Tom and Sue Clifford struggle to reconcile their son's newly outed status as a ski bum. Creative Commons photos.
MTN. TOWN, USA — Saying they don't know where they went wrong, parents Tom and Sue Clifford were confused and grief-stricken Friday after their 22-year-old son, Gary, came out of the closet ... as a ski bum.
Choking back waves of sobbing, Sue Clifford told TGR in an exclusive interview that the whole ordeal has shaken her family to its very foundations.
"He always told us he moved to Colorado for a tech gig in Denver," she said while intermittently breaking into desperate wails for it all to be a joke. "But we had no clue he was living as a waiter/dog-walker/occasional drug dealer in Breckenridge!?"
Admitting he was "stoked" to finally tell his parents the truth, the newly outed ski bum said he's known from an early age about his ski-bum tendencies, but held it back for so long to avoid the familial fallout.
We had no clue he was living as a waiter/dog-walker/occasional drug dealer in Breckenridge.
"I'm done hiding," he said proudly. "The first time I realized I was different, I was on a 7th-grade ski trip. I saw a group of mangy snowboarders shotgunning beers, and I wanted to be just like them. I tried giving my parents little hints — like fixing things with duct tape all the time — but they always assumed it was just a phase."
But on an uplifting note, while admittedly shocked, Tom Clifford, 56, said that he and his wife would embrace their son, and stand by him "no matter what — as long as he eventually puts that finance degree we paid for to use."
From The Column: The Bumion
MOUNTAIN TOWN, USA — A ski bum’s clandestine eat-for-free scheme was busted Thursday when resort cafeteria workers noticed the man pocketing an abnormal amount of saltine crackers and condiments. After being detained, the ski bum confessed that he has zero remorse and “can’t wait to get back to crushing Saltine Sammies." According to law enforcement transcripts, 25-year-old Tony Koekkoek had been surviving on nothing but “saltines, condiments and whatever else people left behind on
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