Fuck Cancer

[TBS]

Your insurance co gave you shit about GCSF shots?

And you were on point about the port. She hurt for a couple of days after placement, and a week later she sez it’s just an annoying lump. Got her first port stick today without numbing agent (because of the clusterfuck this AM) and she said it wasn’t any worse than a shot.

[Trackhead]

Yeah had to get it through a specialty pharmacy not the treatment facility pharmacy. They screwed up the FedEx one time and doctor wouldn’t give me chemo unless I had the Med on hand. So I offered to pay $5,000 to the hospital pharmacy to buy their dose at full price. Ultimately I got a dose on that round another way and it ended up being a non-issue. I was willing to pay $5,000 out of pocket to stay on schedule for chemo.

[ASmileyFace]

Just chiming in to say a big ol fuck you to cancer.

Got the call today that my buddy is on his last chance with this shit. Things do not look good for him surviving the weekend. Cancer in your early 30s is a fucked up thing. Give your loved ones a squeeze.

[skaredshtles]

Just chiming in to say a big ol fuck you to cancer.

Got the call today that my buddy is on his last chance with this shit. Things do not look good for him surviving the weekend. Cancer in your early 30s is a fucked up thing. Give your loved ones a squeeze.

Sorry to hear about this, man. Fuck cancer.

[JimmyCarter]

Damn, that’s awful ASF. Fuck cancer


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[TBS]

Just chiming in to say a big ol fuck you to cancer.

Got the call today that my buddy is on his last chance with this shit. Things do not look good for him surviving the weekend. Cancer in your early 30s is a fucked up thing. Give your loved ones a squeeze.

Sad situation - it’s fucked up regardless of age.
Hope you can give your buddy a hug and some time

[Trackhead]

Just chiming in to say a big ol fuck you to cancer.

Got the call today that my buddy is on his last chance with this shit. Things do not look good for him surviving the weekend. Cancer in your early 30s is a fucked up thing. Give your loved ones a squeeze.

Sorry to hear that. Like others said, cancer at any age is awful.

[Trackhead]

Just chiming in to say a big ol fuck you to cancer.

Got the call today that my buddy is on his last chance with this shit. Things do not look good for him surviving the weekend. Cancer in your early 30s is a fucked up thing. Give your loved ones a squeeze.

Sorry to hear that. Like others said, cancer at any age is awful.

[Meadow Skipper]

I’m sorry to hear that ASF. Very sorry.

[cspringsposer]

Im guessing I could find the answer if I read this whole thread but hoping someone can give me the cliff notes. Wife found a lump in her breast a couple of weeks ago. She tried to schedule a mammogram but was told since she has a lump she needs a referral from her doctor. Wife went to our family doctor last Thursday and was referred to our local imaging center that same day. Imaging center called the next day (Friday) to tell her the earliest opening for a diagnostic mammograms with ultrasound is in October (ridiculous!). I immediately started calling every imaging center within 100 miles. Fortunately, found a place in Denver that said they would get her in the following Monday and that she should dig up her last mammogram. Wife found the results of her last mammogram from 11 years ago (I know, I know - I am really pissed at myself for not pushing her harder to get one annually). The last mammogram was clear but it noted that she had very dense breasts. I asked google WTF having dense breasts means and found out women with dense breasts are 4 - 6 times more likely to get breast cancer, something no previous doctor bothered to tell my wife.

Went for the diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound yesterday and the initial indications aren't too great. The doc at the imaging center mentioned the tumor isnt round like she hoped and did a biopsy on the spot. During the biopsy the doc mentioned she was surprised how well my wife was handling this and then gave her a hug and promised they would take care of her. Nothing official yet but we have to call a number at 2:30 tomorrow to find out the results.

My question is what next if the news isnt what we want? Do we go back to our family doctor to get referred to an oncologist or specialist? Will the imaging center doctor refer us somewhere? I know I am getting ahead of myself, but I want to make sure I am ready for whatever might come. No way am I going to sit around and count on other people to care enough to push for the appointments as hard as I will.

Never thought I would have to ask these questions and have never been so scared. I highly value the knowledge of others gained through experience. Thank you for the help.

[skaredshtles]

Fuck, poser. Sorry to hear this shit.

Yet another post that makes me *pissed* at our "healthcare" system. It's bullshit.

++vibes to your wife and yourself. Hoping for a best-outcome scenario...

[Jacques Sheer-Rocko]

PM sent, Poser

[cspringsposer]

PM sent, Poser

Thanks brother. Incredibly helpful!

[ianpnw]

PM sent

[cspringsposer]

PM sent

Thank you!

[Meadow Skipper]

All I have is that if the results come in positive, your lives will change radically. Be ready and buckle up. When my wife was diagnosed, cancer became the central factor of our lives.

You’re on the right track figuring you will have to be your own advocates. It can be really hard work finding the right people, facilities, and organizations to help. We had a fantastic oncologist with a staff that worked hard for us, but we also kept searching and working full time to discover and use every possible helpful resource.

I’m so sorry to hear of your problems, and I wish nothing but good fortune for your family.

Fuck cancer.

[cspringsposer]

I definitely get that it is life changing. We don't even know what we are dealing with yet but this is all we have focused on and worked to get appointments for the past 5 days. I can only imagine how much more it dominates your life if you get the diagnosis.

I really appreciate the information folks have sent. We don't have cancer in our family and really don't even know anyone that has had it. I guess we have been sheltered and lucky on that account.

I truly appreciate the kind words, vibes, thoughts and prayers, if that is your thing. No matter what we find out tomorrow, I will never take this for granted again.

[Trackhead]

My question is what next if the news isnt what we want? Do we go back to our family doctor to get referred to an oncologist or specialist? Will the imaging center doctor refer us somewhere? I know I am getting ahead of myself, but I want to make sure I am ready for whatever might come. No way am I going to sit around and count on other people to care enough to push for the appointments as hard as I will.

Never thought I would have to ask these questions and have never been so scared. I highly value the knowledge of others gained through experience. Thank you for the help.

Not an oncologist, I work ER, but also recently had cancer.

In my case, the biopsy results were sent to referring provider (my PCP). My PCP then sent results/referral to cancer center who called me the next day to set up the consult, chemo, etc.

Good on you for being proactive for your wife. Sorry you are having to deal with this, but until you have the biopsy results............try to remain positive. It's overwhelming, and I get that.

[cspringsposer]

Thanks Trackhead. That is the link I was trying to figure out.

Sorry you had to go through this. Hopefully you are over the hump now.

Thank you for the insight!

[Trackhead]

I’m not sure who cancer is worse for, the patient or the spouse. It very well might be the spouse. Facing your own mortality is obviously hard to comprehend, but facing what it means to your family is worse. Those were my emotions and still are.

[TBS]

@poser - Ms TBS is going thru breast cancer treatment right now - finished the second of four chemo rounds last week.

See posts 1284 and 1319 upthread for backstory.

Some things to consider
- If the Biopsy sez the tumor is invasive, ask them to get an Oncotype Score. It tests a bunch of genetic markers in the tumor to asses risk of recurrence and response to chemotherapy. Took fucking forever (IMHO) to get her results back, and wasn’t good news but it’s a great tool that wasn’t available years ago.

- I don’t agree that this is tougher on the spouse. We don’t get cut open, poisoned and irradiated. We don’t get flu-like symptoms every three weeks. We just need to be supportive and not panic.

- If you’re anything like me - impatient with a drive to attack & bend every problem to my will - you will need to learn to trust and get more comfortable with ambiguity. That’s been the hardest part for me.

- There’s likely tons of resources out there to help - people who can smack insurance companies upside the head, help with transportation, meals or whatever. Take them up on the offers when appropriate- don’t try to go thru this alone.

Best of luck to your wife. Feel free to PM if questions or you just want to talk.

[cspringsposer]

Thanks TBS. I am so sorry you and Mrs. TBS are going through this.

Good chance I will be reaching out to a couple of you who have been through this for advice. We don't know stage or severity, but we were informed earlier today that it is malignant.

After we both got done crying we realized there aren't two people in this world more capable of beating this. My wife is a strong woman that faces her fears head on and wins, we literally have the best insurance on the planet (Federal Blue Cross/Blue Shield) and I am a pit bull that will be in everyone's ass until they get whatever it is right.

We are both terrified, but we are also very grateful to be in the position to fight and win this battle.

[Trackhead]

It’s hard for everyone obviously. I had a weird sense of guilt for being a burden on my family. It’s ridiculous, but couldn’t shake it. Chemo made me predictably VERY suicidal every time about days 3-4 after infusion. I fantasized pretty incessantly about walking off in a cold field, lying down, and dying. Either the chemo or the dexamethasone made me really insane.

[cspringsposer]

It’s hard for everyone obviously. I had a weird sense of guilt for being a burden on my family. It’s ridiculous, but couldn’t shake it. Chemo made me predictably VERY suicidal every time about days 3-4 after infusion. I fantasized pretty incessantly about walking off in a cold field, lying down, and dying. Either the chemo or the dexamethasone made me really insane.

I can't imagine any member of your family ever thought of you as a burden, but I definitely get it. I am sure you want to be the provider/protector and having to rely on others probably just doesn't feel natural.

As someone that has gone through this, how do I make sure my wife knows she isn't a burden and there is nothing I won't do for her? I love my wife more than anything in the world but I don't know how to act or how to be supportive. I fucked up and she saw me crying, but hopefully that is the only time she sees that. I really just want to be strong and be whatever she needs me to be to get her through this.

[Meadow Skipper]

As someone that has gone through this, how do I make sure my wife knows she isn't a burden and there is nothing I won't do for her? I love my wife more than anything in the world but I don't know how to act or how to be supportive. I fucked up and she saw me crying, but hopefully that is the only time she sees that. I really just want to be strong and be whatever she needs me to be to get her through this.

You love her, tight? Be there. Let her know she isn’t a burden and there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for her. Be strong and be whatever she needs you to be to get her through this.

Get help and support for each of you whenever you can, get/let other people help you and her. It’s kind of crucial that you take time for yourself when you need it and have the opportunities because it might well be pretty hard for you at times. With my wife there were times when I melted down under the pressures (it was a seven year ordeal for us), and I really regret that. But if you do the best, the very best, you can then I expect love will carry you and her through.