Sign In:

×

Last Step!

Please enter your public display name and a secure password.

Plan to post in the forums? Change your default forum handle here!

×
×

Roommates Still Not Sure Who Guy On Couch Is

Guy on the Couch makes himself at home while indulging in leftover Chinese, beer, and NorCal stank. Pixabay Commons photo.

MOUNTAIN TOWN, USA — A group of ski town roommates were surprised and weirded out Friday when they discovered a strange, hairy man poaching their couch, smoking their herb and eating their food without permission.

The roommates discovered the stranger after returning home from a raft trip on the Colorado River, and according to one of the rent-paying tenants, the Guy on the Couch was “pretty chill, but smelled like BO mixed with dog shit.”

RELATED: Man Defends Size, Shape of Powder Turns

When asked who the fuck he was and why he was taking domestic liberties with their weed, beer and food, 24-year-old Guy on the Couch explained simply that “Jerry said it was cool.”

However, as of press time, none of the confused and semi-frightened roommates could confirm any relation to the mysterious and potentially made-up “Jerry.”

“Who the fuck is Jerry?” pissed-off roommate Danny Ware, 23, demanded of TGR during an interview. “I’m sure Guy on the Couch is really nice, but he won’t stop hitting on my girlfriend, and it’s making us very uncomfortable."

In their absence he’d clogged the toilet and defiled their hot tub/master bedroom with another uninvited, nocturnal guest.

After recovering from the shock of finding a stranger in their home, the roommates decided to give Guy on the Couch a shot, only to discover that in their absence he’d clogged the toilet and defiled their hot tub/master bedroom with another uninvited, nocturnal guest.

“I met her at the bar down the street,” Guy on the Couch told TGR. “But I couldn’t tell her the truth that I’m homeless, unemployed and haven’t done laundry or taken a shower in four weeks, so I did what any dirtbag would do, and told her I owned the house and just rent out the extra rooms for cash, because, ya know, people need housing.”

From The Column: The Bumion

This is one of the best articles I have come across. Keep up the good work. Johnny Cokley

This was a useful post. Thanks for sharing.
SSC CGL result

Play
READ THE STORY
Farmer’s Almanac Gives Up – Bullshits Winter Forecast
Up Next Culture

Farmer’s Almanac Gives Up – Bullshits Winter Forecast

Farmer’s Almanac Gives Up – Bullshits Winter Forecast

MTN. TOWN, USA — The ski and snowboard community was totally unsurprised Friday to learn that the 225-year-old Farmer’s Almanac has been making up their weather forecasts since the publication’s founding in 1792. 

Recently unearthed records show that the Almanac’s highly unscientific (and often 100 percent wrong) forecasting has never been about farming, but in fact started in the early 1800s as a whisky drinking game between pow-hungry pioneers. RELATED: NOAA Predicts 'Shitloads' of

Play
READ THE STORY
From Ski Bum Dishwasher to Beer Entrepreneur: An Interview with Jeremy Tofte
Up Next Culture

From Ski Bum Dishwasher to Beer Entrepreneur: An Interview with Jeremy Tofte

From Ski Bum Dishwasher to Beer Entrepreneur: An Interview with Jeremy Tofte

The social fabric of every ski town is usually held together by a few institutions. Bars and restaurants where like-minded ski bums flock to bask in the glory of the day's turns and commiserate in the challenges of living in the mountains. In TGR's hometown of Jackson, Wyoming, Thai Me Up and by extension, Melvin Brewing, is a hub where locals flock to indulge in food and libations.  Melvin Brewing, which was originally started out of the Thai Me Up storefront, has been gaining more

Play
READ THE STORY
What Do You Think of Team USA’s Freeski Uniforms?
Up Next Culture

What Do You Think of Team USA’s Freeski Uniforms?

What Do You Think of Team USA’s Freeski Uniforms?

This week the U.S. freeskiing team unveiled their new uniforms for the upcoming Olympics in South Korea with a large press event in New York City. It was attended by Maddie Bowman and Devin Logan, along with Aaron Blunck. The North Face was again tasked with creating the kits for Team USA and the company worked closely with the athletes for the new look. Based on feedback from the Sochi games they wanted more muted color palette, which is reflected in the design along with other