Management advice

[spook]

I'm pretty new to management and have a dilemma that someone here has had to deal with in the past and seeking advice.

We hired this young guy fresh out of college a while ago. He is my direct report. He has a long time girlfriend that he never shuts up about. She also recently went off to grad school but they are keeping the relationship going long distance (stupid, but who am I to judge).
Recently he has been spending an awful lot of time with another young chica here. And their relationship is glaringly obvious to pretty much everyone.

Now normally I would keep my trap shut and mind my business but he is giving himself a bad rep around the office. Which sucks because he his a great worker and nice guy minus the infidelity.
I see myself as able to not only manage this kid but mentor him. He's young and makes mistakes like we all do. He respects me and I feel I should kind of push him in the right direction. Hell, I fucked up so many times I can explain why his stupid shenanigans will likely blow up in his face.

I want to tell him
#1: he is being looked at like kind of an asshole to his peers. We are full of millennials and the majority are female. They know what's going on.
#2: he should probably avoid work relationships on the whole as they usually cause problems.

Should I mind my business? Or is this exactly the type of situation a good manager jumps in to?

Thanks.

haha. mentor.

[4matic]

good news - was wondering what happened - what a cluster fuck

Thanks. All claims public and private denied. He did get a generous two week paid vacation for claiming work stress and still could attempt a comeback to milk some more money but it won't last.

[Hugh Conway]

You obviously never worked with a major group of women.

never worked with a group of women period.

[systemoverblow'd]

Manage tasks. Not people. If the company doesn't have a dating policy and he's not married it's none of your business.

No offense (and again, I'm new to this) that sounds like a really fucking cold and systematic way of looking at an office environment. We pride ourselves on "openness" (I'm literally the only one in the company with an office, not even the CEO) and a collaborative work environment. We aren't a bunch of pencil pushing suits, we are young, we hang outside of work, we collaborate, etc. We are all about our people.

We try to do everything we can do guide and build good relationships in the workplace. We have value awards, we have an internal website for shoutouts of others work, we do 360 reviews of our peers during review time, we celebrate work that matters and that can only be accomplished in our line of work with good working relationships. Fuck I would hate to work with people that think like your company.

haha. mentor.

I only play an asshole on the internet. Contrary to popular belief I am a semi-intelligent, nice person in the real world.

[systemoverblow'd]

never worked with a group of women period.

I see what you did there. Forgot about the whole trustfund thing.

[spook]

You're too new to management to start making stupid decisions for yourself, call in HR.

it's like dogshit piling on dogshit!

[spook]

Ahhh . ANother graduate of the 4matic school of management

4matic can't fire anybody

[spook]

Thanks for the real advice everyone. I would never go to HR unless it was something serious. This isn't really serious. Worst case is he pisses of chica at work or his gf and that is his own shit to deal with. But it could make his work life hell in the future and THAT is what I want to mitigate if I can in anyway. Because if shit goes down and he can't realistically do his job because of friction, then it becomes a problem with HR as he will be useless to me.

he could get dumped by both and come to work, um, angry

[DBdude]

I see what you did there. Forgot about the whole trustfund thing.

lol - funny - Hugh is a geek of some sort and works at a sausage fest - not unusual at all. I worked at a place where the entire top floor consisting of at least 100 employees was 90% male - it was fun and absolutely hilarious because anything went. it was so un PC. senior leaders behaving like foul mouthed frat boys. good times - lots of drinking on the job

[4matic]

No offense (and again, I'm new to this) that sounds like a really fucking cold and systematic way of looking at an office environment. We pride ourselves on "openness" (I'm literally the only one in the company with an office, not even the CEO) and a collaborative work environment. We aren't a bunch of pencil pushing suits, we are young, we hang outside of work, we collaborate, etc. We are all about our people.

We try to do everything we can do guide and build good relationships in the workplace. We have value awards, we have an internal website for shoutouts of others work, we do 360 reviews of our peers during review time, we celebrate work that matters and that can only be accomplished in our line of work with good working relationships. Fuck I would hate to work with people that think like your company.
.

Does your company have a dating policy?

Employee gets fired for whatever reason and files lawsuit because he was wrongly fired due to jealousy of other employees because you told him they were jealous or offended.

[4matic]

4matic can't fire anybody

Help them out of the company by managing performance.

[Hugh Conway]

with or without a trustfund you won't find groups of women in tech.Well - there were a bunch of assembly techs who were women, but you aren't talking about htat.

[spook]

good news - was wondering what happened - what a cluster fuck

yeah, 4matic really runs a smooth ship

[4matic]

with or without a trustfund you won't find groups of women in tech.

MIS.......

[DBdude]

yeah, 4matic really runs a smooth ship

4matic runs support staff in 24x7 environment, it sucks, somebody has to do it, not me thank goodness. usually I am all about the lols in this place, but I do understand where he is at. the support manager on my team is an absolute hard on. he is under resourced and lots of need/demand. it blows, glad I don't work on his team

[systemoverblow'd]

Does your company have a dating policy?

Employee gets fired for whatever reason and files lawsuit because he was wrongly fired due to jealousy of other employees because you told him they were jealous or offended.

Is that all you're concerned about... what happens when you fire someone? No wonder your DR didn't want to work for you if all you're waiting for is a chance to fire the guy. This kid has ZERO reason to worry about being fired. Unless he really fucks up when working on the road, or burns the place down, he is pretty secure. I worry more about him quitting to find a job where he can shoot more than worrying about the day he maybe makes a mistake.

I guess that's what makes my company a place people WANT to go to work for.

[DBdude]

MIS.......

misinformation systems - lol

[DBdude]

Is that all you're concerned about... what happens when you fire someone? No wonder your DR didn't want to work for you if all you're waiting for is a chance to fire the guy. This kid has ZERO reason to worry about being fired. Unless he really fucks up when working on the road, or burns the place down, he is pretty secure. I worry more about him quitting to find a job where he can shoot more than worrying about the day he maybe makes a mistake.

I guess that's what makes my company a place people WANT to go to work for.

different industry - different culture - relax man

[Tye 1on]

I'm already home

Yeah, we go out and get drinks often. Maybe I'll just bring it up then as "just a little piece of advice you can take or leave."

that's what my dumbass would likely do.

[systemoverblow'd]

different industry - different culture - relax man

that's what my dumbass would likely do.

Probably seems like the best course of action.

[4matic]

4matic runs support staff in 24x7 environment, it sucks, somebody has to do it, not me thank goodness. usually I am all about the lols in this place, but I do understand where he is at. the support manager on my team is an absolute hard on. he is under resourced and lots of need/demand. it blows, glad I don't work on his team

It does suck. 2000 servers and many times more applications to support globally 24/7. I have a great staff though and I'd do anything for them as long as they play as a team. Very low turnover until last year.

[DBdude]

LOL!!

I can't wait to get out of work - nice dinner planned and then get laid

[4matic]

This kid has ZERO reason to worry about being fired..

So, if you don't have a dating policy his fraternizing is none of your business. Manage his tasks. Our company, and most, have a policy about managers fraternizing outside work. It can be grounds for disciplinary action.

[systemoverblow'd]

So, if you don't have a dating policy his fraternizing is none of your business. Manage his tasks. Our company, and most, have a policy about managers fraternizing outside work. It can be grounds for disciplinary action.

Oh for fuckssakes. You live and work in the stone age. I went to a client meeting in flip-flops this week. Most new companies (10-15 years old), especially ones that involve tech are shying away from those archaic mores. It's fucking ridiculous.

[4matic]

Oh for fuckssakes. You live and work in the stone age. I went to a client meeting in flip-flops this week. Most new companies (10-15 years old), especially ones that involve tech are shying away from those archaic mores. It's fucking ridiculous.

Actually, the culture you describe is outdated from the 80's.

Google:

Finally, romantic relationships between co-workers can, depending on the work roles and respective positions of the co-workers involved, create an actual or apparent conflict of interest. If a romantic relationship does create an actual or apparent conflict, it may require changes to work arrangements or even the termination of employment of either or both individuals involved. Consult Google’s Employee Handbook for additional guidance on this issue.