It’s time to face the facts: bears are evolving and are probably going to take over the world as the new dominant species. This summer, we’ve seen them opening car doors, walking on their hind legs, cooking with Jetboils, kayaking down the Snake River… and then there’s this one, which managed to get itself locked inside of a vehicle.
So here’s the question: what the hell happens when you stick a black bear inside a station wagon?
Answer: Complete. Subaru. Carnage.
When 17-year-old Annie Bruecker got the car a few months ago to drive to her summer job, she definitely wasn't expecting this. “I honestly could not tell you how he got in,” she told ABC 7 Denver.
“No windows were broken. The door handles weren’t the kind you lift up. And yet somehow this medium-sized bear managed to open a door, crawl inside and close the door behind him,” the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department said in a statement. “Deputies could tell by all the moisture on the windows that he’d clearly been inside for a while.
After being freed from the car it had just disemboweled, the bear high tails it back to the woods.
“Oh my,” a Deputy says, peering into the innocent adventure mobile.
If you live in bear country, own a Subaru (which you probably do), and leave food in your car with the doors unlocked... well, now you know what'll happen.