Strange public restroom bahavior

[The AD]

I sat back down at my cube wondering what is wrong with the person at work who did that who apparenlty has a problem flushing.

Clearly he was proud of his accomplishment and wanted to show it off. More TP would have just obscured his masterpiece.

[CUBUCK]

We have a guy at work who is on the floor above us. Whenever he comes down to take a shit, they do have bathrooms on his floor, he takes a long peice of toilet paper and ties a little knot at the top and hangs it to cover the half inch crack in where the stall door closes. After one of these displays we go in to see the toilet paper still hanging from the door and the toilet seat mummified. After staking out the bathroom and a lot of speculation we found who the culprit was. Since this guy is obviously to uncomfortable to shit on his own bathroom we want to make his next trip downstairs as miserable and humiliating as possible. Any ideas?

[SkiingBear]

We have a guy at work who is on the floor above us. Whenever he comes down to take a shit, they do have bathrooms on his floor, he takes a long peice of toilet paper and ties a little knot at the top and hangs it to cover the half inch crack in where the stall door closes. After one of these displays we go in to see the toilet paper still hanging from the door and the toilet seat mummified. After staking out the bathroom and a lot of speculation we found who the culprit was. Since this guy is obviously to uncomfortable to shit on his own bathroom we want to make his next trip downstairs as miserable and humiliating as possible. Any ideas?

"Big Brother is watching you!" written on the inside of the stall door? That would be enough to creep me out...real or not.

[Castro's]

We have a guy at work who is on the floor above us. Whenever he comes down to take a shit, they do have bathrooms on his floor, he takes a long peice of toilet paper and ties a little knot at the top and hangs it to cover the half inch crack in where the stall door closes. After one of these displays we go in to see the toilet paper still hanging from the door and the toilet seat mummified. After staking out the bathroom and a lot of speculation we found who the culprit was. Since this guy is obviously to uncomfortable to shit on his own bathroom we want to make his next trip downstairs as miserable and humiliating as possible. Any ideas?

Next time he goes in take a package of Black Cat fireworks, light them, and throw them in the next stall. Then watch him run like hell. He'll never shit on your floor again. (well, he might shit on the floor while running when the black cats go off)

[pappag]

I nearly teared my eyes out while reading this.
Definitely the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

Here is a story involving a bit of bizarre bathroom behavior of my own.
When I was around 18 yrs old, I got a summer job working for my cousin fixing scales for food markets and industrial sites. One of the first jobs he sent me on was to a factory to fix a truck scale. On the way up, I bought and drank a large coffee. By the time I got to said factory, I really really had to piss. I check in and ask the location of the bathroom. I walk into the men’s room and on one wall, there are stalls and in the middle of the room is a round cement trough with a round stainless steel ring above it and round stainless ring at foot level. I press the foot lever and lo, water comes out of the top ring. I figure that this is the urinal. A little odd though with everyone having to piss in a circle but what the hell. I pull out my dick and let it rip. As I’m pissing, a few factory worker types wander in the bathroom and stop dead giving me a “what the fuck” kinda look. One of them goes out and gets about 10 other guys. At this point, they are all just kinda staring , still with the “what the fuck” look. I finish, give the final shake, push the foot lever, flush and one of them says yo asshole, clean the fucking sink you just pissed in . Me: “ Ah, I thought it was the urinal” Pissed off factory worker: “it’s a fucking sink asshole” Me: “oh, where’s the soap?”
The urinals were in a room off the main washing room. When I left, that sink practically sparkled

[spanky]

We have a guy at work who is on the floor above us. Whenever he comes down to take a shit, they do have bathrooms on his floor, he takes a long peice of toilet paper and ties a little knot at the top and hangs it to cover the half inch crack in where the stall door closes. After one of these displays we go in to see the toilet paper still hanging from the door and the toilet seat mummified. After staking out the bathroom and a lot of speculation we found who the culprit was. Since this guy is obviously to uncomfortable to shit on his own bathroom we want to make his next trip downstairs as miserable and humiliating as possible. Any ideas?

Take some fast-food ketchup packets, fold them in half, place them under the seat. When he sits down, they'll burst all over his ass.

[AfroMullet]

Take some fast-food ketchup packets, fold them in half, place them under the seat. When he sits down, they'll burst all over his ass.

BWAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

[ole2planker]

noodles:

Flushing urinals is a fucking huge, unnecessary waste of water. Those living in the west would do us all a good turn by not flushing (and disabling any urinal autoflusher they encounter)

Aren't you just increasing the amount of urine in the water and decreasing the oxygen, requiring more chemicals to clean the water?

[ole2planker]

I once gave a talk to a group of Japanese environmentalists on environmental regulations. After the talk I went to the restroom and the japanese men did not use the urinals. They went to the stall and sat down to pee. Very weird.

In the orient, traditional bathrooms do not have western toilets, but a hole in the floor, resulting in squatting.

[pappag]

Don't know if someone mentioned this, but old dudes -really old dudes-flush toilets before they piss because they NEED the sound of water to make them pee. I hope this doesn't happen to me when I hit 80.

[L7]

I think the weirdest public bathroom behaviour is paying too much attention to other people's public bathroom behaviour. Wierder still is to then spend time discussing it. The wierdest yet is spending this discussion time with a bunch of geeky internet aquaintances over the internet.

I need to go wash my hands now, I feel dirty.

[lemon boy]

We have a guy at work who is on the floor above us. Whenever he comes down to take a shit, they do have bathrooms on his floor, he takes a long peice of toilet paper and ties a little knot at the top and hangs it to cover the half inch crack in where the stall door closes. After one of these displays we go in to see the toilet paper still hanging from the door and the toilet seat mummified. After staking out the bathroom and a lot of speculation we found who the culprit was. Since this guy is obviously to uncomfortable to shit on his own bathroom we want to make his next trip downstairs as miserable and humiliating as possible. Any ideas?

write on the stall door(s):

Please don't stuff the TP in the crack, it makes it more difficult for us to film you (though, not impossible).

That should take care of things. Or see my above advice about faking an oring blowout. that should at least keep him off your floor.

I can't believe someone would be paranoid to the extent that they'd put tp in the crack. Shit.

At CU some of the older buildings have only half doors on stalls (bottom half at that) so every person walking into the john sees you taking a grumper. Only the most dire of emergencies could force me to use one of those shitters. What would that guy do there? erect a whole wall of tp?

[Spicoli]

Whoever thought of the idea to put that little plastic urinal into Porta-Potty’s is the fucking mang! No more staring at 100 gallons of shit and paper.

[The AD]

At CU some of the older buildings have only half doors on stalls (bottom half at that) so every person walking into the john sees you taking a grumper. Only the most dire of emergencies could force me to use one of those shitters. What would that guy do there? erect a whole wall of tp?

In the swim team locker room at Michigan State the toilets were right out in the open. No walls of any kind AND there were lockers literally a few feet away. Let's just say those particular lockers weren't the most popular. Those toilets got a good workout, too. Swimming is like running in that it tends to jar things loose

EDIT: good call Spicoli. The guy who invented those deserves a "Real Men of Genius" commerical in his honor!

[Core Shot]

Whoever thought of the idea to put that little plastic urinal into Porta-Potty’s is the fucking mang! No more staring at 100 gallons of shit and paper.

A-Men to that one brutha!!


Best of all, if the shitter is really stank, you can piss in the urinal part while also holding the door open to maximize fresh air flow. try it. it realy helps.

[shmerham]

EDIT: good call Spicoli. The guy who invented those deserves a "Real Men of Genius" commerical in his honor!

We salute you Mister Porta-potty urinal inven-entor. Mister Porta-potty urinal inven-entor.

You took a piece of plastic and molded it into a dream. No longer does a male have to stare down a turd while peeing. They always win

...and when the stench is so bad, you'd consider holding the 8 beers you just drank A lot of liquid

...you can keep the lid closed and open the door. No more stinky

Mister Porta-potty urinal inven-en-en-tor.

[mrw]

Any ideas?

grease the seat with a layer of vaseline

[snow_slider]

Since this guy is obviously to uncomfortable to shit on his own bathroom we want to make his next trip downstairs as miserable and humiliating as possible. Any ideas?

Just stake out the cans and when he goes in to do his business, go in and sit in the next stall over. Talk to him continually until he leaves. Repeat this until he stops coming down.

[Castro's]

Take the tp down and stare at him through the crack. Don't smile, laugh, giggle, or anything else. Just stare.

[Obstruction]

Whoever thought of the idea to put that little plastic urinal into Porta-Potty’s is the fucking mang! No more staring at 100 gallons of shit and paper.

Port-a-pottys are a reasonable substitute for a tree to hide behind when you are outside and need to take a leak, but little use otherwise.

Speaking of that I'm all for equal opportunity but women on a golf course make it tough on middle aged guys with old man bladders.

[freshie247]

there is a certain bar in boulder that not only has troughs but has very misleading signage as to which john is which. My first time of course I screwed it up and there was some old barfly crone in the ladies who was on her way out, put her hand on my shoulder and said "don't worry hon, I did the same thing my first time" really eased my mind.

Seeing a dude standing at the trough must be quite an initiation for the ladies.

Yeah the dark horse has the fuck with drunk people signs on the doors.

[lemon boy]

ahem, I left the name of the establishment out of the post for a reason thanks...

[Big E]

Only problem is when that pipe that runs over to the tank somehow develops a leak in the bottom of it. Then you're just pissing on your foot.

I can't help but think this happens only as a result of a prank. Funny thing is that that prank must get propagated for years! I'm sure Bobby's Potties or Don's Johns is really inspecting each one of these things before they pick it up and move it to the next site.

[13]

I spit into urinals & toilets all the time -- what's wrong with that? Would you rather I spit on the ground?

13. Vigorous & obvious finish shake that resembles jerkin off or a seizure.

It really wigs me out when I'm in the middle of target practice and the person next to me shakes so hard & fast that it draws my attention.

14. Whistling while tinkling.

Ruins my concentration is all.

[The AD]

I spit into urinals & toilets all the time -- what's wrong with that? Would you rather I spit on the ground?

13. Vigorous & obvious finish shake that resembles jerkin off or a seizure.

It really wigs me out when I'm in the middle of target practice and the person next to me shakes so hard & fast that it draws my attention.

Why do you need to spit at all?

Yeah, the vigorous shake is a good one. I also like the guys that do a lot of knee bending at the finish. It's almost like a ritual. Kind of like the weird shit baseball players do in the batter's box.