BORDER FOLLIES - iCE Behaving Badly

[Timberridge]

Back in the late 80's when Canadian beer was 4.5% a.b.v. and the strippers were fully naked, while in the US Old Milwaukee was $7.99 a case and the strippers had to wear a g-string, it was a no-brainer to head to Canada on Sat night.

Coming back there was a a bit of a dust up between the occupants of my car and some girls in another car in the next lane. They unfortunately got to the border guard first and mentioned we tried to sell them weed. A bold-faced lie. But nevertheless my car was given a thorough going thru by the US border patrol, who took the back seat out, the spare, the trunk carpet, the contents of the glove box and left 3 drunk guys and me to put it back together. Apparently US Customs don't do that.

Bitches 1, Timber and crew 0

[BmillsSkier]

They checked the spare, huh?

[Timberridge]

Oh, here's another I just remembered.

The late 80's drug of choice was cocaine. That shit wasn't cheap, so as college students we often bartered with the local dealer. One day he called to collect. Apparenty he bought a boa constrictor from some guy over the border and needed us to pick it up. The snake was only 3 feet long and should be an easy transport, we were told. We ended up putting the snake under the backseat (the removable one) for the ride back. We made it thru the border, only to find that the snake wound itself around the spring coils on the underside of the backseat.

If you ever have to remove a boa from the seat springs of a '84 Dodge Omni for a drug dealer, I suggest you take the seat out (again) and take it to the drug dealer's house. The snake will generally come out in about a week or so--they apparently eat only 1x a week and between feedings generally don't do much. You can then retrieve the backseat and reinstall it.

[BmillsSkier]

Oh, here's another I just remembered.

The late 80's drug of choice was cocaine. That shit wasn't cheap, so as college students we often bartered with the local dealer. One day he called to collect. Apparenty he bought a boa constrictor from some guy over the border and needed us to pick it up. The snake was only 3 feet long and should be an easy transport, we were told. We ended up putting the snake under the backseat (the removable one) for the ride back. We made it thru the border, only to find that the snake wound itself around the spring coils on the underside of the backseat.

If you ever have to remove a boa from the seat springs of a '84 Dodge Omni for a drug dealer, I suggest you take the seat out (again) and take it to the drug dealer's house. The snake will generally come out in about a week or so--they apparently eat only 1x a week and between feedings generally don't do much. You can then retrieve the backseat and reinstall it.

When I see my college roommate who had an Omni I'm going to share this story with him. I'm not sure he can still use it but its invaluable advice regardless. Doubly so if he decides to recapture his youth and pick up another Omni off autotrader. I'd assume you can get 4 or 5 for a few hundred bucks these days - which will be handy if he wants to really move some serpents from Windsor to Detroit.

[wooley12]

Gestapo tactics.

A fucking loose cannon.

http://www.salon.com/2017/05/25/milw...him-on-flight/

[riser4]

I've been to a lot of different US/Canada border crosspoints, both pre and post 9/11, but have yet to come across one that has US on one side of STREET and Canada on the other with no booth or some sort of demarcation between them. Not saying such s place didn't exist pre-9/11, just have never seen one. WHERE????

They exist in VT. Derby Line for one.

[XXX-er]

I've been to a lot of different US/Canada border crosspoints, both pre and post 9/11, but have yet to come across one that has US on one side of STREET and Canada on the other with no booth or some sort of demarcation between them. Not saying such s place didn't exist pre-9/11, just have never seen one. WHERE????

get Hyderized eh?

there is no problem getting into the USA at Hyder cuz there is no guard ... an unprotected American Border

but coming back into Canada with a liver full of everclear you do go thru Canada customs so don't forget about that joint in yer pocket eh?

[Meadow Skipper]

I thought the thread title was Border Collies - something, something...

Never mind.

Me too. I went looking online for a picture of a border collie with some ice, but what I found was so disturbing that I felt fucked up for a couple days.