Odd Question: Urine identification

**flyandski365** · 05-12-2010, 12:56 AM

This is an odd request, I know, but I've seen questions answered here before that really surprised me, so here goes.

I need to determine with a good level of certainty whether a substance is/is not urine, but I do not have access to the proper equipment and testing materials. It looks and smells like urine, but that isn't precise enough for my purposes. So, without access to spectroscopy equipment, how do I go about determining if what I'm seeing is in fact urine?

G · 05-12-2010, 02:01 AM

She faking it. She never really had an orgasm.

**LightRanger** · 05-12-2010, 02:15 AM

Originally Posted by G

She faking it. She never really had an orgasm.

I laughed.

And that's basically what I thought of too.

**BS720** · 05-12-2010, 02:47 AM

I simply place a little on my chest. If it tingles, as usual, I know it's urine. In the early stages, you may pick up a pH strip from a drug store.

**RootSkier** · 05-12-2010, 07:16 AM

Taste it, JONG.

**dumpy** · 05-12-2010, 08:02 AM

I know the answer, but won't provide it until I hear why you need to know if a substance is urine.

okay, I don't really know how, but I bet there is a good story behind this and I want to hear it

**flyandski365** · 05-12-2010, 08:28 AM

Love the responses, I loled. Anyway, not sure if this qualifies as a good story or not, but I'll tell it anyway.

Apparently one of my roommates is a pretty anal person, and I'm pretty much the complete opposite, as is the the third roommate. The two of us have a habit of pouring a splash of whatever is handy in the fridge and drinking it. Never seems to have bothered anyone and not a word has been said, so we just assumed he was doing it too. So, when I came home from work the other day hot, sweaty and smelling like jet fuel (Had a helicopter vent fuel on us while working on the boat), I did what I occasionally do. The only problem was that this time it was (apparently) urine. The asshole actually piissed in a bottle and left it in there to trick one of us into drinking it. All this without ever having voice a complaint.

I want to know without a doubt that its urine so that I can with a clear conscience let all of our mutual friends (many of whom are attractive females, and one of which he is madly in love with

) know what a disgusting shitbag he is.

**Viva** · 05-12-2010, 08:29 AM

Sprinkle some on the ground or on a tree trunk near ground level. If a male dog pee over it, it's urine. If the dog licks it, it's lemonade.

**DoWork** · 05-12-2010, 08:36 AM

Hahahahahahaha that is so fucking funny... Why don't you just ask the guy?

**flyandski365** · 05-12-2010, 08:41 AM

I have asked him, but he is out of town and will not answer the phone/text.

**DoWork** · 05-12-2010, 08:48 AM

Ok, so it's urine then. Just pour a bucket of rancid piss all over his room while he's gone, or just use his drawers as urinals for the time being. When he gets back, his anal self will lose his mind but hey, that's why you don't try to trick peopel into drinking piss. People that live in glass houses...

**bmg97** · 05-12-2010, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by RootSkier

Taste it, JONG.

Exactly, don't you watch Matlock ?

**stompinlines** · 05-12-2010, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by flyandski365

The two of us have a habit of pouring a splash of whatever is handy in the fridge and drinking it.

Classic passive words of a fucking mooch.

**hutash** · 05-12-2010, 09:15 AM

If you have a veterinarian you know ask him/her to stick an azostick in it. If the nitrogen level is high, it's pee, and you need to beat the shit out of your roommate.

**dumpy** · 05-12-2010, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by hutash

If you have a veterinarian you know ask him/her to stick an azostick in it. If the nitrogen level is high, it's pee, and you need to beat the shit out of your roommate.

I wonder if an aquarium test kit would work. They test for (amongst other things) Nitrites, Nitrates, Ammonia and PH levels.

Can be found for about $20 at any pet store or even walmart. If you know anyone with a tank, they would definitely have one. PetSmart does free water testing, maybe bring it in there?

**Flaskman** · 05-12-2010, 09:31 AM

I used a black light to determine the location of cat urine in a house once, that should work for your purposes, too.

I agree with Hutash though, you really need to beat the shit outta this guy.

G · 05-12-2010, 09:44 AM

How many times has this guy nicely asked you to stop stealing his stuff?

**flyandski365** · 05-12-2010, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by G

How many times has this guy nicely asked you to stop stealing his stuff?

0, none, nada.

I admit that I'm a bit in the wrong here, but this was in no way an appropriate response.

To add to that, he eats meals that I cook, and has never reciprocated. Doesn't bother me because I'm not that kind of guy and I enjoy cooking and sharing.

**Skidog** · 05-12-2010, 10:16 AM

I like the ideas of using his shit as a urinal while he's out of town, but in reality i'd keep the "urine" sample...and press charges. There has to be something illegal about that...

or just kick his ass.

**Mofro261** · 05-12-2010, 10:39 AM

It's this simple:take another swig of what's in the fridge. Then lie on your back and try to piss in your mouth.

Was it a match?

**Professor** · 05-12-2010, 10:43 AM

Cue Kingpin........

Neighbor: Hey Roy, can you get sick from drinking piss?
Roy: I think you can.
Neighbor: Even if its your own?

**Art Shirk** · 05-12-2010, 10:47 AM

In college, I had an affinity for micturating on electronics. TV's, video game consoles, computers, even electric shavers. I recommend a similar course of action.

Or, just whip up a quick batch of jenkem, ferment, pour into a pringles can, pop some holes in the lid, place it under his bed, turn up the heat in his room and let that place marinate.

Did I just write any of that?

**Ted Striker** · 05-12-2010, 11:10 AM

Too funny.

Originally Posted by Flaskman

I used a black light to determine the location of cat urine in a house once, that should work for your purposes, too.

I agree with Hutash though, you really need to beat the shit outta this guy.

That's the correct answer. It has to be a real black light, i.e. fluorescent tube, not an incandescent lightbulb.

Originally Posted by commonlaw

whip up a quick batch of jenkem...

Had to google that one... wow. Just wow.