Beautifully Sad

[mbe626]

When I was a boy, 10 years old, the sexual abuse began. He was a "trusted family friend". It went on sporadically for about 2 years. I didn't consciously remember that it had happened until Oct 5 1998. I had buried away this memory in the deepest chasm of my mind. When it resurfaced I was broken in two. I had no one I could tell. I wept like that lost 10 year old when the dam of pain broke inside of me. I was so lost.

I met her when I was at my lowest. She was a friend first and she listened. She helped pull me out of the darkest of places. For the first time in I don't know how long I was able to feel a connection to another human being. She wasn't afraid and this helped me to feel the same.

Over time our friendship grew and turned to love. We were careful with each other, me more then her. I was terrified of losing this friendship but eventually we spoke of marriage and children. I wanted to stay with her for all my life. She gave me hope. She taught me to give hope to myself . She taught me to find love in the world. She taught me to love myself again, despite the shame and guilt and anger that I carried.

Then one day she wasn't there. Her dad gave me the news that she had been hit by a car. She was in the hospital for two weeks. I am not religious, but I prayed, as my bullshit catholic upbringing had taught me to do.

I held her hand and spoke to her while she lay in the hospital bed. I hoped and made promises to the sky above. I watched her slowly drift away from me. I watched her breath and her heart weaken. I wasn't there when she died but one day it all just stopped....her, the time, life, all of it.

I was adrift. I wandered to nowhere.

I heard this song play and I have never forgotten it. The song just happened to be there at that time in my life and it broke me. It is an audible marker for a time in my life that changed me forever.

I will honor you always. I swear on my life to create love, to be love and to protect the innocence of youth. I know you are still with me. At times I feel you in the air around me. I will never forget you. Thank you.

[balefulstare]

Heavy.

[Tippster]

If true... ouch. Sorry, man.

[Angle Parking]

I sheepishly offer the following after mbe626's heavy post.



Much of Leonard Cohen's oeuvre might qualify as beautifully sad. The Partisan (below) strikes a particularly sad yet beautiful chord with me.

[Alaskan Rover]

To me, this Mad World video illustrates 'sad' beautifully.

Mad World -- a Gary Jules cover of the Tears for Fears original

[Alaskan Rover]

Why only music? I think this Margaret Bourke-White photo is beautifully sad.

[Tippster]

[iceman]

The pills and wine are nice touches.

[TomCrac]

That is hilarious!

[bushman]

Ron Popeil knew his target audience.

[Tippster]

This Tumblr is gold: http://liartownusa.tumblr.com/

[old goat]

Why only music? I think this Margaret Bourke-White photo is beautifully sad.

That's a Dorothea Lange photo of Florence Owens Thompson--age 32. Thanks for posting that--beautifully sad indeed. (In some other pictures Lange took that day she doesn't look quite as old. And she did live to 80).

Some sad Dylan ballads from the Times they are a Changin'



Also Restless Farewell--couldn't find a good video version
And in the same vein as the Lange photo


Dylan wrote a lot of other wonderful sad songs which are overshadowed by his protest songs and electric songs.

[Timberridge]

Its not a broku but,


The Darkling Thrush
By Thomas Hardy

I leant upon a coppice gate
When Frost was spectre-grey,
And Winter's dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Had sought their household fires.

The land's sharp features seemed to be
The Century's corpse outleant,
His crypt the cloudy canopy,
The wind his death-lament.
The ancient pulse of germ and birth
Was shrunken hard and dry,
And every spirit upon earth
Seemed fervourless as I.

At once a voice arose among
The bleak twigs overhead
In a full-hearted evensong
Of joy illimited;
An aged thrush, frail, gaunt, and small,
In blast-beruffled plume,
Had chosen thus to fling his soul
Upon the growing gloom.

So little cause for carolings
Of such ecstatic sound
Was written on terrestrial things
Afar or nigh around,
That I could think there trembled through
His happy good-night air
Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew
And I was unaware.

[TomCrac]

"The Daffodil Poem"
(by Sherwood's Mother, as recited by Sherwood)

High up grew a daffodil,
I couldn't hardly reach her
Said I to me I think I will
get it for my teacher
I clumb to get the daffodil
out on a limb so thin
I tumbled down like Jack and Jill
and skinned my little shin
And here's the pretty daffodil
I brought to my new teacher
I love her dear and I always will:
I'm awful glad to meetcha!!

[I've seen black diamonds!]

[Alaskan Rover]

That's a Dorothea Lange photo of Florence Owens Thompson--age 32. Thanks for posting that--beautifully sad indeed. (In some other pictures Lange took that day she doesn't look quite as old.

Thanks for correcting me on that. I think Dorothea Lang's photos are actually more powerful and soulful than Margaret Bourke-White's. Not that Margaret Bourke-White was any slouch behind the lens.

Another favorite black and white photographer of mine is Sebastiao Selgado...his photos are devastatingly evocative.

Here's a couple:

[mbe626]

When I was 10

The walls were dark stained wood leading up to the triangle peak of the roofline. A dark lamp shade cast an amber light in the room. The light was soft, the room was quiet.
I looked out across the road to a single house far away on a hill. The hill it stood on was once a farmer's field. There were no trees around. The house sat silhouetted against a sky of a million stars. It was winter. The sky was as clear as it could be. In each window of the house across the street there were little flickering candles. It was an absolutely beautiful scene. Each candle and each star offered a gentle twinkling on that night. This scene plays in my head like it was yesterday. I will not share the rest.

The ability of the human mind to save us from trauma has been fascinating to me. Why would memories be hidden away from me? To be revealed only when I was ready? If my own brain can protect itself like this, what else are we capable of?

I had involuntarily created this scene of peace and tranquility at a time when that was the last thing that was happening.

Why the fuck am I sharing this, buried a couple pages into a sad music thread on a skiing sub forum? I just need to put it out there. I have no idea what I am doing. There is no guidance for this shit. I have been searching for the beauty in my situation. I will rise above. But I am still scared and ashamed of telling people. I created a new account just to put this out there, even though nobody here knows me.

I like this place. People share some fucked up things here. Dark humor, personal tragedy, advice. I have found quite a bit of wisdom in the padded room.

Beauty and sadness. Kindness and debauchery. We're all in this together.

[Flyoverland Captive]

This Tumblr is gold: http://liartownusa.tumblr.com/

Wow; there goes my afternoon.

[Tippster]

Wow; there goes my afternoon.

Right? I spent an hour laughing my ass off and didn't get anywhere close to seeing it all. The AB+ posters are amazing.

[Flyoverland Captive]

[BmillsSkier]

Right? I spent an hour laughing my ass off and didn't get anywhere close to seeing it all. The AB+ posters are amazing.

The fake YouTube page of animals taking care of other animal species had me in tears.

[guroo270]

I closed on a new house three weeks ago that needs some fix uppins. . I've started on some stuff, but I'm dragging ass because im staying at my slightly estranged biological brother's house a mile away and I kind of like it. He left me alone a lot because he was always in trouble and got shipped around to our three different sets of parents. His choice - running from problems.
Always had a brother but never really had a brother. It's nice.

[KQ]

We live and we die, we know not why
But I'll be with you when the deal goes down

[TBS]

[spanghew]

the saddest song I know--

https://youtu.be/niz2YJBOjCg