Epic Fail! FIS’s New Theme Song Will Make You Cringe

A few years ago, as the movement pushing slopestyle skiing & snowboarding into the Winter Olympics gained steam past the point of no return, many pros and fans sounded the death knell for the soul of competitive skiing and riding. With the clueless old Euros of FIS running the show again 20 years after freeskiing broke free from its rigidity on purpose, style would no doubt go out the window, and competitors would quickly morph into an army of trained robot gymnasts without a glint of personality or flair.

For the conspiracy theorists at home reading this, FIS's new theme song for the 2015 Freestyle Ski & Snowboard World Championships confirms any and all fears. A weak tinkling of an attempt at creating a pop hit, "Up On The Mountain" has random Austrians strumming chairs and brooms, a frontman who looks like he just came fresh from his CPA exam to sing the chorus, and for anyone who wasn't sure FIS was totally clueless about snowboard culture, a nice SSX Tricky reference to wrap it all up. It's apparent the director spent most of their time reading scripts from Teen Nickelodean and may have never bothered to pick up a ski or snowboard magazine published anytime in the past 15 years. The end is nigh, comrades... dig your bomb shelters.