WWMD -I'm Not a D.O.M.

[oftpiste]

Stand up and waggle your wiener at them so there's no mistaking your intentions. Chicks dig that.

[OldLarry]

Just put a camera on a tripod pointed right at the trail and an industrial sized tub of lube in plain sight.

[Hugh Conway]

Hire this dude as your neighbor's gardener:
http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random...-hes-innocent/

[TomCrac]

maybe this fits better here ...

[Tippster]

Stand up and waggle your wiener at them so there's no mistaking your intentions. Chicks dig that.

Oddly enough, despite being on your own property, I believe that's against the law.

[splat]

Ass Massage - $5

Put that sign up and you'll be sure to get some conversations started. They have these pervs that show up at burning man every year and put up signs for a 'free yoni massage' and chicks fall for it year after year. They finally did a story about those dudes in the black rock gazette or whatever the burner newspaper is called. You're good to go til someone writes a story about you.

[oftpiste]

Oddly enough, despite being on your own property, I believe that's against the law.

and that's stopped anyone how? and so, I think, is having over 26,000 posts on tgr.

[wooley12]

didn't you tell a story earlier about a girl who was flirting with you?

the obvious answer is to hose off your collection of 10"-12" dildos on your deck railing every morning while you sip your coffee.

You speak of the hot neighbor that I met while hiking in the forest behind my house who told me she slept naked in a tent in the forest behind my house when her husband was away moose hunting in Canada? I'm still wondering if that was a come-on or just neighborly chit chat.

[The Reverend Floater]

The obvious answer is a clown suit and blow darts but it sounds like you're looking for something more sophisticated.

[spook]

You speak of the hot neighbor that I met while hiking in the forest behind my house who told me she slept naked in a tent in the forest behind my house when her husband was away moose hunting in Canada? I'm still wondering if that was a come-on or just neighborly chit chat.

so we have enough evidence to conclude that you are, in fact, a dirty old man.

[spook]

put up a detour sign that points to you and your ground level hot tub.

[spook]

man, if i didn't have to wait 45 seconds between posts i could really rack em up.

[wooley12]

I really want to know how not to spook them so they enjoy their jog while I discretely ogle. I'm thinking cool shades.

[splat]

put up a detour sign that points to you and your ground level hot tub.

Nah, one of those industrial signs with flip card numbers that says, "It has been 3 days since a woman dehydrated on this trail. Please soak."

[powder11]

Install a game camera on your deck that automaticaly uploads to a website, say creeperdeck.com, where viewers can rate the joggers passing by in real time.

[flatNshallow]

get a puppy, its a great ice breaker ...

...and name him Wingman.

[irul&ublo]

Lemonade stand.

Wouldn't a hot dog stand be more like it?

[Tippster]

and that's stopped anyone how? and so, I think, is having over 26,000 posts on tgr.

Although admittedly just as masturbatory I do believe soaking TGR with useless drivel is still legal in DC and a few States.

[GBB]

Install a game camera on your deck that automaticaly uploads to a website, say creeperdeck.com, where viewers can rate the joggers passing by in real time.

A stroke of twisted genius.

[oftpiste]

Although admittedly just as masturbatory I do believe soaking TGR with useless drivel is still legal in DC and a few States.

Indeed, and why I remain as well. That and the masturbatory factor.

[Benny Profane]

I'm still wondering if that was a come-on or just neighborly chit chat.

It was a come on. Watch out, though, her husband might be in there.

[Tippster]

Indeed, and why I remain as well. That and the masturbatory factor.

^5!

(after washing our hands)

[wooley12]

It was a come on. Watch out, though, her husband might be in there.

I've moved from that location. After a lifetime of having nothing but 100's leading to 1000's of acres of forest and farm land as a back yard my new location is at the edge of the wilderness but backs up to this



and this

..makes them nervous and that's not my intent. Should I wear shades? Wave? Turn away?

Once again you mags come through. After pondering over all of your wonderful off topic replies to the issue, I see that my discomfort results from my own environmentally induced social retardation. I'm going with the shades and a wave when appropriate.

[spook]

i used these through several years of an unpleasant academic experience to help with my back spasms. they may help you, too.

[splat]

Photos of nekkid tent chica, please....

Make sure to tell it's not for you but your internet friends.