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Son Comes Out To Parents As Ski Bum

Tom and Sue Clifford struggle to reconcile their son's newly outed status as a ski bum. Creative Commons photos. 

MTN. TOWN, USA — Saying they don't know where they went wrong, parents Tom and Sue Clifford were confused and grief-stricken Friday after their 22-year-old son, Gary, came out of the closet ... as a ski bum. 

Choking back waves of sobbing, Sue Clifford told TGR in an exclusive interview that the whole ordeal has shaken her family to its very foundations.  

"He always told us he moved to Colorado for a tech gig in Denver," she said while intermittently breaking into desperate wails for it all to be a joke. "But we had no clue he was living as a waiter/dog-walker/occasional drug dealer in Breckenridge!?" 

RELATED: Mom Puzzled By Yale-Grad Daughter's #Vanlife

Admitting he was "stoked" to finally tell his parents the truth, the newly outed ski bum said he's known from an early age about his ski-bum tendencies, but held it back for so long to avoid the familial fallout. 

We had no clue he was living as a waiter/dog-walker/occasional drug dealer in Breckenridge.

"I'm done hiding," he said proudly. "The first time I realized I was different, I was on a 7th-grade ski trip. I saw a group of mangy snowboarders shotgunning beers, and I wanted to be just like them. I tried giving my parents little hints — like fixing things with duct tape all the time — but they always assumed it was just a phase."

But on an uplifting note, while admittedly shocked, Tom Clifford, 56, said that he and his wife would embrace their son, and stand by him "no matter what — as long as he eventually puts that finance degree we paid for to use." 

From The Column: The Bumion

Dig the article Sam, it was just the kind of nerve we were trying to hit when we wrote “Ski Bum: The Musical” a few years back; the dude in your story accompanying image is original cast member RJ Peters, playing the role of consummate ski bum Jeff Snowden. Let me know if you want an MP3 of some of the songs- we are thinking about remounting a reunion tour sometime in the future.
Tyler Austin Bradley
Rossland BC

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