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Thread: Langoliers...can it really be the stupidest movie in history???

  1. #1
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    Langoliers...can it really be the stupidest movie in history???

    The answer is YES !!!

    I've seen some REALLY bad movies based upon Stephen King novels and short stories, and I thought the bottom was reached when the movie "It" came out (based on one of his BEST books, btw).

    No way..."It" didn't even come close to scraping the spunk-sticky bottom of the barrel. Langoliers is not only the worst Stephen King movie I've ever seen, it's perhaps the stupidest movie in stupid-movie history!!!

    The acting wouldn't be so unfathomably unacceptable if it wasn't attached to some of the wost special effects I've ever seen outside of a Dr. Who screen set.

    King has had some decent movies come out from his stories: Shawshank Redemption; The Shining...Stand By Me.....umm....ummmm.... Well, okay, only those three...the rest sucked.

    But the Langoliers is the suckiest of the suck....by far.

    Anybody come up with any other movies besides those three that didn't? and don't say Salem's Lot. I might nominate Carrie as one of his movies that didn't absolutely suck...but it would be well behind those three. And the only thing that made the Shining good was that sno-cat and Jack Nicholson...in that order.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alaskan Rover View Post
    Stephen King sucks.
    FIFY....
    Quote Originally Posted by Socialist View Post
    They have socalized healthcare up in canada. The whole country is 100% full of pot smoking pro-athlete alcoholics.

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    Fuck that - "The Green Mile" and "Misery" were awesome as well.

    That said, most films of his are meh at best - "Maximum Overdrive" was awful.

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    Harry Dean Stanton, however, showed true professionalism by not just walking off the set in disgust.
    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster View Post
    Fuck that - "The Green Mile" and "Misery" were awesome as well.

    That said, most films of his are meh at best - "Maximum Overdrive" was awful.

    He has a few stories, his better efforts IMHO, that do not rely on this crutch, such as Misery.

    For the most part he just puts interesting and well developed characters into implausible, unbelievable, and ridiculous situations that come from out of nowhere, in order to move the story. He can create good characters, he just can't make them do anything interesting without relying on the deus ex machina crutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Socialist View Post
    They have socalized healthcare up in canada. The whole country is 100% full of pot smoking pro-athlete alcoholics.

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    I haven't seen Langoliers, but it can't be worse than Dreamcatcher. That was an ungodly piece of shit.
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    Ive never read any of his stuff, but I did see the Stand and thought that was ok, and yes, Langoliers was the worst thing I have ever seen. I assume we are all referring to the ABC miniseries starring Balki from Perfect Strangers and that dude from Quantum Leap?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Caucasian Asian View Post
    I haven't seen Langoliers, but it can't be worse than Dreamcatcher. That was an ungodly piece of shit.
    You ever see Maximum Overdrive? That was worse than Dreamcatcher... So was Lawnmower Man. I'd put Pet Semetary and Dreamcatcher on about the same level: Bad, but not by far the worst.

    I don't understand King movies. There seem to be two kinds: Pretty darned good (Misery, Stand By Me, Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption, Carrie, The Shining) and really bad (all of the rest).
    ...Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chainsaw_Willie View Post
    Misery, Stand By Me, Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption, Carrie, The Shining
    I'll add Dolores Claiborne and The Secret Window. That's a lot of pretty decent movies from one writer.

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    I'd say running man was awesome in an '80's Schwarzenegger kind of way, although it only bore a passing resemblance to the book.

    "What happened to Buzzsaw?"
    "He had to split."

    I've also heard that 1408 wasn't that bad, although I haven't seen it yet.

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    Wasn't Langoliers a made for tv movie? yes it did suck couldn't even finish it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by funkendrenchman View Post
    I'll add Dolores Claiborne and The Secret Window. That's a lot of pretty decent movies from one writer.
    Never saw those two - didn't even realize they'd been made into movies. In fact, I've read a lot of King's stuff and have never heard of "The Secret Window." Guess I'll add that one to the list of stuff to look for by him.
    ...Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain...

    "I enjoy skinny skiing, bullfights on acid..." - Lacy Underalls

    The problems we face will not be solved by the minds that created them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chainsaw_Willie View Post
    Never saw those two - didn't even realize they'd been made into movies. In fact, I've read a lot of King's stuff and have never heard of "The Secret Window." Guess I'll add that one to the list of stuff to look for by him.
    It's based on his novella called "Secret Window, Secret Garden."

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    Secret Window, The Mist, Shining, Stand By Me, GM, Shawshank, Misery, Dolores Claiborne. All great movies.

    The other 26 are on the whole, pretty rough. The worst one's not even here. Tommyknockers is a riproaring book, but the tv movie? /shudder/

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    I just stumbled upon this (it’s screening at an arthouse cinema an hour away from me next weekend).

    It’s basically a one hour-and-some-change edit of The Langoliers using cool paper-tearing animation overlays.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Eoqh8Rvqw0

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