Results 44,451 to 44,475 of 46300
Thread: Shit that annoys you
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12-04-2023, 07:28 PM #44451
Supermarket "deals". Reg price $6, on sale for $2. But you have to buy 4 to get the lower price.
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12-04-2023, 10:06 PM #44452Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Joisey
- Posts
- 2,656
I was visiting my brother a couple of weeks ago and he is now single since his wife passed last year. I'm taking a shower when i see red water in the shower. A lot of it. All I could think of was the movie Carrie, but I ain't got no vagina. I'm checking my pecker and nothing and then I'm thinking something ruptured it my ass. To say I was scared is an understatement. I was almost panicking and thinking I should yell for help. Then I realized that the new burgundy wash cloth I was using had not been washed and was bleeding. Total bachelor move.
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12-04-2023, 10:28 PM #44453
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12-04-2023, 11:12 PM #44454
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12-05-2023, 12:01 AM #44455
Using the salt grinder, instead of the salt shaker, and accidentally throwing off my ability to judge appropriate amount. Resulting in a soup that is too salty.
"If I wanted it to taste like canned soup, I would have just bought canned soup."
Time to add 3 more potatoes.
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12-05-2023, 12:19 AM #44456
I'm sure I must have posted this before but I got called to the ER in the middle of the night for a guy with a blue hand. Which usually means a blood clot in the artery, emergency surgery, a chance of winding up with a useless hand or worse. But 30 something guy, no pain, good pulse, and the blue--which was more like teal, washed off. The guy couldn't figure out where it came from.
I needed a corkscrew at Safeway today. Buy 1, get one free, except there was only one.
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12-05-2023, 12:28 AM #44457
That sounds like a verse from “Isn’t it Ironic” that didn’t make the cut.
Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident
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12-05-2023, 06:14 AM #44458
My late uncle, D.O. ENT
His favorite joke
Guy goes to the doctor because his penis is orange. He’s very concerned.
Doc does an examination and starts asking questions.
Finally asks has anything changed in your life lately?
Guy says yeah. I lost my job two weeks ago
Doc asks how has that affected your normal routine?
Guy says yeah, a little bit, I mostly sit around all day eating Cheetos and masturbating.. . .
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12-05-2023, 05:22 PM #44459Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Posts
- 9,940
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12-05-2023, 06:13 PM #44460Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2003
- Location
- none
- Posts
- 8,369
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12-05-2023, 06:33 PM #44461
He was a machinist so I figure it must have been something at work but he couldn't think of what. It wasn't from the lining of his jacket. I had a pair of goretex and leather ski gloves that were still turning my hands blue after 20 years. Now they're turning my son's hands blue. I've moved on.
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12-07-2023, 07:24 PM #44462
Ring shank nails. FML.
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12-08-2023, 09:25 AM #44463
TIL that only most stainless steel is magnetic, not all, and my pans are in that unfortunate minority. Looks like my new range is coming with a new set of pans, fuck.
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12-08-2023, 09:52 AM #44464
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12-08-2023, 12:13 PM #44465Best regards, Terry
(Direct Contact is best vs PMs)
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12-08-2023, 12:51 PM #44466
I found this out anecdotally the other day. Being fat and lazy, I was using the magnetic sweeper to clean up a bunch of miscellaneous spilled metal fasteners off the floor. One of them would twitch a little but wouldn't stick to the sweeper. It looked like steel to me. New one on me.
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12-08-2023, 03:16 PM #44467
I’m pretty sure I scratched my eyeball dealing with contacts somehow.
It sucks.Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident
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12-08-2023, 03:17 PM #44468
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12-08-2023, 03:20 PM #44469
Last edited by rideit; 12-08-2023 at 04:51 PM.
Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident
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12-08-2023, 07:10 PM #44470
Hot Tate is hot
. . .
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12-08-2023, 07:53 PM #44471
I ordered an "in-stock" couch a month ago, and tracking had it at the local warehouse for delivery two weeks ago. I finally got a delivery scheduled for this afternoon between 2 and 6 pm, so I take the afternoon off and wait for them. Get a call at 6:45 that their truck is broken and they can't make it today, so they will have to call back and reschedule. If I get it by New Years I'll be shocked.
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12-08-2023, 08:27 PM #44472Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Posts
- 9,940
Cancel the order unless they take 50% off for pain and suffering, not to mention lost revenue.
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12-08-2023, 08:57 PM #44473
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12-08-2023, 08:59 PM #44474
My 6 months-old is going through a growth spurt at the moment, went from sleeping through most nights to waking up 3 or 4x to eat, and being royally pissed about it. Last night was particularly bad, Ms Boissal was at work and the babe was inconsolable. She finally settled for good around 6AM and I managed to pass out. I wake up at 7:45 AM to the sound of a chainsaw right outside my window. WTF? It's snowing, miserable shitfuck weather, who is getting after a tree so early? Massive operation directly across the street at a house that has been unoccupied for 3 months, 2 trucks, a crane, 2 dudes with chainsaw, 2 giant chippers. They're taking down a MASSIVE tree in the backyard. Fucking hell, today of all days. Baby is immediately awake and raging, her mom gets home after a heinous shift, everyone's worked, nobody can sleep. I poke my nose outside just in time to see the crane swinging a 40' section of tree over the house to lower it on the street. The fucker is swinging wildly and one of the big branches rams into one of the young maples that shade our yard, snapping a bunch of branches from it. Great...
The crew is at it until 11AM but leaves a very clean job site at least. The maple will grow back, not much to do about it anyway. The babe finally goes down for a nap and I start considering some rest myself when another tree company shows up and fires up their chipper at the next house up the street. Sure, why the fuck not... At least it didn't wake her up, but I didn't get any sleep.
An hour later and I kid you not, a giant truck shows up to pump the sewer or something of the sort directly in front of the house. There's the pump truck which is loud as fuck, and a cistern truck right behind it that's just idling there, contentedly piping decibels straight into my brain. They got done around 2PM. I must have filed a solid millimeter off my teeth from all the gnashing.
So glad I was "working from home" today."Your wife being mad is temporary, but pow turns do not get unmade" - mallwalker the wise
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12-08-2023, 09:11 PM #44475
You haven't lived till you've experienced a house being demoed and rebuilt nextdoor. Caissons and everything. While working from home...
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