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Thread: MN Mag needed as faux-ski model...

  1. 01-03-2011, 10:10 PM #1
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    *UPDATE W/TR* MN Mag needed as faux-ski model...

    ... for a photo project.

    Somewhere on the east side of the St. Paul metro area. Some beer to compensate you for your troubles.

    Bonus points if your gear isn't from 1997. Newer is mo' betta.

    PM me for details. Can't promise fame or fortune. But I know a few fat chicks that might dig you.
    Last edited by pointemstraight; 02-08-2011 at 01:55 PM.
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  2. 01-04-2011, 11:40 AM #2
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    Anybody? Bueller?
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  3. 01-04-2011, 07:35 PM #3
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    I live in St. Paul, am NOT photogenic, but have new gear. PM me with what you're thinking. Not a lot of extra time, but might be able to help.
    Gravity. It's the law.
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  4. 01-04-2011, 07:41 PM #4
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    ...oh, and I DON'T do outdoor nudes in the winter for obvious reasons.
    Gravity. It's the law.
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  5. 01-04-2011, 07:46 PM #5
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    Ill bet thats a dealbreaker axe
    "The idea wasnt for me, that I would be the only one that would ever do this. My idea was that everybody should be doing this. At the time nobody was, but this was something thats too much fun to pass up." -Briggs
    Quote Originally Posted by LeeLau View Post
    Wear your climbing harness. Attach a big anodized locker to your belay loop so its in prime position to hit your nuts. Double russian Ti icescrews on your side loops positioned for maximal anal rape when you sit down. Then everyone will know your radness
    More stoke, less shit.
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  6. 01-04-2011, 07:53 PM #6
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    If this is for beer porn, I have experience in both areas and I look a little like the Hedgehog, only with gray hair, and it's not curly and i'm a little taller and not as fat. Lots of gear to choose from and I've got some ski stuff too. Pm for photo's and rates.
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  7. 01-04-2011, 08:25 PM #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by _Aaron_ View Post
    Ill bet thats a dealbreaker axe
    FACK!! Just when I thought my big break was coming!!!
    Gravity. It's the law.
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  8. 01-04-2011, 08:55 PM #8
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    bendtheski is offline Dude, it's dumping!!!
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    Let me tell you what I do...
    I soak myself in lamp oil, and burn myself in front of the camera.
    I'm only burned around the face, neck, chest, breast and head. Not too bad.
    A little make-up conceals everything...
    Quote Originally Posted by ilovetoskiatalta View Post
    Dude its losers like you that give ski bums a bad rap.
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  9. 01-04-2011, 09:00 PM #9
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    Are you guys familiar with the hand-bra? Don't worry Axe, this will be IMPLIED nude. So I'm assuming you're cool with that, nobody wants to see your shriveled-up winter shrinkage anyway.
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  10. 01-04-2011, 09:10 PM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by pointemstraight View Post
    Are you guys familiar with the hand-bra? Don't worry Axe, this will be IMPLIED nude. So I'm assuming you're cool with that, nobody wants to see your shriveled-up winter shrinkage anyway.
    Yeah...it's my loose skin...and my old balls... Gross!!

    Should I go to the gym a couple times?
    Gravity. It's the law.
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  11. 01-04-2011, 09:13 PM #11
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    That's what these are for... it's amazing what you can tighten up.

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  12. 01-04-2011, 09:18 PM #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by pointemstraight View Post
    That's what these are for... it's amazing what you can tighten up.

    Normally, they have cables and hooked up to a battery...and either my nips or choad... I'm getting nervous now.
    Gravity. It's the law.
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  13. 01-04-2011, 09:19 PM #13
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    Bush,

    How about we light your hedgehog mess on fire? Bendtheski can be your stunt double.
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  14. 01-04-2011, 09:19 PM #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by axebiker View Post
    Normally, they have cables and hooked up to a battery...and either my nips or choad... I'm getting nervous now.
    Battery? Fuck that shit. We use 120 straight out of the wall.
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  15. 01-04-2011, 09:41 PM #15
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    Axe has manned up, the rest of you can go home, you're not good enough. Lose some weight, you fat bitches.

    Thanks Axe!
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  16. 01-04-2011, 09:42 PM #16
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    bendtheski is offline Dude, it's dumping!!!
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    Not sure what this has to do with skiing/snowboarding, but that's some funny shit!
    You'll prolly need to photoshop any shots of my ass. My ass looks like ricotta cheese in a plastic bag... or a wet pillow that's been run over by a football team in cleats. You get the idea.

    edit: So you won't be needing my services then? Oh well, at least I won't have give up my dancing gig!
    Peace out sizzle chest!
    Last edited by bendtheski; 01-04-2011 at 09:53 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by ilovetoskiatalta View Post
    Dude its losers like you that give ski bums a bad rap.
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  17. 01-04-2011, 09:44 PM #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by pointemstraight View Post
    Axe has manned up, the rest of you can go home, you're not good enough. Lose some weight, you fat bitches.

    Thanks Axe!
    Don't ever use my name here again... You have no idea what's about to happen to my street cred...
    Gravity. It's the law.
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  18. 01-04-2011, 09:49 PM #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by axebiker View Post
    Don't ever use my name here again... You have no idea what's about to happen to my street cred...
    That is implying that you had some to begin with

    A full TR with pictures must appear within 7 days or I will photoshop one up
    "Not all who wander are lost"
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  19. 01-04-2011, 09:56 PM #19
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    ^^ I have a feeling I will be haunted by this either way.

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  20. 01-04-2011, 09:57 PM #20
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    Wait. Beer AND fat chicks!...Man, I wish I lived in St. Paul...
    Quote Originally Posted by Socialist View Post
    They have socalized healthcare up in canada. The whole country is 100% full of pot smoking pro-athlete alcoholics.
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  21. 01-04-2011, 09:57 PM #21
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    Expect full TR. To hide Axe's identity, we'll replace his face with something more appropriate to make him look better.

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  22. 01-04-2011, 10:07 PM #22
    BrianH
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    I'm an Edina Cake eater!

    AND I just got a new pair of Kung Fujas.

    That's got to count for something!
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  23. 01-04-2011, 10:12 PM #23
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    PIPE DOWN JONG!!

    Who skis K2's around here unless they're Coombas, Seths, Spats, McConkeys, or HellBents?


    Gravity. It's the law.
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  24. 01-04-2011, 10:13 PM #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrianH View Post
    I'm an Edina Cake eater!

    AND I just got a new pair of Kung Fujas.

    That's got to count for something!
    You know damn well that Edina people aren't allowed to go to St. Paul. You would be ostracized.
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  25. 01-04-2011, 10:16 PM #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrianH View Post
    I'm an Edina Cake eater!

    AND I just got a new pair of Kung Fujas.

    That's got to count for something!
    Quote Originally Posted by pointemstraight View Post
    You know damn well that Edina people aren't allowed to go to St. Paul. You would be ostracized.
    Yes. I am The Lord of Frogtown, and I haven't given you safe passage through the 'hood yet. Use caution.

    Gravity. It's the law.
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