Help, my new cat's a real bitch

[GordonShumway]

So 4 year old son wants a kitty for his birthday. Mom and I grew up with cats, how bad could it be right? We pick up a seemingly friendly cat from the local shelter and bring her home. 5 days of acclimating in a separate room from our lab, follow all the instructions about bringing in blankets with smells, etc... So she's finally out and roaming the house and she's a total cunt. She attacks our lab, hisses at all of us at the slightest provocation, and has now scratched our 4 year old about a half dozen times. I'm about ready to kick her ass out and let her spend a night outside among the cougars/bears/coyotes we have around here.

It's been 2 weeks and she's not calming the fuck down. Any tips on what we can do? She's super skittish, and doesn't seem to be getting any better.

/blog

[iscariot]

It's been 2 weeks and she's not calming the fuck down. Any tips on what we can do? She's super skittish, and doesn't seem to be getting any better.

You answered your own question.

Try the process again, over the course of two months. If you don't have the time or the inclination, you shouldn't have gotten a cat as a present.

[rideit]

Does your 4 year old like Lo mein?

[Blurred]

Your name is Gordon Shumway.

Why haven't you eaten the cat already?!!!!

[GordonShumway]

Your name is Gordon Shumway.

Why haven't you eaten the cat already?!!!!

LOL! Willie and Kate never liked when I tried to eat their cat, I'm trying to reform.

I actually do like cats and I'm not looking to get rid of her, but scratching my kids is getting old fast.

Try the process again, over the course of two months.

I've never heard it taking more than a weekend to a week to mostly acclimate. You think I need to throw her ass back in the spare room?

[BCMtnHound]

At the very least, wrap the little spaz in a blanket and trim her nails. If she's always inside, there's no need for her to have sharp claws. Might spare your 4yr old some damage in the interm.

[PNWbrit]

cats are over rated.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

cats are over rated.

This.

Some cats are just plain mean/skittish/weird and some are super chill and friendly. Take this one back and exchange it for a better one. Or a puppy.

[Lonnie]

She'll take it....

[iscariot]

I've never heard it taking more than a weekend to a week to mostly acclimate. You think I need to throw her ass back in the spare room?

Yes. Keep it in the spare room until it feels like that's a safe spot. Keep food, water, litter box in the room. Make sure their full and fresh.

Go into the room to visit with the cat once or twice a day for 20 minutes to half an hour. Don't interact with the cat, just sit on the couch/bed and let the cat do its thing. Try to do this at the same times each day.

After a week or two of this, let the cat out to wander for 20 minutes a day, put the dog away somewhere during this time. Just open the door and let the cat do what it wants. If it comes out, great, if not that's cool too. If the cat comes out of the room, don't interact with it or fuss over it. Just chillout and watch quietly. Let the cat do its thing. Try to do this a couple of times a day at the same time each day.

After a few weeks, leave the door to the spare room open at night. Keep the dog separately in your room at night. Make sure that the cat can get to its room if it needs a place to feel safe.

Baby steps is the key here. You have no idea what this cat has experienced in the past, so take it slow. It has to learn to trust you, and patience is the key to earning its trust. Be sure to explain all of the steps to your kid, and make sure he is calm and doesn't interact too much with the cat.

Once the cat is behaving calmly, then introduce the dog, very gradually over a long period of time.

Over the course of 2 moths or so, this process will have done several things:

1. The cat will have an established safe place to hide if its feeling stressed and will know his "home" where he is safe and get food and water.
2. The cat will be allowed to become familiar with its surroundings on its own terms and time scale, this reduces stress and chances of related attacks.
3. The cat will become accustomed to his new family members, on his own terms and time scale, with less stress and less forcing of the issue, this reduces chances of related attacks.
4. The cat and dog will have a far longer time period to get used to each others smells, without confrontational interactions. They may never get along, but they will likely eventually learn to stay out of each others way.


The cat is freaking out. Slow, steady, progressive, baby steps is the key.

Once the cat is fully comfortable, then training can begin. Keep a spray bottle of water or a very light solution of water and lemon or vinegar. Cat does something you don't like. Squirt it. If the cat is crawling on you while you're doing your thing, and you don't want this, be sure to be consistent, keep a glass of water handy and dip your fingers in the water and flick it on the cat. This will help to resolve any possible hierarchy issues the cat may develop. It will know that you and your family are at the top, and not the cat. If the cat bites, scratches or becomes aggressive after the aforementioned break in period, it goes in the room for a day. Treats and training for the cat doing good things, will help immensely.

My last cat could come, sit, stay, beg, and catch a treat in the air with its paws while begging. He grew up on the street for the first ~9 months of his life, and it took a long time and a lot of work and patience to get him to be a well behaved cat.

[iscariot]

She'll take it....

I didn't know DBT's daughter was on eHarmony.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

Yes. Keep it in the spare room until it feels like that's a safe spot. Keep food, water, litter box in the room. Make sure their full and fresh.

Go into the room to visit with the cat once or twice a day for 20 minutes to half an hour. Don't interact with the cat, just sit on the couch/bed and let the cat do its thing. Try to do this at the same times each day.

After a week or two of this, let the cat out to wander for 20 minutes a day, put the dog away somewhere during this time. Just open the door and let the cat do what it wants. If it comes out, great, if not that's cool too. If the cat comes out of the room, don't interact with it or fuss over it. Just chillout and watch quietly. Let the cat do its thing. Try to do this a couple of times a day at the same time each day.

After a few weeks, leave the door to the spare room open at night. Keep the dog separately in your room at night. Make sure that the cat can get to it if it needs a place to feel safe.

Baby steps is the key here. You have no idea what this cat has experienced in the past, so take it slow. It has to learn to trust you, and patience is the key to earning its trust. Be sure to explain all of the steps to your kid, and make sure he is calm and doesn't interact too much with the cat.

Once the cat is behaving calmly, then introduce the dog, very gradually over a long period of time.

Over the course of 2 moths or so, this process will have done several things:

1. The cat will have an established safe place to hide if its feeling stressed and will know his "home" where he is safe and get food and water.
2. The cat will be allowed to become familiar with its surroundings on its own terms and time scale, this reduces stress and chances of related attacks.
3. The cat will become accustomed to his new family members, on his own terms and time scale, with less stress and less forcing of the issue, this reduces chances of related attacks.
4. The cat and dog will have a far longer time period to get used to each others smells, without confrontational interactions. They may never get along, but they will likely eventually learn to stay out of each others way.


The cat is freaking out. Slow, steady, progressive, baby steps is the key.

Or get a puppy.

[Jer]

Usually, I consider iscariot to be one of the more retarded posters on this board, but he's right on with this subject. Listen to him. Cats do not like change.

Also - I'd be really hesitant to even joke about kicking your cat out to get eaten by coyotes around here. There are a few really psychotic/violent people who read these forums - you never know.

Good luck with the kitteh.

[PNWbrit]

Or get a puppy.

Next time you're dressing the kids wounds from a cat scratching explain, "honey you see this is why we don't like cats, wouldn't you really prefer a puppy instead?"

[hutash]

You can also add a product called Feliway which is the kitty equivalent of baking chocolate chip cookie smells. It makes cats feel at home and helps settle them down.

That said, some cats are just psycho, especial females (well, that's redundant.)

[carvedog]

She'll take it....

Not normally a violent person at all, and she just makes me want to punch her.
As soon as she started talking too, I didn't even have to get to the part about cats.

To the OP. Sorry to hear. We inherited/adopted a cat from my wife's sister and he has turned out to be a sweetheart. There was one training session that involved getting woken up at 3 am regularly, a shower, much squalling, everyone becoming awake (not just me), but we have achieved peace. The training should have involved gloves, so it would have involved less neosporin.

Good luck.

[Lonnie]

I didn't know DBT's daughter was on eHarmony.

Not normally a violent person at all, and she just makes me want to punch her.
As soon as she started talking too, I didn't even have to get to the part about cats.

Round 2....

[GordonShumway]

I knew this thread would bring the LOLZ and good advice at the same time.. I love TGR.

Having a dog already, I figured a cat would be cake. No potty training, no taking her out for walks, etc... But god damned cats can be a lot of work!

Also - I'd be really hesitant to even joke about kicking your cat out to get eaten by coyotes around here. There are a few really psychotic/violent people who read these forums - you never know.

No crazy PMs yet Seriously though, I’m not going to kick her out to become big cat catfood, calm down crazy cat people.

About putting her back in the spare room: it’s funny, about day 5 of her being in there she’d scratch at the door and act like she wanted out in the worst way. So next morning we opened the door and she came out, walked around, meow’d, and did your basic cat shit. She’s mostly cool, will follow us around when we’re upstairs (she doesn’t come downstairs much yet) and wants to be petted all the time. But if you walk up to her too fast she freaks. And sometimes she just gets all uppity. It’s kind of funny with the dog, he has more than 100 lbs on her, but he’s completely whipped and scared to go anywhere near her. Like I said, she’s a real uppity bitch

[iscariot]

I knew this thread would bring the LOLZ and good advice at the same time.. I love TGR.

Having a dog already, I figured a cat would be cake. No potty training, no taking her out for walks, etc... But god damned cats can be a lot of work!



No crazy PMs yet Seriously though, I’m not going to kick her out to become big cat catfood, calm down crazy cat people.

About putting her back in the spare room: it’s funny, about day 5 of her being in there she’d scratch at the door and act like she wanted out in the worst way. So next morning we opened the door and she came out, walked around, meow’d, and did your basic cat shit. She’s mostly cool, will follow us around when we’re upstairs (she doesn’t come downstairs much yet) and wants to be petted all the time. But if you walk up to her too fast she freaks. And sometimes she just gets all uppity. It’s kind of funny with the dog, he has more than 100 lbs on her, but he’s completely whipped and scared to go anywhere near her. Like I said, she’s a real uppity bitch

Well shit! Why didn't you say that before!?

In that case grab a pillow case and toss in the cat and cat nip. Then take a HUDGE lungfull bonghit, and blow it into the pillowcase. Hold open end of pillowcase closed for 5 minutes. Repeat until cat smartens the fuck up and chills the fuck out.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

Here she is shopping.

[GordonShumway]

Well shit! Why didn't you say that before!?

In that case grab a pillow case and toss in the cat and cat nip. Then take a HUDGE lungfull bonghit, and blow it into the pillowcase. Hold open end of pillowcase closed for 5 minutes. Repeat until cat smartens the fuck up and chills the fuck out.

I think that approach would certainly help ME chill the fuck out!

She's pretty nice most of the time, and likes to interact with us, but she has this real mean streak that obviously comes out when she feels threatened in some way. So in light of that, no locking her in the room?

[snowsprite]

I have pet cats, and I like cats but it's VERY true that some are just bizarre. The cats I have now are that way. But the cat I had for 16 yrs who died was TOTALLY chill and awesome.

The cat you have sounds like it would fit in better with a kid-free households sad to say. Maybe you should think about trading for a better fit? I have had cats you could basically drop-kick and they'd purr. That's what you need, a big dopey teddy bear of a cat. They are out there.

As for this "get a puppy" thing...some dogs are super cool and chill and I love them. but others are at least equally if not MORE annoying than the cat you describe. Plus they eat their own shit, something I have never seen a feline do...and the main reason I would never, ever EVER allow a dog to lick me and not wash it off or (UGH) lick my mouth!

Still, like I said many amazing chill dogs who I enjoy having around me. Just not sure I'd be so quick to think they bring instant happiness to a household...it can be instant nightmare as well.

Sprite

[iscariot]

I think that approach would certainly help ME chill the fuck out!

She's pretty nice most of the time, and likes to interact with us, but she has this real mean streak that obviously comes out when she feels threatened in some way. So in light of that, no locking her in the room?

Seems like it could be that she feels threatened by certain actions or situations, in that case time is the only real way to tell what sets her off. Whatever happens, don't elevate the aggression in the situation. Remain calm, and the cat will takes its cues from you. This is especially important in terms of your boys behaviour.

Alternatively, it could be a bit of a heirarchy problem. Everyone carries a spraybottle and when the cat misbehaves, squirt it. If it continues, put it in the room for 30 minutes. Let it out. One squirt as a warning. Then in the room. The cat should learn that you're the boss quickly, and that misbehavior results in unwanted seclusion.

The cat could be being agressive because it is trying to establish itself as the alpha in you group. If it is harassing you to pet it or pay attention, then its winning when you submit and give it attention. Then it is agressive when you do something it doesn't like. The cat needs to learn that you'll give it attention when its your decision, not the cat's decision. The cat needs to learn that you and your family are the leaders, and that it has to fit into your life, not the other way round.

The answer really depends on what the cat it thinking and how its interpreting your behavior toward it. It will take time, effort, consistency, and patience.


Getting small cat kibble treats, and starting to train it to do little tasks, will also help establish you and your family as the leaders, because now you're making the cat do things that you want it to do. It has to do those little tasks to get a treat that you control. This gives the cat something to do when it otherwise could be causing trouble, strengthens the leadership role, and teaches the cat appropriate behavior.

[DeathVan]

Please to post pics of said bitcheh pusseh kitteh

[Alaskan Rover]

Here she is shopping.

Ha haa....fuck. Goddamn.....I can't stop laughing. "Crazy Cat Lady". Yup....I know the type. Every town has a few. Where'd you GET this picture? Just typed 'crazy cat woman' into google images??

Hell, with those pajamas tucked into those particularly hilarious boots, she'd be funny even without the cat.....but the cat just tops off the lulz.

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