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Thread: Boulder Craigslist Ad: Time Travel Needed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Movin' On
    Posts
    3,953

    Boulder Craigslist Ad: Time Travel Needed

    http://boulder.craigslist.org/etc/1406819680.html

    I am looking to hire someone capable of transporting me into the past, specifically to November 5th 1977. I will wish to return to the present five days later on November 10th 1977.
    Your method of temporal transfer may be technological, magickal, psychic or other, it is irrelevant. I am willing to sign what ever non-disclosure agreements you require, including protecting your technical/mystical secrets and agreeing not to alter the timeline. I WILL require the functionality of your time travel method to be vetted by an expert, chosen by me before ANY monetary transfer takes place.

    While in the past, I intend only to observe two events, one in San Diego, CA on the evening of November 6th, 1977, the next in Baltimore MD on the afternoon of November 8th, 1977. Depending on what I learn, I may need to make additional observations on November 9th and 10th, but I do not wish to risk staying longer in the past. I also need to purchase a couple of small items while in San Diego. I intend to bury these in a place I can retrieve them in the present. These purchases are not intended for resale or any other form of monetary gain, rather they are related to the personal mystery which I am intending to solve.

    I plan to use contemporary transportation and lodging and intend to bring a small amount of gold into the past to exchange for contemporary currency, although if you can arrange some form of transportation (such as teleportation) I am prepared to compensate you with a substantial bonus. I must, however, insist on TOTAL privacy while I conduct my investigation of the past and will require YOU to sign a non-disclosure agreement should you happen to accidentally learn anything. This trip pertains to a family business matter and the people involved are very touchy and the legal ramifications potentially far reaching.

    Only qualified candidates need bother applying. I understand this is a long shot but appreciate your consideration. Thank you very much.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    264
    Should hook them up with this guy:


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    THOR-Foothills
    Posts
    6,042
    ^^^maybe Ryu and Chun Li would accompany this guy back in time
    It doesn't matter if you're a king or a little street sweeper...
    ...sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper
    -Death

    Quote Originally Posted by St. Jerry View Post
    The other morning I was awoken to "Daddy, my fart fell on the floor"
    Kaz is my co-pilot

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Colyrady
    Posts
    3,780
    I bet we could save him the trouble:

    Yes your grandpa is also your dad.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    soaring on the shitwinds
    Posts
    7,321
    Who knew Dolph Lundgren's gay cousin was a time traveler?!?!?????
    "If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise." -Robert Fritz

    Quote Originally Posted by skifishbum View Post
    not enough nun fisters in that community

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    SLUT
    Posts
    3,342
    it's boulder. i bet someone was just really, really, really, REALLY stoned.

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