The Skier's Ten Commandments (circa 1928)

[Empty Beer]

While visiting Yosemite a few weeks ago, I was checking out the Winter Club Room in the Ahwahnee Hotel... lots of cool old photos from the 1920's-40's. Inside one of the display cases was "The Skier's Ten Commandments", which was written in the late 1920's by Jules Fritsch, a Swiss ski instructor that that came to Yosemite to start a ski program. It was interesting and funny to read... those guys had as much passion and humor about skiing as maggots do today.

Among other things, Fritsch probably rolled over in his grave upon the introduction of snowboarding... and all the subsequent "sitzmarks" that have come from them

Here's the pic... text version below:



The Skier’s Ten Commandments

1. Thou shall have no other sports before ski.
   
2. Thou shalt not take with thee any showshoes, neither any toboggans, nor any other means of transportation from the heavens above to the earth beneath.
   
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for what of it?
   
4. Remember the winter-time and keep in wholly, in the summer shalt thou labor and do all thy work, but the winter is the season of the ski, thy Lord and master. In its evenings thou shalt not fritter away the time with backgammon, nor with red-dog, nor michigan, nor tiddleywinks, nor jig-saw puzzles, but in the sweat of thy brow shalt thou polish and wax thy skis. For in ten hours shalt thou labor and climb up the hill, and in ten minutes shalt thou be down again. (Oh yeah.)
   
5. Carry thy own skis and thy knapsack, that thy friends shall not avoid thee, and that thy days may be long on the ski trips that thou makest.
   
6. Thou shalt not dither.
   
7. Thou shalt not commit sitzmarks.
   
8. Thou shalt not swipe thy neighbor's ski-wax.
   
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness of thy downhill runs, nor thy jump turns, nor thy telemarks.
   
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s sealskins, nor thy neighbor’s agility, nor his Stem-Christiania, nor his Closed-Christiania, nor his Open-Christiania., nor any Christiania which is thy neighbor’s.

"Sitzmarks are made by fools like me, But only Fritsch can miss a tree."

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

[Pancakes]

These are important laws to obey. Thank you for sharing, and may no skier every violate them, under pain of agonizing shame.

[HankScorpio]

[*]Thou shalt not dither.

Shit, I just dithered all over myself.

[Howie]

"Sitzmarks are made by fools like me, But only Fritsch can miss a tree.

Ahaha thats great

[irul&ublo]

Circa 1928? Did Splat write those?

[gpcharles]

i just had a chilly feeling up my spine!

[HankScorpio]

dither
2 entries found.

1. dither (intransitive verb)

2. dither (noun)




Main Entry: 1. dith·er
Pronunciation: \ˈdi-thər\
Function: intransitive verb
Inflected Form(s): dith·ered; dith·er·ing \-th(ə-)riŋ\
Etymology: Middle English didderen
Date: 15th century
1 : shiver , tremble
2 : to act nervously or indecisively : vacillate
— dith·er·er \-thər-ər\ noun





I had no idea. Thank you Marriam Webster.

[summit]

dither
2 entries found.

1. dither (intransitive verb)

2. dither (noun)




Main Entry: 1. dith·er
Pronunciation: \ˈdi-thər\
Function: intransitive verb
Inflected Form(s): dith·ered; dith·er·ing \-th(ə-)riŋ\
Etymology: Middle English didderen
Date: 15th century
1 : shiver , tremble
2 : to act nervously or indecisively : vacillate
— dith·er·er \-thər-ər\ noun





I had no idea. Thank you Marriam Webster.

So

6. Thou shalt sack up and ship it, pussy.
7. Thou shalt not beater.

[strode420]

dither
2 entries found.

1. dither (intransitive verb)

2. dither (noun)




Main Entry: 1. dith·er
Pronunciation: \ˈdi-thər\
Function: intransitive verb
Inflected Form(s): dith·ered; dith·er·ing \-th(ə-)riŋ\
Etymology: Middle English didderen
Date: 15th century
1 : shiver , tremble
2 : to act nervously or indecisively : vacillate
— dith·er·er \-thər-ər\ noun





I had no idea. Thank you Marriam Webster.

it's also a term used to describe digital conversions of audio files relative to their maximum volume level

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dither

.....although i doubt that's what the guy who wrote those was referring to .

[Empty Beer]

Who wants to take a shot at updating the 10 Commandments for today's skiers, without straying too far from the current verbiage?

[stuckathuntermtn]

very Monty Python!

[nick > jesus]

Awesome stuff, thanks for posting those up.

[madturtle]

Who wants to take a shot at updating the 10 Commandments for today's skiers, without straying too far from the current verbiage?

1. Thou shall have no other sports before ski. still the same

2. Thou shalt not take with thee any showshoes, neither any snow machines, nor chair lifts or other means of transportation from the heavens above to the earth beneath.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for what of it? still the same

4. Remember the winter-time and keep in holy, in the summer shalt thou labor and do all thy work, but the winter is the season of the ski, thy Lord and master. In its evenings thou shalt not fritter away the time with backgammon, nor with red-bull, nor facebook, nor my space, not even TGR , but in the sweat of thy brow shalt thou polish and wax thy skis. For in ten hours shalt thou labor and climb up the hill, and in ten minutes shalt thou be down again. (Oh yeah.)

5. Carry thy own skis and thy knapsack, that thy friends shall not avoid thee, and that thy days may be long on the ski trips that thou makest. still the same

6. Thou shalt not dither...unless photoing thy's friends for interweb stardom

7. Thou shalt not commit hip checks.

8. Thou shalt not swipe thy neighbor's PBR.

9. Thou shall shall shamelessly embelish, exagerate and photshop thy's downhill runs, thy's hucks, and thy's jump turns, and thy's telemarks.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s fatter skis, nor thy neighbor’s fun shapes, nor his mad steezey long-T, nor his hucks, nor his striaght lines, nor any of the mad skillz which is thy neighbor’s.

[Empty Beer]

^^^ well done Matt!... you've captured the essence of Maggot Commandments!!

[Dhelihiker]

2. Thou shalt not take with thee any showshoes, neither any snow machines, nor chair lifts or other means of transportation from the heavens above to the earth beneath.

There goes your ride to Pyramid

[skichick]

1. Thou shall have no other sports before ski. still the same

2. Thou shalt not take with thee any showshoes, neither any snow machines, nor chair lifts or other means of transportation from the heavens above to the earth beneath.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for what of it? still the same

4. Remember the winter-time and keep in holy, in the summer shalt thou labor and do all thy work, but the winter is the season of the ski, thy Lord and master. In its evenings thou shalt not fritter away the time with backgammon, nor with red-bull, nor facebook, nor my space, not even TGR , but in the sweat of thy brow shalt thou polish and wax thy skis. For in ten hours shalt thou labor and climb up the hill, and in ten minutes shalt thou be down again. (Oh yeah.)

5. Carry thy own skis and thy knapsack, that thy friends shall not avoid thee, and that thy days may be long on the ski trips that thou makest. still the same

6. Thou shalt not dither...unless photoing thy's friends for interweb stardom

7. Thou shalt not commit hip checks.

8. Thou shalt not swipe thy neighbor's PBR.

9. Thou shall shall shamelessly embelish, exagerate and photshop thy's downhill runs, thy's hucks, and thy's jump turns, and thy's telemarks.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s fatter skis, nor thy neighbor’s fun shapes, nor his mad steezey long-T, nor his hucks, nor his striaght lines, nor any of the mad skillz which is thy neighbor’s.

nice job!

[skibum93]

Funny
and true

[Making a Pizza]

So

6. Thou shalt sack up and ship it, pussy.
7. Thou shalt not beater.

Wow, it's just like skiing with summit in real life....

[khyber.pass]

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s fatter skis, nor thy neighbor’s fun shapes, nor his mad steezey long-T, nor his hucks, nor his striaght lines, nor any of the mad skillz which is thy neighbor’s.

Nice on #1-9. But #10, close, but no cigar -- the original was all about the *other* meanings of "Christiana."

10. Thou shalt not cover thy neighbour's fat skis, fat joints, fat 4WD tires, nor any other fat ride which is thy neighbour's.

--> Something like that. Insinuation must abound. But Christiana sounds much nicer than a fat ride, if you ask me.

[Tunco]

That is pretty f'n funny.

[Core Shot]

[*]Remember the winter-time and keep in wholly, in the summer shalt thou labor and do all thy work, but the winter is the season of the ski, thy Lord and master. In its evenings thou shalt not fritter away the time with backgammon, nor with red-dog, nor michigan, nor tiddleywinks, nor jig-saw puzzles, but in the sweat of thy brow shalt thou polish and wax thy skis.

For in ten hours shalt thou labor and climb up the hill, and in ten minutes shalt thou be down again. (Oh yeah.)
.

My favorite by far.

True ski-bummery in the first half.

The painful truth of earn your turns in the last line.

[72Twenty]

Circa 1928? Did Splat write those?

Yeah, you were there, remember? Or is your memory fading as fast as your ability to maintain an erection?

[wardog]

That's a gem.

How about "Thou shalt not break wind whilst breaking trail, but rather whilst following."

[irul&ublo]

Yeah, you were there, remember? Or is your memory fading as fast as your ability to maintain an erection?

there you go....thinking about my erect penis again