

[The AD]

coupled with a loss of community at the neighbourhood level. We knew most of our neighbours and there wasn't a second thought to go up, knock on the door and ask for assistance. Heck, the door usually was opened before you reached it. I don't feel that same sense of community anymore, and the posts on social media about people sense of security I find paranoid and outrageous.

Good point and I agree.

[Danno]

Do I think a 7 year old could do this? Sure.

Would I do it with my kid? No way. I'd be worried about worst case scenarios, and that includes CPS.

[Mustonen]

I'm not concerned about stranger danger for the reasons that SSAL mentions. My biggest concern is perception, which is why I pose the question. If we don't do it, it will be for that reason. I know that she will be fine and there are neighbors she can go to if there's an issue.

I'm in executive management. It's not an issue of being allowed to do anything. It's an issue of managing workload and work-life balance and meeting expectations. Also on my list is working from home for an hour every morning. There's a cultural issue there that we haven't completely navigated, yet, including a peer who's pretty old school and wields a lot of influence with the board.

Wife's work isn't flexible.

Working the neighbor ideas. There may be something there, but we've run up empty so far. Also, our state law doesn't specify an age. It's pretty open to interpretation, which cuts both ways.

[KQ]

Isn't it weird how how much this has changed in just the last 20-30 years? When I was in school most parents didn't even blink about leaving their kids alone at the bus stop and I don't really recall kids getting dropped off at school by their parents as a rule. They sure as hell weren't getting rides to the bus stop! Is the world more dangerous now or are parents just more protective?

I think maybe stuff just gets reported more. I grew up in the 70s. Walked to school with my brother until he died at the age of 9 (I was 8) then I walked alone. It was only a block and a half away and neighbors could see me pass by (this was the era when most Moms stayed home). Still despite all that I can tell you that more than a few times creeps would drive up and call me over to the car to ask a question and they would be naked from the waist down. Also had a pedo try to befriend me and saw him casing my house after the first time he approach me. This was the quiet Seattle suburbs.

Yeah stats are that stranger abduction happens only 25% of the time but still it happens so it would make sense to take preventive steps when your kids are most vulnerable (i.e. young, small, not 100% situationally aware) just like putting them in a booster seat in a car.

Unrelated to the OPs situation but something I hadn't thought about is a story I saw on the news about a girl who was walking to school with her headphones on so she didn't notice the guy come up from behind her and try to grab her (the headphone issue was what never occurred to me). Luckily she got away (whole scene was caught on a home security cam).

[Not Neil_Armstrong]

Free-Range parenting bruh....

My kids are home schooled but even then when my 7yr old was in public school I dropped him off and watched him walk into the school, then I drove off. Maybe it's being over protective... But there are too many meth heads these days.

It's hard to understand when people say "back in my day" because we're not back in your day in a sense. ( by no means is that in reference to anyone here) I have friends who are old and make those comments. It's a long form debate that can not likely be covered in text...

[GimpToo]

Just curious, is there anybody home when she gets dropped off? Some schools in our area would not allow a child to get off the bus unless there was someone there to meet them!

[Mofro261]

I gave my kids all kinds of leeway and responsibility that none of their peer group had, but it was 2 of them together and the older one was a boy who was born responsible. They were 9 and 7 when I let them ride their bikes a little over a mile to and from school and across streets with stop lights/traffic, while other parents in their grades were busy checking the sex offender registry to see where any potential neighborhood pedos might be. Those parents still drive their kids to high school everyday... We actually got a phone for oldest at 9 well before any of his peers so he could call/text to let us know they'd arrived at school safe, and again home after school. We had one accident when my girl was 11 or so that resulted in scrapes and stitches, she got hit by a car that pulled out in front of her as she was coming down a hill, but it turned out to be our neighbors who hit her and they brought her home.

They may have been 8 and 10 when they started catching the Metro across the street after school to downtown and meeting my wife in the transit tunnel, so I could pick them up to get up for night skiing a couple times a week. The first time they came down, they got off at Westlake by mistake instead of University and wandered up into the crack zone. A good samaritan stayed with them until my wife got there ~5-10min later, and they never had an issue again. It was a big help at the time because the wife and I were both commuting downtown it would take an hour of fighting traffic for me to get them from school/home and back downtown close to work at 3-4pm in the afternoon.


That said and on reflection, I'd have hesitated to leave my girl alone and in charge of getting herself out the door at age 7 without older siblings to take the lead. 2 working parents means something has to give, and either you should try and arrange your more flexible schedule to be home in the morning or possibly look into whether your school has any pre-care where the kids can be dropped off early at school.

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

Yeah stats are that stranger abduction happens only 25% of the time but still it happens
.

It's actually a lot less than that. The highest I've seen is maybe 3%-5% but most put it at closer to 1%-1.5% for actual stranger abductions. The only place I've seen a number that high was in Parents Magazine with no study or data to back that up. Almost every study or organization, governmental or the NCMEC, has the it closer to 1% for an actual stranger to grab your kid.

I heard the lady who wrote Free Range Kids a few times and she has some interesting theories. A lot of it she thinks is the media. The actual rate of abduction is declining but horror stories get viewers and sell ad space so that's what you see. People also have fewer kids so they feel more invested in each one. Plus with more kids you simply can't physically be everywhere to watch each one all the time or monitor their activities.

She also thinks there is a huge shaming culture built into parenthood these days. She talks about a study they did where they gave people a hypothetical of a kid being left in a safely parked car for a few minutes while the parent runs an errand and a truck veers off the road and hits the car and kills the kid. Then they give all these different reasons for why the parent had to run in without the kid and it's pretty fascinating to see the results. Her point is that a lot of parents fear and over-protectiveness comes from not wanting to look like a bad parent around our peers, not because we actually think our kid is at such risk.

I mean Mustonen just admitted that was his primary reason for asking and possibly not letting her do it. He knows his daughter is mature and smart enough to handle it and is confident she'll be safe but he might not because he's worried about the perception? Pretty sad that our society would shame a dad who has raised a smart, confident kid that wants to handle more responsibility and independence and then turn around and complain about immature millennials.

[KenJongIll]

Interesting. Feel your pain. We have a 7 yr old.
My state doesn't have juvenile code that states a specific age that a child can be left alone. But, there is a fire code that states the age is 8.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

The world is actually a safer place than 'back in the day'. Statistics show this but people buy into the media hype. Is getting reported to CPS really that common for normal people? Or is this more hype? Where are the statistics? I never even thought about that raising my girls.

[BFD]

latchkey kid, there is a name for this. don't be that parent

[muted]

There needs to be an uber for just kids. Choices would be shared small buses or personal car shuttles like Uber. For school, soccer practices, sleep-overs, whatever.

[Not Neil_Armstrong]

The world is actually a safer place than 'back in the day'. Statistics show this but people buy into the media hype. Is getting reported to CPS really that common for normal people? Or is this more hype? Where are the statistics? I never even thought about that raising my girls.

I guess I just have high level of "lack of trust" of other people. I've seen a few shitty people do shitty things to others so I guess that's why I don't trust others well.