Ever have to take a dump so big your back hurts?

[muted]

Got a pic today of a dump my daughter took (first potty dump) and she must have been paralyzed. I mean, I would have fist pumped if it had been my loaf.

Congrats! My daughter when she was two pooped so much it went over the water line. I was dumbfounded for the rest of the day, the wife just shrugged it off.

I always thought that was completely impossible, but as they say, kids teach us so much about life, too.

[plugboots]

We adopted our daughter from China. Before us, she slept with her foster Mom in the same bed in split pants, (figure it out), and she would get up at regular intervals to let the kid pee/poop.

My wife and I were like: "No way". We put her in diapers, put her in the crib and said goodnight. (Yes, it was that easy, rolleyes).

Anyway, I forget how long, but "Hey why isn't she pooping?" (We ask ourselves in new-parent dumbfoundedness.) "Who knows?"

After prolly a too-long period of time, my wife dangles her over the toilet and she lets loose, and gives us a look, like: "It's about time!"

I bet her back hurt.

[wyeaster]

in all seriousness, not being able to take a dump for 6 days post knee replacement surgery was painful and verging on nerve-wracking. i am famously and powerfully regular so the whole concept of constipation was a slap in the face from gawd

[Cabinfever]

Yes to back pain. Shit happens.

[JongDoe]

I was at a family celebration and my aunt was a kick ass Italian cook. I ate so much cheesy, delicious stuff, some of it I didn't; even know what it was. I was sure I wouldn't need to eat for days as I sat out on the stoop on a beautiful day.

Next thing I know I hear the music of the Mr. Softee truck coming down the street. I love me some ice cream and it was like Pavlovs dogs. I was craving a nice vanilla shake and got a large. Kinda reminded ,e of how no matter how much coke you.ve done that night/morning, you can't turn it down if someone sticks a line in front of your face (back in the day).

Anyhow, I went into the bathroom and let loose with a stream of nastiness, so much so that I had to flush in process for fear that I would overflow the bowl. Well I should have flushed twice in process, cuz when I cleaned up and flushed at the end the toilet got clogged and the water started rising to the top and started to overflow.

I went to call mom (I was probably 12) and I open the door and there is a line to use the bathroom. First in my line is my cousins girlfriend who I had a mad crush on. Determined not to let her see what a gross pig I was, I locked the door behind me and mumbled something about the toilet not working. I ran to get my mom and she and my uncle came down but they couldn't get in to stop it from overflowing.

When they finally opened the door with a bobby pin, there was a couple of inches of whatever all over the bathroom floor. Took them hours to clean that up as I sat moaning outside.

I was so damned embarrassed I couldn't face that girl anymore. I brought the story up to mom 20 years later and she remembered cleaning it up. Who wouldn't?

[sb]

Jong Doe destroyer of bathrooms.

[JongDoe]

One of my few skillz.

[riser4]

My eldest child craps softballs. Except they are as hard as a rock. We had to buy a new toilet to handle it. The poor kid joins a long line of toilet wreckers. My dad was famous for it. I'm pretty good at it.

When my youngest was 8 he held his shit all week at summer camp. He said the bathrooms were too gross and not very private. He spent an hour and a half wrecking a toilet at the Queechee Gorge visitors center.

My back hurts on a regular basis.

[irul&ublo]

Jong Doe destroyer of bathrooms.

Please to stay away from the stalls in my office

[wicked_sick]

[JongDoe]

Good Lord. I can't tell but it doesn't even look like she has gloves on.

[::: :::]

Does she make house calls? ::

[SJG]

LOL it looks like the dogs were queued up to get firsties......

[riser4]

There are days when it does seem like having someone reach up there is the only way it is going to come out.

[Skidog]

Not my kid but my buddy in Canadas. For some reason his son likes to poop in the master bath. One night he decides he needs to dump. Mom and dad sleeping away. Well somehow he clogged the toilet and water ran all night flooding the bathroom, main floor kitchen and entire basement. Kids like 8. What 8 year old shits like that? I was shocked my buddy didn't wake up with the running water sound. Guess he's a heavy sleeper.

[Timberridge]

There's something oddly satisfying about that video.

[sb]

the dawgs are like fresh out of the oven

[riser4]

Not my kid but my buddy in Canadas. For some reason his son likes to poop in the master bath. One night he decides he needs to dump. Mom and dad sleeping away. Well somehow he clogged the toilet and water ran all night flooding the bathroom, main floor kitchen and entire basement. Kids like 8. What 8 year old shits like that? I was shocked my buddy didn't wake up with the running water sound. Guess he's a heavy sleeper.

All of my kids shit like that when they were eight.

[::: :::]

lesson of the day: chew your food, people

[El Chupacabra]

[DJSapp]