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TGR HQ Overrun By Disruptive Pokemon Go Creatures

Pokemon Creatures blockade TGR headquarters on Wednesday, trapping dozens of media professionals inside. Sam Morse photo/photoshop.

WILSON, Wyo. — A glitch in the Pokemon Go app Wednesday caused TGR’s world headquarters to be overrun by playful — but violent — cartoon creatures, leading many to worry about production delays and an ensuing social media blackout. TGR employees trapped inside the building were reportedly “hanging in there,” but said they were “running out of pokeballs fast” and needed food, water and Red Bull energy drinks airdropped on the besieged compound.

Once word spread that the media house had suffered an infestation, local and regional Pokemon hunters descended upon the location, snarling roads and backing up nearby Teton Pass all the way into Idaho. One anonymous TGR athlete who turned to Poke-hunting after the onslaught said it’s “like a war zone!” referring to Wilson, Wyoming. “I just saw a cute little Charmander go full Charzard and FUCKING DESTROY Pearl Street Bagels!”

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Eye-witnesses indicated that ex-TGR intern Toby Koekkoek was visiting the HQ when the onset of the rabid creatures began, and according to managing editor Jon Desabris, Koekkoek bravely volunteered to go outside to probe the situation.

I just saw a cute little Charmander go full Charzard and FUCKING DESTROY Pearl Street Bagels!

“We gave him a can of bear spray and mounted him with a GoPro,” the locked-down Desabris wrote in an email sent from inside the building. “Toby told us he was ‘pretty much a Pokemon whisperer,’ so we trusted he’d be able to hold his own. But we were wrong...”

“We watched him approach a group of cute-seeming Pikachus,” Desabris continued. “He extended his hand and made babyish cooing noises — then they attacked! Those Poke-bastards zapped him with Pika-bolts, then shot him with his own bear spray. He crawled back and we grabbed him. He got evac’d by heli a little while ago. Don’t tell him, but we’ve been watching the GoPro footie on repeat now for, like, four hours — it’s pretty funny.”

In an official press release addressing the situation, Nintendo VP Akito Miyamoto apologized to Teton Gravity Research for the best-selling app’s glitch, but maintained that it was now up to Wyoming locals and TGR employees to “catch ’em all.”

From The Column: The Bumion

About The Author

stash member Sam Morse

TGR Editor-at-Large. author of The Ski Town Fairytale and creative behind The Bumion. Lover of steep-and-deep lines, long trails—and hot springs waiting in the distance.

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