What did your daughter just say?

[bodywhomper]

My daughter (now 7) is now the most flowered in her speech at home.

For genitalia, we use "volva" instead of "vagina".

The 7 year olds kids think that it's pretty hilarious when I change my clothes, they still regularly change in front of each other. It'll be interesting to see how they react when swimming hole season gets rolling at the nearby spot....

[reckless toboggan]

My daughter (now 7) is now the most flowered in her speech at home.

For genitalia, we use "volva" instead of "vagina".

The 7 year olds kids think that it's pretty hilarious when I change my clothes, they still regularly change in front of each other. It'll be interesting to see how they react when swimming hole season gets rolling at the nearby spot....

So your name is bodywhomper, and you're exposing yourself to children?

[bodywhomper]

Never thought of "bodywhomp" in that way before....

[iceman]

I can't recall ever needing to speak of my daughter's vagina, never mind finding a code word for it. Or my son's penis, for that matter.

I assume that they both have them and that they function correctly, and that's all I need to know.

[XXX-er]

My ex-wife was visiting my son and apparently she must have said something stupid to my granddaughter

cuz my very sharp 4yr old grandaughter said "stupid grandma! "

[KQ]

My ex-wife was visiting my son and apparently she must have said something stupid to my granddaughter

cuz my very sharp 4yr old grandaughter said "stupid grandma! "

Amazing what kids say these days. When I was a kid that would have earned you a bar of soap in the mouth and being sent to your room without dinner. Of course I never would have even entertained the thought but then you know it was a different time I suppose. Now get off my lawn!

[XXX-er]

well even tho my Daughter-in-law is a very nice person, even tho she doesn't really like my ex-wife she felt like crawling under the couch but

she did tell me the whole story and like I said ... my grand daughter is pretty sharp

[HD333]

I told my daughter I was going to get a romper to wear as a joke. She replied. "But won't your penis hang out?"
She must have been talking to her mom about me...

[JimmyCarter]

My 3.5 year old daughter turned to my wife at the dinner table the other day and said, in her best mommy impersonation, "mommy, i love you very very much, but you need to calm down"

[Marshall Tucker]

So MT junior is about 5, we're walking into church (we live solidly in the bible belt). He's singing to himself kinda soft to i lean down and he goin "ohoo black bettty, bamalam, woo black betty bamalam black betty had a child" I told him we can't sing that in church.

[LegoSkier]

I had a pretty lengthy conversation with my 4.5 yo daughter yesterday (while she was taking a shit no less) about Godzilla. So many questions about Godzilla.
Is he good or bad?
Why does he smash things?
Where does he live?
and the best was Does Godzilla have nipples?
Has never seen a Godzilla movie and this is all because I own a shirt with Godzilla on it.

[Danno]

Well, does Godzilla have nipples?

[The Tortoise]

We were camping with the kids who were 2 and 4 at the time. When we go camping with the kids we always get the variety cereal packs. Who didn't love that shit as a kid?



The oldest wakes up and proclaims that he wants some Porn Cocks for breakfast.

Wut?

Porn Cocks.

Ah. Corn Pops.

We then died laughing.

[PassTheDutchie]

Well, does Godzilla have nipples?

Fuck no. He's a godamn reptilian super mutant for shit's sake. They lay reptilian super mutant eggs.

[hatchgreenchile]

Just a few of the hilarious back and forths with from my 2 year old

"It's time to get ready for bed" - "No Daddy, you calm down"
"That's not very nice, please don't do that" - "Daddy, I want to go in time out"
"Who did you play with at the park today?" - "I played with asshole" (Oscar)

[irul&ublo]

I can't recall ever needing to speak of my daughter's vagina, never mind finding a code word for it. Or my son's penis, for that matter....

In case you need to...

[teledad]

When my son was about 4 he was obsessed with construction equipment and knew all the names for the different machines. He also (like many 4-year-olds) didn't have the best diction, and when he said "backhoe" he'd get the vowel sounds but the consonants were a little weak. So we'd be in a park or walking down the street and he'd very loudly announce "I see an asshole".

[oftpiste]

Not daughter related (this thread is gold) but....

In the car-seat days my watch would always get pulled off when installing the seat belts through the too-small holes in the base of the car seat. I hope the design has changed in the last 20 years.

One day as we were getting ready to head out in the car my son asked me if he was going to ride in the "dammit". Apparently I did a lot of muttering under my breath when my watch got pulled off and the car seat was, from then on, known as the "dammit".

Also car-related: I have a bad habit of name-calling aimed at the myriad of buffoons who are somehow allowed on our public roads. One day some lady cut me off and I muttered a "stupid bitch" forgetting there was a kid in the "dammit" in back and he proceeded to break out in song singing, "stupid bitch! stupid bitch! stupid bitch!".

LBNL, and this one is kind of embarrassing but speaks to the state of mind of parents of three little kids.... thing #3's first word was "rewind". This was in the day of the VHS tape.

[sb]

Godzillra most definitely does not have nipples.

I have seen almost every movie he is in and I would have noticed by now.

[boarddad]

My son was almost 2 when we went and visited family on a trip. We all went out to a rib place - a fairly large party . Everyone orders and the waitress ends up at my son's end of the table. She asks if there is anything else we would like, at which point my son makes eye contact with her, waves her over his way and blows her a kiss!

FTR - he's 14 now...I'm in trouble, aren't I?

[yeahman]

At Big Sky those guys in yellow one-piece suits set up their Ski Photos signs on the green runs, sit there and shoot pics of tourists. After a few years of witnessing this my youngest turned to me on the lift and asked, Daddy, what are ski potatoes?

Needless to say when we ski by these guys now we always yell SKI POTATOES!

[CountryFunk]

I was with my sister-in-law and toddler nephew at a Mexican joint and the salsa was too hot for Jr. SIL asks if we could get some ketchup for him but the waitress tells us she doesn't have any ketchup, so Jr pipes up "Goddammit". SIL is embarrassed and makes a big point of saying in front of the waitress "Jr, that's not what we say when we're not happy about something! What do we say?" His response - "Fuck?" Beer came out of my nose ...

[grskier]

I can't recall ever needing to speak of my daughter's vagina, never mind finding a code word for it. Or my son's penis, for that matter.

I assume that they both have them and that they function correctly, and that's all I need to know.

codeword?

really?

Do you know what the 'real' name for human body parts are?

spelling be damned.

[bagtagley]

My son said this, but you can pretend it was my daughter.

Daughter wanted to say a prayer before dinner one night, something we've never done (public schools, amiright?!). She says her prayer, and finishes with "Aaaamen". With perfect timing, my son responds, "and God Dammit".