Mini-Van Drivers

[BmillsSkier]

With 15 stick figure family characters on the rear windshield, driving 15mph under the speed limit, taking up two lanes every 20 seconds because she has to constantly turn around to tend to her participation-trophy recipients, and when you finally get the opportunity to lead the 15 cars behind her to the promised land of 35mph her emasculated husband riding shotgun and she raise all 4 hands in the air, including those formerly attached to the steering wheel, accompanied with dumbfounded looks of rage when you pass them by as if your sole intent on the road is to commit vehicular manslaughter of every stick figure you pass.

Worst damn drivers on the road as a class, bar none.

/sent from my iPhone while driving in rush hour.

[Tech Tonics]

Apparently you haven't hung out in New Mexico. The big-haired overweight middle aged hoochie-momma with the long painted fingernails is far far worse than any soccer mom. I got rammed at a stop light for merging but not waving. Rammed.

[brice618]

Why do they always drive a Ford Exploder? Why?!

[BmillsSkier]

Apparently you haven't hung out in New Mexico. The big-haired overweight middle aged hoochie-momma with the long painted fingernails is far far worse than any soccer mom. I got rammed at a stop light for merging but not waving. Rammed.

How'd they explain that one to the cops/insurance co.?

Why do they always drive a Ford Exploder? Why?!

Heh, I haven't heard anyone else call em Exploders since my buddy's exploded back in college over a period of 2 weeks.

Around here the worst offenders are in minivans. The women in the LX 470s, Suburbans, GL500s, or any other very large SUV HATE the minivan moms and are treated as traitorous bitches from the moms in the stick-figure-family mafia.

[guroo270]

I can't stand the stick figure stickers, but saw a funny one the other day where the dad and the kid were there next to mom, but the mom had an X over her and off to the side it said, "Accepting applications."

[stuckathuntermtn]

Everyone here drives around town at about 5mph below the speed limit and there is a good 1 Mississippi before anyone moves when the light turns green, probably because they're putting down their bowls. Then the same people go 80 through the part of the highway they lowered the limit to 65 on, in the middle of a snow storm. ?????

Good thing they passed a hands free law so I can't get caught up on messages and phone calls and shit on the way back from skiing without one of those dickhead Bluetooth things. I'm not getting one. If I wanna call my mom and bitch about the traffic, I'm gonna call my mom and bitch about the traffic and I'm gonna hold the phone.

[Hugh Conway]

why do you hate jesus and republicans?

[goldenshowers]

Worst damn drivers on the road as a class, bar none.

Tough call, but I think that I would have to give the win to asian drivers over minivan moms for worst overall drivers.

[iceman]

A couple miles from my house up on the main road there's three Asian churches (one Korean and two Chinese) side-by-side-by-side. They all let out right at 12:00 on Sundays. We just don't go up there around then anymore.

[warthog]

Heh- my wife drives a Yukon Denali, for this very reason. No stick figures either- just a little crimson A and a Salt Life sticker on the other side. Real classy like.

I drive a lot for work. I see it all.
There are two sub classes of the mini van driver. There is the slow swerving mom mobile, but they are pretty rare. What I see more often is the pissed off, up your ass, outta my way, I have to drive this piece of shit and I hate it, mini van drivers. Male or female, doesn't matter. They are pissed. Easily the most dangerous person on the road, next to the BMW 3 series douche, and the ricers with coffee can mufflers.

I did see the little old asian lady driving the mini van once. I thought a black hole was gonna open up, and *poof*- end of the world.

[AdironRider]

I had a mini van handme down for a summer when I was 16. Dont talk shit about vans, the teenage boys sexual conquests increase ten fold with a nice van with lots of space.

[Obstruction]

While we are on the subject of stick figures defacing autos WTF is up with the bumper adornments that show "Billy #74 pee wee hockey star" or "Shondra prima ballerina." Are they just trying to provide the pedos of the world with conversation starters or what?

[liv2ski]

People with NV license plates seem to always through me over the edge, as they drive slower than a constipated shit. Combine that with an Asian mom, driving the soccer van and my head would likely implode.

[MontuckyFried]

...and when you finally get the opportunity to lead the 15 cars behind her to the promised land of 35mph her emasculated husband riding shotgun and she raise all 4 hands in the air, including those formerly attached to the steering wheel, accompanied with dumbfounded looks of rage when you pass them by as if your sole intent on the road is to commit vehicular manslaughter of every stick figure you pass.

The rage expressed when passing a slow driver has always baffled me. Happened to me a few weeks back. I was driving the V on a beautiful, snow-free day. Was getting on an onramp to I-90 at Big Timber, and was stuck behind a Ferd Excursion doing 20 and swerving around (I could see the dude fumbling with his cell phone). Asshole was gonna get me killed getting on the highway so slowly. Thus, I dropped my car into 2nd, floored it, and zipped around him doing warp 10 (God I love my car sometimes), safely matching highway speed to get on the interstate. Dude throws his phone down, waves his fists at me in anger, then speeds up as fast he can to express some faux road-rage at me. Umm, I'm in a way faster car, bub. Buh-bye!

You're right, though. Many times have I observed the road rage behind the wheel of a mini-van. You would think they'd want to be calm in the name of safety for their stick-figure family, but nope. Really setting a good example for your kids, assholes. Yup, they must just be pissed at the world because they're living a mediocre soccer-mom life, spending all their time carting their brats around, while you probably have a nice set of skis strapped to the top of your ride, and no infant car seat in the back.

[stfu&gbtw]

Sometimes though, it's the person passing who's out of line. I was driving up on LL pass one day last week, heading east. I was stuck behind a guy going slow, but not THAT slow. The road was snow covered and it was snowing a bit. We were probably doing 30. I figured I'd wait for the next straightaway and pass him... But some dude (middle aged, driving a tdi wagon no less) decides waiting for the straightaway is for pussies. Guns it up to about 50 and passes both me and the guy ahead of me on a blind corner. Barely held it together and was lucky enough no one was coming. Had he done that on the next curve, he would have gone head on into a tractor trailer.

[PNWbrit]

Easily the most dangerous person on the road, next to the BMW 3 series douche,

BMW 1 series drivers are even worse.... couldn't afford a real one so pedal this little one really fast/badly instead.

[concretejungle]

Sometimes though, it's the person passing who's out of line. I was driving up on LL pass one day last week, heading east. I was stuck behind a guy going slow, but not THAT slow. The road was snow covered and it was snowing a bit. We were probably doing 30. I figured I'd wait for the next straightaway and pass him... But some dude (middle aged, driving a tdi wagon no less) decides waiting for the straightaway is for pussies. Guns it up to about 50 and passes both me and the guy ahead of me on a blind corner. Barely held it together and was lucky enough no one was coming. Had he done that on the next curve, he would have gone head on into a tractor trailer.

Which part of LL pass? Unless it's the part right past the hitchhiking pickup you can pretty much see the whole way to the pass so "sketchy" passing really isn't that bad it's just seems like it.

Thank god I've moved away from traffic. Here the issue is 20 cars posted up in one lane at a red light while the other lane has 2 or 3. At first it really irked me before I decided I'll just move to the front of the line. Also, dudes in big ass trucks and semis driving way too fast for conditions on the interstate and then winding up in a ditch. I've ceased to have sympathy for that type of behavior.

[Hugh Conway]

BMW 1 series drivers are even worse.... couldn't afford a real one so pedal this little one really fast/badly instead.

now that's pimply cellphone salesman driving a kitted A4 douche; 3-series douches have mergedinto the broader sales douche multi-tasking on the phone with a bluetooth import sedan snobmobile category

[warthog]

BMW 1 series drivers are even worse.... couldn't afford a real one so pedal this little one really fast/badly instead.

I just started noticing those around here. Have they been out for a while? Competing with Audi A3 type stuff?
I can't make a judgement on how their drivers are, but everyone I've seen driving one was a high school or college age female, so we can just guess.

[Obstruction]

I just started noticing those around here. Have they been out for a while? Competing with Audi A3 type stuff?
I can't make a judgement on how their drivers are, but everyone I've seen driving one was a high school or college age female, so we can just guess.

2008 or 2009. The 135 has a lot of motor in a small package same as 335 but the one looks like shite unfortunately.

[AdironRider]

A BMW 1M is the best car theyve made in the past ten years, so they arent all bad.

[PNWbrit]

2008 or 2009. The 135 has a lot of motor in a small package same as 335 but the one looks like shite unfortunately.

They're supposed to be great cars. But they appear to appeal to the asspirational crowd.

[toast2266]

What I see more often is the pissed off, up your ass, outta my way, I have to drive this piece of shit and I hate it, mini van drivers.

I love those guys - "my wife bought this shitty mini-van, but I'm going to drive it like a sports car." I just drop in a few hundred feed behind them and let them work as a radar sweep.

[fatnslow]

Bitches please !! I am a asian minivan driver. As in slanted eyes in a Honda not from sinking a bowl but from driving too fast with the windows open. If I play my cards right at soccer games I can get soccer mom on all four in the back of the minivan with the tinted windows during half time.

[chatton18]

Around here the worst minivan drivers are the illegal immigrants going 10mph below the speed limit in a shitty 1996 dodge caravan bc they're afraid to get a ticket.

But the asian women always have and always will take the cake for worst on the road.